Cry Not for The Moon By Echo-chan Email: HuntressBliss@excite.com! Cry Not for The Moon It doesn't matter. Not at all. The future is all that matters. Not me, not my love, not even my friends. This loneliness in my heart, that only one can fill, it too, matters not. It never mattered I loved another. The future, my destiny, is all that matters now. I look at my sleeping lover next to me, closed eyes and smiling lips. Yes, i do love the person next to me, but not enough. Together, we will build the future, rule over the peaceful planet Earth, side by side forever. One day, we will even have a child, my lover and I. Again I look upon the shining face next to me. So innocent. My sweet love has no idea the pain in my heart, the one only another can ease away. I want to protect the one next to me, so everyday I go on, acting as though there is nothing wrong. I smile, I laugh, I pretend I'm fine. But I'm not. Far from it! I'm not fine in anyway! But I pretend, I have too. If I didn't, the others would notice. The senshi. Poor senshi. They too, are deprived of those they loved. But they had a choice. Join their lovers and Beryl, or stand for their Princess. They choose their Princess. The Generals choose Beryl, but they choose Serenity. At least they *had* a choice. I have none. I must do what is right, do what I was born to do. Yes, I will go on, even without my secret love. A sigh I hear from beside me, my lover dreaming happily of the day we shall marry. Tears sting my eyes as the guilt overwhelms me. I'm so sorry. I do love you, I do. But not like my other. No, not like that. My other, my sweet secret love, kept hidden in my heart. Destiny separated us, but destiny's binds us together, my secret love and I. My eyes wander to the stars. 'Are you looking at the same stars as I, my love?' I ask. A silent tear flushes my face. 'Are you happy where you are? Or do you feel the same emptiness as I?' I slip out of bed, careful not wake the body next to me. The window seal is cool against my hands as I lean towards the starlit sky. 'I miss you so. I could never tell you how much you meant to me, because of Fate.' I feel more tears fall from my blue eyes, the loneliness in my soul aching to be filled by you. 'Do you miss me, Love? Do you remember me at all?' I try not to sob as I watch the sky. One day, I will rule the Earth. My Destiny I cannot escape. I didn't want to love you. I wanted to love my future spouse. I even thought I did love the one in my bed. But then, then you walked into my life and turned it upside down. Why, oh cruel Fate? Why? I could have gone on believing I loved the one asleep on my pillow. But then, I met you. Fate! Why torment me so?! I sob softly, praying my lover will not hear. My eyes again return to the heavens. A smile creeps onto my face as a star flies by in the night sky. A wish I will make, one I pray to come true. Maybe someday, Destiny will set us free, and again i can return to your soft embrace. Aishiteru, Seiya. I'm sorry Mamo-chan, I'm sorry I didn't love you enough. I'm sorry. Aishiteru, my Seiya-chan...