Stars Of light Chapter 3 (revised) By Adrienne Homepage at http://members.tripod.com/~Elsha/index.html Any comments, ideas or suggestions are welcome so E-mail me! Hey readers! Well I just wanted to warn you that this episode is rather violent and gory. In this chapter I am attempting to show that everyone has a certain limit to what they can take. Like could our emotions go so far as to control our actions or take us to the peak where we can think or control ourselves no longer. So yeah that's what I am trying to get here so our main character *Usagi* might get a little... Okay a hell of a lot out of character... Also for vocabulary ?Gomen? Means sorry ?Hai? means yes and ?ne? is like eh. Chapter 3 Sailormoon lifted her head from her hands and pushed herself off the cement floor. Her face was neither grim nor sad, eyes were a devoid of emotion. Then a spark of rage shone in her eyes and a glint of determination as she saw the young man howling with laughter. Her friends looked at her speechless not knowing what to say. Usagi ran up to the man, standing merely a few meters away from her gloating deadly opponent. She vaguely heard the muffled cries of her friends as they discovered they were stuck and couldn't move. Alex gestured at the group of girls and the two cats behind her. "You are nothing without them, any chance you had is lost now, You are worthless." He said mockingly as he grinned menacingly at her thinking to instill fear. "I am Sailormoon and by killing my love you have killed my soul. This act cannot go unpunished," she said her voice deadly quiet filled with uncontrollable madness. She pointed at him trembling "For Mamo-chan I will gladly rip out your heart out as you have done to mine. Tiara action!" She screamed her voice unusually shrill. Sailormoon grabbed her tiara and threw it at the fiend. Alex put his hand up and stopped the tiara a breath away from his hand and he plucked it out of the air. He doubled over laughing hysterically at her seemingly petty attempt. Sword in the right hand and her tiara grasped in the other were waved around as he pretended the inanimate objects were fighting each other. A sudden gleam of triumph and scorn filled Sailormoon's eyes as she yelled "Tiara trap him!" Alex gasped and his eyes widened as he felt the metal enlarge and tried repeatedly to throw the tiara to the ground. For a moment he believed he had achieved his attempt and he drew his sword over his head to slice it in half. When it suddenly circled itself around his waist, he dropped his sword letting out a harsh breath. Feeling the metal slowly squeeze him, he felt ripples of power surging through the object around him as it began to grow smaller. He realized Sailormoon was controlling the tiara with her mind and he began to concentrate on expanding it. He tried but failed and knew it the moment he felt the metal cut slowly through his skin. Alex screamed in agony and pain losing control of all thoughts and concentration. The other senshi and the cat guardians were let go from his power as he cried out. They all ran towards Sailor moon Sailor mercury arrived slightly ahead of the others waving her mini computer. "The ray..." she began but drifted off as she saw the transfixed expression and the sadistic smile plastered on Sailormoon's face. Venus, Jupiter, and the cats saw the boy struggling and writhing in the air. They looked at Sailormoon. "You're killing him!" they all repeated to her over and over trying to talk some sense into her. Sailor Venus yelled at Sailormoon and lightly slapped her. "Mamoru-san wouldn't have wanted it this way," Sailor Jupiter yelled and made an attempt to knock her friend out of her hypnotic state, slapping Sailormoon with all her force. Sailormoon was thrown to the floor with such force that she skidded on her bum. Yet she did nothing but kept her concentrated look at her tiara concentrating with the same expression on her face as before. "Usagi please stop," Venus pleaded kneeling beside her friend. "The ray will set him normal it isn't his fault," Sailor Mercury entreated. "It's too late..." Luna whispered as she watched the boy collapse to the ground in two. She had watched the gruesome sight while they had all fixed their attention away. The others looked back yet even seeing the boy dead they could still hear his terrible screams ringing in their ears. Breaking the silence Sailormoon suddenly began to giggle and put her hand to her mouth and got up idiotically. Walking over to the body of Alex she pushed passed the people that were in her way. Approaching the split figure, ribs protruding out turned from his flesh. The boy had choked on his own blood she concluded seeing the look of horror and pain etched on his face. Sailormoon bent and stuck her hand through his upper half moving through the sticky blood and intestines. The senshi stood horrified as did Artemis seeing this but only Luna stood away alone. Finding what she wanted through the warm yet fast turning cold mass she grabbed it and turned towards Tuxedo Kamen. "For you," she laughed madly happy then tears sprang out of her eyes and her happy inane laughter turned to that of grief and pain. "Why?" she said to no one yet condemning fate for this joke. "We were supposed to be together forever", she sobbed her body trembling as she lay against his fallen figure. Sailormoon placed her forehead near his chest and the present she bore him? Alex's heart a symbolic gesture of what she had lost, her innocence, heart love and soul. "If" she thought to herself "if anything she had been or done had any meaning at all... * * * * * Usagi lay on the mattress Naru had brought up. Luna who lay beside her asleep mumbled to herself and Usagi noted how the small crescent moon on the cat?s forehead flickered when the moonlight hit it. Funny how she had regained her memory from it, leading her into this life of hollowness Usagi thought bitterly. Deeply sighing she moved on through her random thought and reflected on the events that had happened merely a few days ago. She had been unable to utter a word to her friends as they had quietly approached not knowing what to say. Usagi had just laid on Mamo-chan's chest until Luna came up and told her they had better get going and not waste time. The familiar scolding made her heart light as though nothing had happened. The knowledge that Luna understood had made her cry fresh new tears. When Luna had come forward nudging Usagi on her shoulder, she showed in her own way that she was concerned. Usagi got up and lifted Luna passing by her speechless friends who stared as though she were alien or foreign to them. Usagi had felt different as though they wouldn't or couldn't understand her. The fact was when she had been killing Alex in her transfixed state, she remembered vividly how murdering the boy had been like. It was as if someone had taken over her body after the state of shock had passed. Her fixed emotional rage had set her apart and she could only watch as she killed him. What really scared her, though she had been a slave to her emotions was the Rush, Contentment, and pure glory when she knew that Alex was dead. She reasoned that the monster that had enjoyed getting revenge couldn't be her, she had never been like that. She shivered at the memory and sighed to herself, a slight shiver ran up her spine and she wondered if her act had sullied the memory of her love or her soul permanently. After leaving with Luna, Usagi went to Naru's house bloodied and messed up yet again. This time Naru asked no questions but hurried and set the warm water running. Naru was the best of friends and had taken good care of her. "hell, you take care of me so much I might as well marry you!" Usagi had joked to Naru and they both laughed. Naru was relieved Usagi's humour had returned although slight as it may be. It was a good beginning for shaking off the turmoil and sadness her friend was surely in. Usagi was still deep in her thoughts depressed, for even though she had cleaned up. She could still feel the sticky blood upon her skin and sometimes she imagined she could see blood running down her hands. Usagi wondered what the others were thinking. Feeling tears moisten her eyes she chided to herself that there had been enough tears and no more would be spilled from her. She sat up, careful not to disturb Luna as she went to the window glancing at the moon above. Her future was bleak with despair and morbid thoughts filled her mind. Pain seemed to etch the time and she couldn't shake off what she had done or the utter guilt she felt. Usagi's heart ached as though a dull knife repeatedly stabbed itself within her chest. She went back to the mattress and tucked herself in the covers and closed her eyes a brief time where there would be blissfully nothing at all. * * * * In the morning Usagi decided again to go to the hospital to see how the other senshi were doing. Naru had to go to help her mom at the store and Artemis had beeped and told her some of the senshi had regained consciousness from time to time. Artemis really didn't say anything much than that but asked how Usagi was doing and beeped out not looking as if he really cared how she had answered. Usagi hurt at his obvious rebuff went into the room to see if anyone was awake. Haruka was sitting up looking out of the window, slightly pale but okay. Several bandages had been removed letting unhealed wounds have easy access to air. Haruka turned as she heard the door open creaking slightly. Usagi moved forward kneeling by the bed. "Little odango atama how's it going?" Haruka teased. "My name is Usagi as well you know Haruka-san!" Usagi giggled punching her injured friend lightly on the shoulder. "Ouch," Haruka winced rubbing her shoulder and rolling around in her small bed. "Oh no! I?m so sorry!" Usagi apologized afraid she had hurt Haruka. Haruka opened one eye and looked up to see the worried expression on Usagi?s face. She began to laugh hard but stopped as it enhanced the painful feeling that ran up her body. "That wasn't very funny," Usagi grumbled propping her shoulders up upon the bed as she realized Haruka was just playing around. "Gomen," Haruka chuckled but didn't look like she meant it. "So I hear you had no trouble dealing with one of the new enemies," said Haruka immediately sobering up. Usagi noticed how tactfully Haruka had avoided the word 'killing'. Grateful of that she let out a breath of relief that she wouldn't have to talk around the subject. "Yeah it's been on my mind as of late," Usagi replied. "It gets easier as time goes by," Haruka replied casually brushing her hair back from her eyes. "I don't want it to get easier! I never want to do what I did ever again!" Usagi yelled getting up. "It's a wiser way to get rid of the enemy but if you want to endanger any more of us that's fine by me," Haruka said her tone changing suddenly cold. Usagi's expression softened and she knelt back by the bed. "No, you don't understand my emotions controlled me that day, my heart and dreams are what I should follow." "Is there any difference between your emotions and your heart? Your dreams for all people to become good are unrealistic and childish," Haruka condescendingly said. "You are wrong even if you say that you still have faith and belief in your dreams, have you taken a look at your brooch?" Haruka asked already knowing the answer. Usagi looked down not seeing anything unusual but felt a sudden impulse to look inside and when she opened it she gasped. The Ginzuishou was no longer a clear crystal white but was tinged slightly gray. "Don't worry, it still works," Haruka said allowing time for Usagi's shock to fade into acknowledgment. "It brings to mind the way people think about black being a colour evil and white symbolizing good ne?" "Are you saying I'm evil?" Usagi said dumbly as she stared at her changed Crystal. Haruka sighed as she explained. "You're in the middle, neither totally good nor totally bad. It doesn't matter really, no one can grow up and stay being purely good." Haruka shrugged indifferently. "How did you know about this?" Usagi whispered to Haruka still staring at the Ginzuishou not really listening. "We all felt it within us, the shock is what woke us out of our comas," Haruka yawned out. "Nani?" Usagi squeaked out as she looked at Haruka and turned to look at Michiru, Setsuna, Hotaru, and Rei who were still sound a sleep. Dazedly Usagi got up and turned to leave her feelings and thoughts flitting chaotically. "Usagi," Haruka said as she propped her head up with her arms and stared at the ceiling. "Yes?" Usagi asked standing in front of the door. "Although the inner senshi don't understand you, they still love you as their good friend. Talk to them before it's too late. Hell, try to return their phone calls as much as it might make you uneasy or else you'll lose them." Haruka said. "It's happened to me before and I understand" Haruka added lulling to sleep. "Hai?" Usagi replied turning the door knob opening and slowly closing the door letting herself out. She felt the aching in her heart not bad but good. Although she had a lot to think about her heart eased knowing someone had done what she had done, she knew someone who understood... * * * * * Usagi had gone and taken her stuff from Naru's house and walked home alone. Her mother gave her the various phone messages from Mina, Makoto, and Ami. She acknowledged hearing them from her mom with a brief nod and hugged her mom. She ran upstairs throwing her things on the floor and sighed flinging herself on the bed. Sighing with happiness at the familiar surroundings and scents from her room she began to nap. A rapping came at the door and she sat up. "Who is it?" Usagi asked. "It's your mom Usa-chan," Her mother said using her child name. Usagi threw her legs off the bed and opened the door. "I forgot to give you this it came yesterday through the mail," Ikuko mama said handing Usagi a white manila envelope. A bewildered expression crossed Usagi's face as she was handed the envelope. Ikuko left closing the door behind her as her daughter mumbled a thanks. Usagi opened the envelope and her hands began to tremble as she read.

Dear Miss Tsukino, It is with great sadness that we inform you of the death of a friend you once knew. Mr. Chiba Mamoru was recently taken away from us. We know this must be a great shock to you and we were only recently informed that you were on his medical list as the first person to contact as close family. Upon hearing this we immediately postponed the funeral knowing you would want attend being as close as you obviously were. Chiba Mamoru?s tragic death shocked us all, especially since he was taken from us so soon. We will be gathered to mourn his sad passing at Hikory place at 4:30 p.m. Saturday the 12th and we would be honoured if you came. Sincerely, GTC corporations and friends of the late Mr. Chiba Mamoru

Usagi was rather shocked that those people had considered to invite her going so far as to extend the date of the funeral for her. Nary a thought of Mamo-chan's funeral entered her mind. She understood that the company he had been working for had paid for the funeral expenses although it wasn't written down she felt saddened. He had died practically a pauper which disturbed Usagi since they had, had such high expectations for the future. Usagi shook her head violently, the future had obviously changed and she had to forget anything she had presumed from the past. She should have known that the future she was told and saw was too good to be true. Perhaps she had lost Mamoru because she had based her life on that future. Maybe it was because she had been given a false sense of security that they didn't hurry their relationship believing they had centuries and perhaps eons to spend with each other. Usagi understood that Mamoru was dead and that was reality. Yet she couldn't help feeling the longing and hope that Mamo-chan would miraculously come back. She crumpled the invitation tossed it on the floor. The funeral was today, her mind moving fast as she searched through her closet for something black. She put on a small black dress short to a certain extent but modest. She left the house to her mother's surprise and slammed the door shut upon her leaving. Usagi arrived half an hour early and sat in the pews. After a few hours all the people eventually left. Usagi stood up and walked calmly to the coffin and brushed her fingers against the wood. Mamoru's body was covered but his face was revealed and Usagi sighed in relief. His face although pale looked so peaceful and happy. "Mamo-chan if you can hear me?"Usagi began brokenly clasping her right hand to her brooch, "I'm so confused, what am I? Who am I?" she said. Would she kill another out of rage and spite? Perhaps out of revenge? Was she a callous monster bent on destruction? These unspoken questions flit across her mind. Suddenly a man rushed through the door falling on the floor gasping. "There's a woman outside attacking people run while you can!" He uttered his face pale and his eyes were wide with fear. Usagi gasped as the man in front of her fainted. "Moon Eternal Make Up!" Sailormoon cried out and ran to the scene, her mind wandering on and on what she should do. She stopped abruptly as she was confronted with something she didn't expect. Sailor Venus in the clutch of the woman's hand and the other senshi stuck where they were. "Ah Sailormoon! Just the person I was waiting for," the woman laughed strangling Sailor Venus. "Since you defeated me the last time it's only fair if I kill you this time ne?" The evil woman named Cleo laughed tossing her black hair back. "But then again you feel so bloody guilty don't you? Never having killed anyone in your life. Innocence is weak and your obsession of trying to be good sickens me. Why do you try to act better than the rest? Do you think anybody appreciates it? Or maybe you think your better, better than everyone else with a higher purpose in life and a glorious destiny that no one else has. All in all I have to say you?re rather pathetic because you know what? After this is over no one will ever remember hearing the name Sailormoon ever!" The woman laughed harshly as she squeezed Sailor Venus's throat tighter. Usagi stood her ground watching her friend dangling in the air struggling furiously and whimpering for air. She clenched her hand ?what the hell was she supposed to do? she wondered. "So what's it gonna be? Do you value your friend's life more than you do your stupid beliefs and morals? Cause you know if you kill me you're morals are... How do I put this nicely??? Worth shit all!" Black hair moved in the wind as the woman laughed a laugh that didn't belong to her. Usagi remembered that laugh it was the laugh of the person who had killed her Mamo-chan it was the voice that must pay. Usagi stared hard and attacked the lady who obviously was too busy goading to pay attention. Cleo yelped and pushed Sailor Venus aside trying to escape the blast that was directed to her. She failed but was surprised that she barely felt the hit at all. Cleo was suddenly struck by a blue ray and her mind screamed out that what she was doing was not right. "This is right," A whisper in her head told her. "What could be wrong with this? These people who think they are better than others?" the voice said stronger as it began to take claim of her yet again. 'No not again' she thought and pushed out all her past feelings out. "NO!" The voice screamed and Cleo could feel dark energy forced out of her body and dropped to the ground weak. "You made the right choice Sailormoon," Sailor Mercury putting away her computer. "So now we know it's effective," Sailor Venus spoke her voice was raw. "I just really wished we hadn't been stuck so I could have kicked some ass" Jupiter ground out. Sailormoon knelt by Cleo. "Thank you Sailormoon for believing in me," Cleo whispered as she blacked out. "No, thank you for saving my soul," Sailormoon whispered gratefully and got up. Her brooch suddenly hummed and disappeared. The Ginzuishou floated in the air losing it's darkened sheen reverting to the crystal clear colour it had been before. Everyone gasped as the ring on Usagi's finger melted and encircled the crystal and a chain appeared and they attached themselves together. Their Henshi sticks hummed and the power that was bestowed to them came into being. Far away they felt and knew that their friends at the hospital had fully recovered and would be waiting to see them soon. "Shall we go?" Mina asked everyone as they detransformed. "you guys go ahead I have to do something," Usagi said backing away and waving good bye happily to her friends. The graveyard was pretty empty and the gravediggers were just about to bury Mamoru's casket. Usagi asked the workers if they could give her a moment and they agreed standing away and talking to each other. Usagi knelt down staring at the coffin and she smiled and pulled a white rose she had taken from her garden. "Thank you Mamoru for helping me find myself," she whispered letting her tears spill out, she walked over and threw the white rose on the casket and left. Though they was destined to have had many years together Usagi didn't regret loving nor did she wish they had never met. Their love had traversed through death itself and she would love and remember him forever.