Kanben
=======
by Elements of Desire

	"To forgive oneself"-? No, that doesn't work: 
		we have to be forgiven.
	But we can only believe this is possible 
		if we ourselves can forgive.
				-Dag Hammarskjold
				"Night is Drawing Nigh"

Part I - Casablanca
-------------------------

	"Rei-chan.  Rei-chan."  She turned.  Everything seemed so blurry.  
Nothing was clear.  Her eyes focused on a distant figure calling her 
name.
	"Na ni?  Who's there?"  Her mind felt so tired, as if she hadn't 
slept for years.
	"Rei-chan, don't you remember?  Our promise?"  The figure's hand 
reached toward hers.  White hands that held something, something that 
she recognized.
	"Promise?"  She shook her head trying to clear it.  "I don't 
remember?  Who are you?  What are you talking about?"
	"Rei-chan, our promise."  The figure smiled, she couldn't see it 
but she knew that he was smiling.  He?  In his hand he held a flower, a 
white flower that he cradled with care.  "Our promise."  He held the 
flower to her.  "Our promise."
	He began to fade even further into the fog.  His figure started 
to disappear, moving away from her.  "Matte!  Matte!  Who are you?  
What do you mean?  What promise?"  She cried out, trying to catch his 
disappearing figure.  Or was it his shadow she was chasing?  She wasn't 
sure, but he faded away into the darkness from afar.
	"Rei-chan, I remember our promise.  Please forgive me for 
breaking it."  And then the voice was gone and she was alone again in a 
place that she didn't recognize.  Tears fell onto the ground as she 
cried for the first time in years, or was it thousands of years?  She 
wasn't sure, all she knew was that she had never been lonelier, she had 
never been sadder.
	"Help me Yui-chan, what is this supposed to mean?"

	The morning washed away the dream, as her tears had.  In 
frustration she headed out into the gardens and sat in silence, 
contemplating the emptiness in her heart.
	"Rei-chan!"  She turned, her hair of black-violet swirled like 
dark rivulets of flames.  Soft pale-pink petals drifted by as a breeze 
swept them into the air, filling the atmosphere with the scent of sweet 
cherry-blossom, creating an air of romance.
	"Minako-chan?"  She raised one questioning brow to the golden-
haired woman running toward her.
	"The girls and I are going for a picnic, want to come?"  The 
golden-haired beauty asked brightly.  "Everyone is going to be there, 
even Usagi-chan- I mean Serenity."  She smiled again before she 
continued, "Haurka and Michiru agreed to come.  Of course Hotaru and 
Chibiusa are still going to school so they're not going to be there and 
Setsuna is doing what Setsuna always do..."
	The two grinned and said in union, "Guarding the Time Gate."  
Minako chuckled softly while Rei rolled her eyes.
	"She really needs a vacation," the dark-haired woman said with a 
pensive smile as a far away look came upon her face.
	"Hai, a long vacation!"  Minako shook her head and smirked.  Soon 
silence fell upon the two.  "Rei-chan, I hope you're coming.  You 
haven't done anything with us since your last birthday party."  She 
said worriedly.
	"I've done things with you guys!"  Rei quickly tried to defend 
herself.
	"Hai, but not as a group.  We're hardly ever together now as a 
group!  Everyone always have something else to do or are too busy!  
Please Rei, give in and come enjoy the sun with us!"  Minako begged.
	"And what would I do there?  Watch the rest of you cuddle?"  She 
asked sarcastically.
	"Hey, we know it's been hard for you but at least try to show!"  
	Rei sighed, "Alright, I'll try!  But I can't promise anything."  
Her golden friend beamed happily.
	"I'll see you there then Rei-chan!"  With that the other was 
gone.
	"Don't count on it."  The dark-haired woman muttered.
	"Or else!"  She blinked at the threat and finally smiled.  Giving 
in was easier than fighting with Minako's whining afterwards, 
especially since they're on a case now and she couldn't exactly get 
away.
	Sighing in defeat she waved her friend off, "Hai, hai.  I'll be 
there!"  The other happily nodded, seeing the look of a half glare on 
her friend's face that always declared defeat.
	"Ja ne Rei-chan!  I'll see you there tomorrow!"  With that she 
was gone.
	"Tomorrow?  But tomorrow-!"  Rei fumed.  Oh, is her friend going 
to get it!

		*	*	*

	She slung on her jacket and a pack before grabbing her board.  
"Oh I'm going to be late!"  She raced down the hallways of the crystal 
palace and when she finally got out into the open she flipped her board 
on and jumped on to it.  "Hover mode."  She told mouthed, the red 
earring on her left ear winked as she hopped onto the floating board.  
"Grivatron on."  Her boots firmly established itself to the board.  A 
computer screen flipped before her as she zoomed out of the gates of 
the crystal palace and into Crystal Tokyo traffic.  It was a gift from 
Ami on her five hundred year birthday; she had just modified it to work 
with her hover board, the last remaining present from her last husband, 
Yuichiro.  He had given it to her at their last anniversary.  She still 
could recall how he beamed at it when she opened the gift.  Sighing 
slightly she shook her head clear of the thoughts that raced through her 
mind, nai, she would not reminisce about things long gone.  Her hover 
board flew down the walk ways of Tokyo, the tube like green plastic and 
steel walls created protection for rainy days and shades when it was 
sunny, another one of Ami's brilliant inventions.  Makoto helped in its 
construction though, she still remembered how her auburn-haired friend's 
first husband was the brilliant architect that helped build the city 
from the ruins of the deep sleep.
	She flipped open her left breast-pocket and took out the small 
lenses that Yui-chan always wore in his younger years and placed them on 
to the bridge of her nose.  The computer adjusted and the image map 
displayed itself on one lens as she zoomed down the side of the highway.  
Something caught her eye from behind and when she turned to look she 
found that it was empty, puzzled she turned back to the road and saw a 
golden haired man before her.  Too close!  "Watch out!"  She cried as 
the computer beeped a warning but she could not veer off course as the 
two collided.
	Her board flew to catch her, silver metallic wings expanded and 
she landed on it with a grunt from the impact even though it caught her 
in such a way as to lessen the force of her fall.
	"Watch where you're going!"  The golden man yelled before stopping 
abruptly in surprise.  Startled by the familiarity of the voice, she 
looked up to meet the fire-blue eyes that had been haunting her dreams 
for nights, dreams of the past, and even some dreams of the present 
times.
	"Hello Jadeite."  She replied calmly, masking her shock and her 
unease as she pushed herself off of the grounded hover and dusted her 
clothes with an air of aloofness.  She adjusted the lens that were still 
firmly attached on her nose and was for once thankful for the cover they 
gave her.
	"Rei."  He nodded in acknowledgement and bowed slightly.  Whether 
it was from habit of long ago or respect or maybe even mockery, she was 
not sure.  So she chose to ignore it as she kicked the tip of her hover 
board that immediately came back online and retracted its metallic 
wings.
	"Goodbye."  She said as she hopped on the board again, tapping her 
band to reactivate its functions and check for damages when it came up 
clear she re-administrated the gravitron and nodded in acknowledgement 
of his presence.  "Gomen ne for running into you!"  She yelled over her 
shoulder before she disappeared from sight.
	"Sayanora, to you too Rei...-chan."  He whispered as he watched 
her disappear from view.  The shadow fell upon him.  "I know.  I will 
retrieve her."

		*	*	*

	The rest of the royal court fidgeted again on the green lawn.  
"Are you sure you told Rei-chan that the picnic's today?"  Usagi asked 
for the twentieth time since they arrived.
	"Hai!  And if you ask me one more time Usagi-chan, Queen or not, 
you are dead meat!"  The golden-haired woman threatened menacingly as 
she looked to her friend.  The white-blond man beside her shook his head 
in amusement as she glared at Usagi from over his chest.  "I told her 
and she is going to be here...or she is going to be dead meat too!"  
Minako muttered the last part to herself as she clutched her one fist 
and waved it in front of her at some imaginary advisory.
	"Yare yare, you'd think that they'd have grown out of it by now."  
The dark colored cat sighed next to the white one.
	"Are you kidding me?  I never thought Minako could even get this 
far!"  A shoe hit the white cat as he fell over.
	"I heard that Artemis!"  The agitated voice of the blond-haired 
woman rang over the air with fervent hostility.
	"You do realize that insulting someone bigger than you is a bad 
idea Artemisu."  The dark cat grinned, chuckling softly under her breath 
at the comical picture that Artemis was making.
	"Never stopped you from nagging Usagi before."  The white cat 
muttered as he wobbled to all fours and sent a glare to both his mate 
and his former blond student.
	"Usagi-chan?  Try sleeping with her!  That's all the abuse I 
need!"  Luna yawned.
	"Hey!  I can't account for what I do when I'm sleeping!"  Usagi 
said trying to save face.
	"Back then you couldn't even account for what you did awake!"  
Artemis rolled his eyes, which earned him another whack over the head by 
a different shoe.  "There are laws against abusing pets you know?"  
Artemis said when he regained consciousness again.
	Everyone was still laughing when the dark-haired girl zoomed 
toward them and stopped in front of them.  "I'm here!"
	"Took you long enough!"  Minako huffed.
	"Yeah!"  Makoto joined in.  "You'd think that since I'm catering 
for this picnic it would make you want to arrive sooner!"
	"I did Mako-chan!"  Usagi told her as she engulfed another plate 
of goodies.
	"Michiru, ever wonder where all that food goes?"  Haruka asked, 
her eyes questioning her lover.
	"Such things are better left alone to the mysteries of life, 
Haruka."  The other replied with a sigh.  "Especially since it's Usagi-
chan we're talking about."  The aqua-haired woman added with smile and a 
sigh.
	Everyone turned to the Queen, the men, other than the King himself 
all looked surprised at the rate in which she ate.  The rest of them 
just looked exasperated.  All the while Makoto groaned inwardly, 
wondering why she even bothered to ask the question.
	"So what did I miss?"  Rei asked as she hopped down from her hover 
and only then did they notice that she didn't arrived in her usual 
hovercraft.
	"Na ni Rei-chan, where'd you get that?"  Ami asked as she looked 
to her friend.
	"Hai Rei-chan, it looks fast!"  Haruka piped up.  Her eyes gleamed 
with interest that is until Michiru poked her in the ribs with a look 
that spoke volumes.
	"I had this for centuries."  Rei said as she fondly petted the 
board.
	"How come I never saw it before?"  Minako whined.
	"Because...I don't know!"  Rei frowned and looked away.
	"Daijoubu Rei-chan?"  Usagi asked startled by the turmoil that 
raged within her friend's eyes.
	"Gomen!  It's just that...today is my wedding anniversary."  She 
smiled and turned to glance at the city.  All the senshi looked guiltily 
away, as Serenity and Endymion looked to each other worriedly but none 
was more confused then the men that just joined their group.
	"Wedding anniversary?"  Nephrite asked in surprise.  "I didn't 
realize you were married."  He trailed off thinking of the plans they 
had derived on getting the dark-haired woman with the blond man that 
should be beside her and sighed guiltily.  How come Makoto didn't tell 
him this?  He looked to his love but saw her shook her head sadly at his 
unspoken question.
	"Rei-chan?"  Michiru looked worriedly at the dark-haired woman.  
She knew that this was one topic that none of the inners were 
comfortable about discussing.
	"Yui-chan's dead if that's what you're asking."  The dark-haired 
woman finally answered with a smile.  Ignoring the worry in her aqua-
haired friend's voice as she looked to the even more surprised men.  
"But I don't mind you asking, he died a very long time ago."  She turned 
back to the view of city below her and smiled at the memories of long 
ago.
	Everyone fidgeted slightly.  The senshi and Endymion from surprise 
at how casually Rei put something that was so personal to herself out in 
the open and admitting it, and the men of the inners that knew they were 
stepping on a very delicate topic.  Something was definitely going on as 
they looked to one another worriedly before glancing back at the dark-
haired senshi.  She was unusually silent and staring down into the city, 
lost in another memory.
	Zoisite opened his mouth but then a tug on his sleeve stopped him 
as he encountered the sad blue eyes of Ami.  "Leave her be Zoisite-kun, 
we all have our own ghosts."  He nodded before his brain processed the 
meaning of her words.
	Who is her ghost?  What ghosts did she mean?

			*	*	*

	"Yui-chan what's the surprise?"
	"Uh-uh, don't you dare peek!"
	"Na ni!  But Yui-"
	"No.  Come on just follow me Rei-chan."
	"This better be good or I'll-"
	"I know, turn me into a bloody pulp and leave me by the side of 
the road."
	"Don't tease me!  I-"
	"I love you."
	"Yui-chan?"
	"Open your eyes!"
	"Oh my!"

	"Damnit, why won't you speak to me?"
	"Because I have nothing to say!"
	"Yui-chan!"
	"I love you Rei, but you never did love me!"
	"It's the age thing isn't it?"
	"No, it's you!"
	"Yui-chan!  I love-"
	"No one."
	"That is not true!"

	"This is the end isn't it?"
	"Yui-chan?"
	"I always loved you Rei."
	"Gomen."
	"Why?"
	"Because I could not make you immortal like me.  I left you to 
time...Because I couldn't save you."
	"No, you saved me Rei-chan."
	"Yui-chan."
	"You saved me from a life without you.  You're my fire Rei, my 
only light."
	"But I couldn't save you from death!"
	"You are not a god my Rei-chan.  You may be like them but you are 
not a god.  You were never cruel enough in your act to be one, you 
always felt more then your share of things no matter how hard you tried 
to hide it.  You were and always will be partially human.  I am glad of 
that."
	"Yui-chan?"
	"Rei, I love you."
	"I know. Yui?"
	"Hai?"
	"Will we meet again?"
	"I don't know.  Perhaps, perhaps not."
	"I will miss you, forever."
	"I just wish that you remember I love you, that is all. That and 
that I too am sorry."
	"Yui-chan, I did love you-  Na ni?  Sorry?  Sorry for what?"
	"Sorry that I could not make you as happy as you had made me.  
Sorry that I had hurt you sometimes because I was selfish."
	"Na ni Yui-chan?"
	"No.  I am but an old man and I am glad I still have your love."
	"To me you will always be my Yui-chan."
	"I am glad of that too.  Rei-chan?"
	"Hai?"
	"I love you...forever."
	"I know Yui-chan.  I always knew."
	"I'm so tired."
	"Then rest, it is time you rested."
	"I will miss you Rei."
	"...Not as much as I will you."
	His last breath escaped his lips at her last words and he died 
with a smile on his face.  For in the end he knew that she cared, more 
than she was ever willing to admit and he was glad that he at least was 
able to bask in a portion of her love.

	"What is this?"
	"It's called a Casablanca, it comes from Earth."
	"Earth?  You are from Earth?"
	"Hai.  It is time you know this much at least, my Princess."
	"Earth...?  I envy you."
	"Na ni?"
	"You are so free!  I wish I was like that."
	"Know this my lovely, you are the only thing that can set me 
free."
	"Love?"
	"Hai?"
	"Thank you for the flower.  It is...beautiful."
	"No, thank you my princess."
	"Na ni?"
	"Thank you for your smile."

					*	*	*

	She walked down the streets of Crystal Tokyo in silence.  The 
palace would've been a lot nicer but she still didn't feel like 
speaking to anyone at the moment.  Perhaps I'm jealous of their 
happiness, she thought gloomily, but then again being lonely had never 
bothered her before.  Everything is gone now.  Everything.  Even her 
crows, her seeming guardians, even their bodies decayed and died 
disappearing into the ground well leaving her behind to mourn, to 
grieve alone.
	"Rei?"  A whisper, but she caught the sound and her head snapped 
up in alarm.  This is getting to be a bad habit, she thought with a 
frown and took considerable trials to relax her tense muscles.
	"Hai.  Who's there?"  Her eyes searched the shadows that 
surrounded her but could find no one.  Am I going crazy now?  She 
wondered with another frown before shaking her head.  Iie.  I heard 
someone call my name.  She snapped her figures and a bright flame burst 
forth, she caught the sight of a shadow before it disappeared again.  
Frowning she glanced and discovered that the street was suddenly darker 
and her skin prickled with the feeling of evil.  The fire glowed 
brilliantly before it subsided, and there stood Rei in her senshi fuku.  
"Come out Mask, I know you're there!"  She growled softly into the 
shadows.
	A laugh drifted to her ear as she swirled around, body tense and 
ready.  Her mind reeled slightly as it sensed her surroundings to reek 
with this new evil and something old and ancient as well.  What is 
that?  "Sailor Senshi Mars, how nice that we meet again?"  She knew 
that voice, but from where?
	"Who are you?"  She twirled around again.
	"As you called me, Mask is now my name, I guess."  She could hear 
the mocking laughter within his voice.
	"What do you want?"  She snarled in anger.  Her eyes blazed in 
the darkness as her red aura of power begun to glow.
	"Oh?  Don't get mad now, beauty."  She felt her skin prickle at 
its words as silence stretched before it decided to continue.  "And as 
for want?  I only want what my owner desires."  Laughing and serious, 
evil yet not, what is this riddle that seems to play with her mind?  
	"Then who is your owner?"  She asked, trying to at least extract 
some information.
	"Owner?  He is here.  Why not ask him?"
	Her eyes widened in surprise as her aura began to dim from her 
lack of concentration.  A swirl of movement and she reacted immediately 
leaping with the superhuman strength that she had only discovered after 
the great sleep, one that she possessed as the rest of the senshi did 
as well.  One second later she turned her aura off, why tell the enemy 
where you are?  Her arm ached as she realized that she had been nicked 
by something very sharp.  He's fast.  She'd have to watch herself more 
carefully.
	She felt a shifted within the air and called upon her wards.  She 
silently put the essence of her fire within the little papers she held 
within her hand and soon flashes of red flew across the darkness 
lighting it finding the crux of evil, the core.  The figure shrieked in 
pain as its body glowed as red as the fires that she held.  Its long 
sword plunged into the ground, cutting cement, as its owner withered in 
pain as the wards scorched him and bound him motionless.  She had 
already moved moments before, for one should never stay still in 
battle.  It's safer to be a moving target, for this thing wasn't like 
the idiotic youma warriors that she used to fight in the old days, 
before the birth of Crystal Tokyo.
	"Fire-" She swirled her body as her aura flared with avenging 
power, "Wall!"  And created a barrage of flames that moved outwards, 
lighting the way and breaking away the darkness.  The Mask fell to this 
onslaught and slumped to the ground.
	"Rei-chan."  She jumped and flipped away before realizing that it 
was not her enemy.
	"Minako-chan!  If you do that one more time you just might end up 
being charred toast and believe me you were this close to getting it!"  
She said angrily as she looked to her friend who stood but a few feet 
away.  She suddenly felt warm arms wrapped around her waist as her feet 
left the ground.
	"Rei."  Suddenly another hooded figure appeared behind her, 
sighing her name as he wrapped his arms around her.  For once in her 
life she could not move.  Her heart nearly stopped and she began to 
panic, not that she could do much but her eyes widened in surprise as 
her lips parted in a silent gasp.
	"Don't you dare hurt her buster or you are going to get fried by 
Lady Love!"  Minako posed with a frown, she really should stop with the 
corny speeches.  Artemis used to always sigh when she finished, though 
most of the time she did it just for the heck of it and the other time 
just to gauge a reaction from her cat.
	The hooded figure didn't even seem to acknowledge the golden 
senshi and tightened its arms around the dark-haired woman.  Venus 
looked confused for even the worst of enemies would never ignore her 
because she was a threat, a nuisance at worst.  A dark aura bent itself 
from around the figure and suddenly the memory struck her, he was there 
when she split the mask that covered Kunzite's face.  "You!"  Her wings 
expanded from her back when she saw the aura coming toward her and 
leapt into the sky.  "Shimatta!"  Golden light smashed toward the 
hooded figure that held her friend within his arms but it could not 
penetrate the dark-crimson dome that surrounded the two.  "Na ni!"
	He laughed as he raised his face to her.  The white gleaming mask 
was unmistakable this time.  "Senshi Venus, you are too late.  I have 
my prize."
	Mars' aura though was burning deep red, pulsing deep within her 
as she let it engulf her.  "Mars Power!"  Her mind screamed but she 
could not make her lips move to this incantation.  Nothing happened.  
Her eyes widened in surprise as she heard his mocking laughter.  Iie!  
How can this be?  She cannot be beaten like this!  She cannot die this 
helplessly!
	"You cannot destroy me Mars!  I have what you most desire!"  The 
mask snarled at her leeringly before he turned back to the startled 
golden senshi.  "You will not take her away from me again!  Say goodbye 
Senshi Venus!"  With that he promptly disappeared leaving the streets 
empty and silent.
	"Rei-chan!"  Venus screamed as she raced toward where they last 
were.  "Iie!  Rei-chan!"  She looked desperately around, willing this 
to be a joke.  Hoping that her friend would pop up and laugh at her for 
falling for it.  There was no answer to her plea.  "Come back!  Give 
back my Rei-chan!"  But though the darkness disappeared, the silence 
carried on and she was left with her grief and her guilt.

			*	*	*

To be continued...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Suspense, suspense....lalala!  I know, I know!  You're all going FINALLY!  See, I got desperate
and REALLY needed to write a romance which is so close in coming in On the Enemy's Side
that I just couldn' take it anymore!  So I decided to finish this!  The romantic comedy that
started my career as a fanfic writer.  That and V-chan's been bothering me about it since
I was able to talk to her.  Thank her since she hadn't shut up about it since we met!
*grumbles under her breath*

Anyho, I admit, it's NOT my best work, but I revised it a few times, the story plot, who gets
who, how they feel, etc.  So this one was a lot of work!  Yuk!  I hate work, but I FINALLY
finished it!  I know I originally said I was going to do the Outers too, but I got lazy
and Outers got plenty of spot light in OTE, so I kinda got lazy and skipped it.
Maybe one day...*trails off with stars in her eyes* but for now, deal with the bleakness
of not having them here.  (Haruka and Michiru...*sigh* they're so kawii together!  I'm
so in Hopless Romantic 101!!)  Anyho, hope that you enjoyed it!

Ja ne!

PS.  You can reach me at:	blue@icedream.f2s.com