FUNNY YOU SHOULD ASK
by aircompass

DISCLAIMER: I don't own SailorMoon, I just like creating
unofficial events that further complicate the lives of the characters.
In other words, I write fanfiction, so don't sue. :)

I have a destiny.
I don't know how much of a destiny it is, but it's been a thousand
years since my last. How far ago it spans, I have no idea. It could be
millions of years, or for the last two lifetimes I have had. My destiny 
is to finish what my previous life left unfinished, and I wonder, have 
I had other lives like it?
Do I sound unhappy? 
What is unhappy? If you define unhappy by dissatisfaction, turmoil
and utter confusion, and you say I am all of these things, I would
have to say...
You may be right.
I am not as oblivious or pathetic as everyone thinks I am. The truth
is I know much more than you think I do. 
In this lifetime, I am consumed by my darkness.
It's not as bad as you think. My darkness is a comfort to me, there 
is more shelter there than in the light of others. But in my 
darkness, I am alone. And that is the only thing that forces me to
come out of it. 
And that is why my soul belongs to my angel. 
My Usako, my princess. She is the only serenity to match my 
chaos. If I had a hundred lifetimes, I am certain that for all of them
I sought to have her with me. You and I both know that I would
give up everything, ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING, if only to have a
moment with her in my arms. And I would not hesitate.
My soul needs her light, and no one else's but hers. 
Her radiance doesn't shatter or interrupt the shadow world I
spent so long locked up in. Her sunshine brings a new comfort,
a new understanding and somehow she understands why I
sometimes need to return to my shadows.
Do I love her?
It's funny you should ask that. But, since you did, I like you
very much already. It's easy to assume you love someone just
because they give you something no one else can. Because
you have a need for them. Do you know how many times I
have thought about this?
When we had just started together, I often thought that 
PERHAPS, perhaps I misunderstand. Maybe I don't love her
the way I should in a relationship like ours. But now that I have 
spent a hundred fifty years with her, I know the answer. 
I have craved her, and her alone as herself, as Usagi, as Usako,
 since, well, I can hardly remember. I have loved her for just a few 
days short of that. The thing is, I had felt what she felt and I loved 
her for being exactly who she was. I only realized just how much I 
loved her when I met her and when we began our ritualistic 
arguments, I realized just how much I needed her. 
I need her because I love her.
So do I love her? You know the answer to that. 
And what about Rei? That's kinda funny you would bring that up
as well. What you're really asking is if I loved her at all, or merely 
used her to get Usako. You would like that, wouldn't you? To be 
able to prove just how much embittered and evil I am, how
easily I am swayed by the  "other side". You want to know the truth?
I loved Rei.
The thing is, Rei had her own shadows to deal with and she wanted 
to share my own. Rei couldn't even sort through her own realms, let 
alone my labyrinth. We would have never ever...well, our time together 
as a couple was meant to end. 
We were great friends, personally, there couldn't be anything more
than that. In her heart, she knew that.

You say I am still unhappy. 
Maybe I am.
And you're probably thinking, shouldn't I be satisfied with that?
Yes, Usako makes me happy. She makes everything almost as
beautiful as she is. But sometimes, I find myself tired of this 
existence. It's exhausting to know that I will always owe something 
to this world. 
It isn't that my life isn't rewarding. It is. I just get sick of dealing with it.
Tell me the truth. Don't YOU get tired of being yourself?
Funny I should ask you...

end.