*****WARNING***** The following message contains content unsuitable for the sane, disabled, childish, and otaku-ly. Reading will cause irrevocable damage to creative capibilities, sex-drive, and gasteral tract. The author is no part responsible for any silly expresses frozen on readers' faces. Oh, and have a nice day ************************ All it's been lately is school, school, school.... With the little time I had, I did it writing on Terrible Things... Finally, I got this thing called sleep... The infinite silence scared me.... I nearly went mad... So to let you lovely people know I'm not quite dead yet, I offer you this short fic... +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+ PG-13 Bastion's Special aka: A Tall Glass of Weird Served Icy Cold "I know now who committed this devious act." Holmes paced about his private den, confidently puffing on his pipe. He had his suspect right where he wanted him, and he was going to expose this criminal like a white skin albano spamming troll to the harsh reality of the ouside world. "It was..." Holmes had learned the fine chinese art of extending his climax, so his partners could experience more joy from the sensation. "The butler!" Holmes pointed his slender finger directly at the fopish, balding man in the Cliche Butler Outfit #2 (tm) sitting in audience with him. The Butler stammered. "But, but-" Holmes would have none of it. "But my ass. You commited this grievious crime and for that you must be punish!" The Butler's eyes filled with horror as he saw Holmes take out an object from his pocket. "No. No, anything but that!" Holmes threw the henshin stick over his head. "ENGLISH SPICE POWER!" In a dazzling display of lights, glitter, and other fantsy special effects, Holmes turned into a rather busty, cute young girl in a scandalously short skirt and constricting bodice, one that most men would drool over, but since this is a PC fic, a man must view women as people and not objects.... Mmmmm, objects argghhhhhhhh . "I am Spicy Loon! And in the name of all the Loons, I will punish you!" The girl stuck a few obscene poses before taking a dramatic one. The Butler shook his head in disbelief as he noticed something black snake around the girl's body. The girl grinned the Cute Girl in the Short Skirt Grin (tm) and raised her hand. "LICKERISH WHIP ZIP!" 'I do hope does eventually get over this fetish of his.' The Butler thought just moments before the sweet crack of the whip hit his backside. 'I'm not enjoying it like I used to...' *ian-d* I am one disturbed individual. All comments and questions about my crack dealer are welcomed. Now, I must say goodnight. My toes are getting tired from typing.... . Bastion bastion@ix.netcom.com ----------------------------------- Appearing at an A-Kon near you.