Usagi sighed happily as she stared at the reflection she cast on the lake. It was all she could do not to scream out her jubilation to the world. It was rather strange, really, that she should feel this way, where things were still confusing and vague. Yet, it was so... nice, thinking of those things... She closed her eyes and lay down on the wooden surface of the lakeside dock. She let her thoughts wander for a while as she relaxed on the beams of sunshine escaping the trees like jewels. Yes, it was the right time to think, in a place where she was fully relaxed and at peace. Memories briefly passed her mind as she started holding the sense of calm within her. They were funny, happy memories she had learned to cherish. And now, the feeling of joy surged within her as she remembered... A distinct voice sounded through her thoughts and she haplessly grinned. 'Odango Atama!' the male voice in her head shouted, and she saw herself turning back, looking very irritated, 'Mamoru-Baka!' she would scream back to counter his verbal assault. There was that smile in his face... And the thoughts continued... throwing failed test papers, annoying remarks, and... the play. 'You're being to nice,' the words she had said ringing to in her ears, 'I believe in you,' the dark, brooding look in his eyes as he said those words. The sweet kiss... The Virtual Shootout Center, the teasing words, the taunts, and the way he held her arms... how he whispered words to her ear, so soothing, so beautiful... 'I will always remember...' She had such a memorable time. And of course, the 'Manami Event,' where she found out of his trust, the past, and at the same time immensely enjoyed herself, along with him at it. The emotions she had seen, and felt, throughout those times, they were indescribable, and, seemingly in some ways, impossible. Her hand unconsciously drew out the locket he had given her from her pocket. Slowly tracing her hands over it, a sweet melody filled the air, making the moment complete. She savored the music and let it reach her soul as the thoughts continued. He said he trusted her, thus leaving all her doubts away. Whatever it was that he kept, he will reveal in due time. There was a promise formed, showing them a bright revelation of something to be hoped for, something big, beautiful, and soul searing. Thus making them both feel content at what they had for the moment. "To remember the truth," she whispered through her closed lids. The words striking a deep impact within her. Time will reveal the truth to her, and, maybe, then, she would soon be happy. "Mamoru-chan, do you really love me?" she half whispered. He cared, she knew that. But when she was with him, somehow, he had triggered something in her, making her feel... complete in some ways. She didn't know what to feel about it, herself. She slowly drew nearer to him, he made her very happy. Despite the many obstacles, the hate, the age, the other people, the whole situation seemed right. There was that something about him again, that baka! The mystery of it all caught up with her, and her eyes snapped wide. She gasped, "What about me, do I love you?" ~~~ To Remember the Truth Part 6 - Walk Away By Annabelle Author's Notes, Disclaimer, Rating found at the bottom ~~~ "Oh DEAR, I'm gonna be LATE!" she shrieked as she dove to her bathroom. Her cat only rolled her eyes at the foot of her bed. Within several minutes, Usagi emerged from the bathroom and directly went downstairs, bolting out of the door without much time. Not minding her mother's reminding words... "Hate this! First: silly daydreams, second: very hard questions, harder than last week's Math test, third: I'm late again and lastly, I forgot my breakfast. What in the world is happening to me this week?" she muttered as she ran further. 'Normality?' Shingo's voice echoed in her mind, and she grew more irritated. "Odango Atama! It seems that you are early today, what happened? What spell was cast upon you?" She halted in her hot tracks and slowly turned to the teasing voice - she'd know THAT sound anywhere. She then tried hard not to reveal that huge smile wanting to well up on her face, or that blood creeping into her cheeks... She focused on what he had said, gasping as she realized that she was somehow fooled, "Early??" she asked Mamoru, who was walking up to her. He smiled, and she tried -really tried- not to blush or to stare. "It's seven-thirty, Usagi. And it seems strange seeing you here at this time of the day." "SEVEN-THIRTY?" she asked incredulously. She looked at her wristwatch, surely indeed, it was seven-thirty. "But -- how? Mama? I bet it was Shingo, he fooled around with my alarm clock again. Imagine the thirty minutes lost to me, I could have slept more! I'll get him for this!" His grin grew wider, 'No, blame Luna for that. Of course you don't know about the real capabilities of your pet...' "Look on the bright side, Odango. You're early, you won't get detention - that is, if you don't stay late on purpose." She gave him a smug look, "You're teasing me again, you baka! If it weren't for that chocolate cake, I would have strangled you already, you oaf!" He grew happy at the mention of the chocolate cake they had both eaten in his apartment yesterday, as a celebration for their success on Manami. "Hah, then do so, my lady, for I would rather die than live in the misery of my love unrequited." Usagi looked puzzled for a moment, but after a few seconds, he noticed a rose blush forming on her cheeks. Immediately, she felt one of his own filling his awed face. 'Love unrequited?' she thought nervously. Her cheeks were flaming, she knew that well. 'What was that supposed to mean?' Oh, darn, blushing is such a hated thing. I know. 'But he's blushing, too. Oh, gosh...' Blushing, curse that word, curse that action, curse that noun, curse that verb... Summoning all of her strength, she tried to answer him in her normal tone, but her "Ha! Very funny..." trailed out as a whisper. "Oh really?" he countered, after a few seconds of staring silence, a soft reply followed it, barely so audible "I didn't think so." Her head snapped up, and she internally gasped. Oh! She felt redder than Rei's favorite pair of shoes. But immediately when she looked up, Mamoru - who seemed in a stupor- started apologizing. "Oh- Er, I mean, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking well. Hey, maybe you were rubbing your silliness on me!" She knew he didn't mean that and smiled 'Mamoru-chan, you're the corniest person alive,' "You just can't find anything to say, Baka!" "Ha!" She started punching him on the shoulder, "Liar! Rude guy!" "You're going to be late, if we keep this up. Not that I mind, really," he said jokingly, not even flinching from her repetitive assault of punches. Was he just teasing her or was he flirting? She immediately tried to look at her watch to hide the next blush. "Oh! I hate it when you're right (about the "I don't mind" phrase, ouch!) - I'm going to be late soon." She was trying hard not to be noticed with that silly red thing on her face, so she began to walk off. Turning back, she said "Well, gotta go. Bye!" "Hai, good bye to you to, Usa!" Usako. She had a glimpse of his handsome smile and unconsciously kept it to memory for the whole day. "Huh?" she saw a piece of paper in her hand, a small note, "Usagi-chan, Have a nice day and don't, I mean DON'T get 30's today. We had Math practice yesterday and I hope THAT paid off. If you do pass, you can always drop by for a cake, or maybe I'll pay for your usual arcade snacks. Oh, yeah, and DON'T TRIP today, okay? I don't want to see your knees injured again, poor you. And lastly, avoid going to detention, although I find that hardly believable (snicker). Forever the 'Baka,' Mamoru Ps: You asked me to remind you. PPS: I can't help but hope you don't follow the above words, do you know why?" "MAMORU YOU BAKA!" she screamed out behind her. Only to hear his distant laughter... She smiled, too. ~~~ He smiled at her retreating figure. Yes, things were going well now, he thought with an amount of happiness. Maybe, just maybe, things would turn out right this time. After many years of separation, he hoped, with all his heart, to God to make this chance successful, true, and just right. He loved her, with all his heart. Every time, he fell in love with her again- with her smile, her scent, her eyes, and her ravishing remarks. No matter how strange it might have seemed to others, she, for him, was perfect, and was everything he would ever need. She needn't be Sailor Moon, he already proved that, just plain, Usagi, the one who didn't remember. And, by goodness, she didn't seem to mind about his absent- minded flirting comments earlier, she even smiled! These recent days had been the happiest ones he could remember in a long time. And things were actually heading towards a pleasant direction. And soon, hopefully, it would be more than that. Yes, this time, things would be all right. He turned around and headed for the university, he couldn't wait to tease her again later. ~~~ She thought that going early to school for once was going to be all right. But as soon as she entered the school gate, her thoughts turned sour. Not that there was anything new, but the fact that some people were looking at her in such a weird way. Some had mocking looks in their eyes. And some almost had... pity in them. Her friends were in their normal states, she could say. But the group of people looking at her really made her nervous. They were whispering, staring... Who were they? She only walked past them, looking straight ahead. Those people weren't on to the fact that she was early today, she knew that. For it would be amazement that was written on their faces, not sadistic amusement and some mockery, but what? Confused, she searched for Naru and Umino and headed for them. "Usagi-chan! Aren't we early today?" Naru called out, smiling as Usagi neared them. "Yes, I know," she replied, promising to blister whoever-messed- with-her-alarm-clock's ears later. "But it feels... weird. Why are those people looking at me?" Umino shrugged, "There was this rumor about you dating a college guy... but let's just ignore it - it's probably not true, right?" 'What was that?' her mind comprehended. 'Rumor? Dating? College guy? Wait --- oh my gosh ---' "WHAT??" she asked incredulously. Mamoru? No, not ever... "And then?" she probed unbelievingly, nervously. A pounding somewhere inside her head grew louder, and she felt neutral. It was incredibly new to her, the combined excited and irritated feeling. Yet there was that emotional dread within her stomach that got worse by every second... And she grew scared, scared of what such things may reveal to her. Her mixed feelings scared her, thus bringing out irritation, and that tendency to get things over it. The nervous intuition got its effects. Umino looked surprised, "Hey, Usagi-chan, no need to worry. It's not true, right? I mean, after all, you have Seijuurou and all of those guys after you--" "That's straight as an arrow right, I'm not. Now tell me!" He gulped as Naru looked on, interested. For Pete's sake, the odango-headed girl was almost choking him for an answer! He couldn't blame her, or course - after all, he was the Rumor Resource Rocket (RRR) of Juuban High -- "GURIO UMINO, TELL ME! What else DID THEY SAY?" "Okay, okay. Natsumi's group over there, said that you were dating a college guy - which probably isn't true. The guy, they said, was only planning to dump you after you get your hopes up. After all, the guy was going to go out with Natsumi this Friday, or was it Saturday --" Gasp. " -- I don't know. It's practically spread throughout the whole campus. Ouch!" Usagi had released Umino. She was staring at an empty space, seemingly drawn out, and Naru felt her friend's confusion. And anger. Usagi slowly drew out from her stupor, and slow realization entered her mind. She drew in a sharp breath and felt herself clenching her fists. But after a moment, they loosened, and Naru immediately got worried as her friend's gaze turned to the ground. She heaved several deep breaths as she faced the ground, she was torn into different directions. Usagi didn't know whether she was going to be angry or is she was going to cry. In the first place, she wasn't even dating him! But that didn't matter much. The other parts drove deep into her inner core. Was Mamoru trying to fool her? Slowly, the small, hidden doubt grew. She felt her knees grow weak as retaliation hit her. Mamoru, he wasn't like that, was he? He was so nice these days, and she had come to think that there was more to him that she had ever imagined. But what if those thoughts were all for naught? She had laughed with him, cried with him, and even danced with him, heck, they even shared victory together. It would never, ever be a trick. Would it? They were friends! her mind insisted. And in some dark corner in her mind, she knew that she had earlier thought their relationship might be something more, but why did she feel scared? And she knew it quickly. Because it could be true. It slowly came to her thoughts, and she knew she had to face the realization. He could lie to her, and every part of the statement had no contradiction, it might as well be true. He could have fooled her. Tears filled her eyes as she thought of this. She slowly felt the lovesick dreams she had slowly slip away. Desperation surged within her. The trust, the cautiously built relationship, it felt like everything was crumbling. Mamoru... no, he wouldn't, her mind wanted to argue. But the tears continued welling in her eyes, and a scream threatened to escape her throat... 'No - no... I won't cry...' "Usagi-chan, are you okay?" She ignored her worried friend's pleas. She had to find out the truth. Choking, she angrily stomped away to find Natsumi. ~~~ Mamoru dropped his books. Something felt... wrong. Just wrong. It didn't seem like danger to him. Yet, there was that vague feeling of pain that passed him. Emotional pain. And he knew something unwanted was happening, something he couldn't stop. And then it was all clear in a flash - "Usagi!" ~~~ Natsumi gave a smirk as Usagi came to her view. The said expression turned into a triumphant smile as she recognized the look on the blonde's face. 'Well, what do you know, it actually worked.' She sighed boredly as Usagi stopped before her. She said only one word, "Natsumi." Natsumi only looked away arrogantly as she leaned on the tree she was standing near to. "Oh, it's you Usagi, early? Whatever it is, make it quick. I still have more important things to do." She didn't seem to have heard, "Natsumi," she said in a angry- like sad tone, "What does this mean?" She wanted to edge a little bit, just to irritate her. She raised an eyebrow, "What does what mean? I don't have any idea what you're talking about." "The rumor." Natsumi felt her mood break since Usagi didn't seem to be fit enough to get angry today. She couldn't aggravate the young girl since she was too sad to reply. Well then, let's show her the bitter punch, she thought. "Oh, the rumor? Wasn't it true?" "Natsumi, I didn't even date him," a sullen voice answered her. She straightened herself and walked nearer, "Of course you wouldn't. After all, why would *he* do that? Date? With you, of all people? Ha! Don't make me laugh." Make her laugh? She sure was doing so now, Usagi thought, "What's your point, Natsumi?" She stepped nearer, an irritated, yet amused expression on her face. When she heard her words, she laughed "My point is, you, Tsukino Usagi, are so stupid." She rejoiced inside as she saw Usagi flinch. There was anger in the girl's eyes, 'Ah, finally, I got to you,' she thought with disgusting pride. "And why is that?" Usagi asked steadily as Natsumi circled her. "Well, for one thing, you keep on hoping my Mamoru-chan would fall for you, when it's well evident that he's not. You keep on pining after him! All for naught, Usagi." She smiled with satisfaction when she saw Usagi's incredulous eyes and opened mouth. Laughing, she continued. "Now, don't look at me that way, Usagi-chan. For whatever you may do, you'll only come back to one thing: what I'm saying is the truth. You like him, don't you? Or better yet, you love him." Usagi gasped as Natsumi crossed her arms, "You do." "Well, anyway, the silly thing you did was this: actually believing he *would* return your affections. Do you know why? I know you do, you really do." Usagi stared at the ground, her eyes wide, and Natsumi knew the girl was trying to block out what she was saying. "You're so stupid. You're a crybaby, Usagi. Always screeching, always wailing, just one mistake, and you go with you're trademark cry -what was that?- wah?" She checked and saw Usagi choking, and for an instant second, almost felt sorry. But it was replaced with sadistic pleasure. 'But not today,' she added, determined. The brat needed to learn a lesson, and to stay away from Mamoru. "What, crying again? Oh, poor you. Face the facts, Odango Atama. You always klutz out, remember? And what about your grades? He's a scholar, at a prestigious school named Azabu University. You are so different. And you have to remember that all the two of you ever did was fight. So why are you so hopeful now, huh?" "No, no..." She smirked as Usagi moaned, and then continued, "It's seems, Usagi, that you're stupidity got you nowhere. A trick, maybe? Do you know why? Four little words, Usagi: you don't deserve him. "So why bother, when you know it's all fake? He won't have you. On that, I am sure. Those were the two things you missed Usagi, you don't deserve him, brat. And the other one, he's making a fool out of you. He'll NEVER go low enough for you. "It's a trick, you see, it has to be. He's mine, remember, how could he choose you over me? Me, I'm sophisticated, I have good grades, and I can successfully walk five blocks without even stumbling. We have plans, you know, and he'll be taking me. He won't need you, he won't care. Mark my words. "And don't say you don't believe, don't deny it, Usagi. You can't, for you, yourself, know that it is true. Pushing it all away would be futile, and your stubborness will get you nowhere again." Threat by threat, insult by insult, all entered her mind in a flash, and Usagi slowly felt her heart break. It all seemed so true, why was she foolish enough to believe that there could ever be? How could she be so stupid? She even thought that he genuinely trusted her. All the dreams, all the thoughts, the hopeful illusions, all of them were washed away with her pain. She didn't want to believe, but she couldn't. She wanted to be rational, to think that maybe what Natsumi said wasn't all true. But everything was gone, the anger, the urge to fight back. She dropped to the floor, for her knees have weakened, and all she could do was kneel. She felt numb, not talking, not moving. All she could comprehend was the truth in Natsumi's words. And the pressure piled up on her, leaving only one thing left in her mind. There was nothing, I was a fool. Mamoru. Pain. ~~~ She ran. It was going to rain soon, she knew, and thought that it only fitted her mood. 'No, I'm not going to cry...' "Usagi!" She didn't want to turn back, to look at him, to see his face, but she couldn't stop. Running away from him made no difference, for she knew that nothing could have made her mood worse than it already was. She had to face him, to bring it all out... And she looked back. He was running to her, a worried expression on his solemn face. He seemed happy to see her, but she knew beyond doubt that it wasn't true. It was impossible, and things would never be. "I'm glad you're alright, Usagi. I was searching all over for you. You didn't pass by the arcade. What's up with using the long way home today?" he asked, his strained face filling with relief. But he saw her face, and he was suddenly shaken, even more worried than last time. She wanted to tell him she was okay, that there was nothing wrong with her, to tell him to leave her alone. But all she could manage was choking a sound. Tears slowly welled in her eyes. He saw her neutral eyes, and the tears; panic flashed through him, "Usagi-chan are you--" "No," she whispered, drawing back, as if scared of him, "please... I'm alright... leave me..." He took a step towards her, ignoring her pleas, "No, you're not. What happened? Tell me and maybe I can help--" "NO!" she suddenly screeched, shocking him, "Leave me alone! Please!" She was really crying now. And Pain, it hurt. Now, there was nothing she could think of, nothing reasonable, again, it was only what Natsumi had revealed to her. He tried to reach for her again, trying to get her to calm down, "Usagi, what is happening--" "DON'T TOUCH ME, CHIBA MAMORU!" He froze, she had called him a 'baka,' a snake, and all other call-names before, but she had never spoke to him in that way, in that voice, with that name... "Why do I even bother?" she asked, more to herself than to him, "Why did I even stop to see you? Why do I even care about what you say?" she cried out in frustration. He gasped at her words. "Why did I ever join that stupid play? Why did I even allow myself to be in the same room with you? Or why do I even call you by names, I never even knew you! And you tricked me. But what do I care? I never even cared for you, I hated you!" It began to rain. His hand dropped from its position as he heard her words, and shock was clearly written in his eyes, but he said nothing and looked away. His eyes were closed, as if concentrating on something hard, and he didn't move as she continued her words. "You are nothing, you hear? You are nothing to me! You're just that stupid jerk who bothers me every morning with your sick words! I hated you, and now, I hate you still for doing these things to me!" He then turned to her, and there were those eyes, eyes that were hurt, eyes that were angry. What she was saying was too much... "You hate me." He said this with a steady voice. His eyes were slit, and his composure was firm; and all was suddenly dark and serious. She ignored it, drowning in her own pain. She had to push him away, she didn't deserve him. She was also scared. And if it was all an act, a trick, she didn't want to have to face him. Usagi didn't want him to get away with her pain. And she didn't want to see him realize what a loser she was, mostly, she didn't want to be seen weak, "I HATE YOU! In fact, I'm tired of you! I'm tired of it all, of crying, of feeling pain because of you! I don't want to see it anymore." She then looked at him, he stood steadily, staring at her with a dark look in his eyes. It was incredibly cold, and even the raindrops pelting painfully on her face didn't matter. She didn't even flinch under his hard gaze, only allowing the tears to fall freely. "You've hated me," he stated evenly. "I never loved you!" she lied through her tears, "Why would I? There was nothing, absolutely nothing between us. I didn't even *care* for you. And I'm thoroughly disgusted to even think of such things!" But it didn't come out as a shout. It turned into little whimpers, she knew he had somehow seen. He would see her, he would feel her pain, he would know... She turned away, "I don't want to see you anymore," she whispered. I love you Mamo-chan, her heart whispered softly. And then she looked up once more. He didn't even look pained. The thought pulled a sob out of her, and a painful sound echoed endlessly through the willow of trees. She then felt the cold breeze pass by. He never did care. She continued to cry, she had lost, and there was nothing she could ever do to relieve her of the pain. She loved him, and wanted to be with him always, to hear him call me Odango and Usa-ko. But it was all gone, and she would never see him anymore... She will never forget... "Of course, you never want to see me again, you hate me. If that's the case, don't worry, Usagi. I would never bother you again." His unwavering voice shook her to the soul, and all she could do was watch as he turned around and walked away without another word. He didn't turn around. ~~~ - Walk away Don't turn around 'cause you may see me cry Walk away Don't turn around, Don't even say goodbye Don't turn around until you reach the other side - ~~~ She dropped to her knees and cried. "Wait..." she whispered helplessly, regretting what she said. But regret often came afterwards, and she knew there was nothing more she could ever do. She would never see Mamo-chan in that light again, and things would never be the same. "I love you..." But he would never hear. And he was gone. Mamoru-Baka was gone. Mamoru-chan was gone. Everything was gone. ~~~ - I've never known A feeling so sure You came my way And opened the door I think of us and the love that we had With half a chance I'd bring it all back Lookin' back I have no regrets *I'd tell my friends That you were the best And as I stand, just watching the rain I pray that you were here once again - ~~~ She had stood up and ran off, ran without paying heed to whoever saw her. She passed the streets, ignoring the worried faces under those umbrellas. She ignored the rain, the coldness, and she ignored the world. No, they wouldn't understand, no one would. She took comfort in a deserted alley, where the darkness welcomed her. It was all where her strength wore out, and she fell down, weak and exhausted. She lay there, contemplating in the dark, and the only sound that remained in the place was her shallow, hard breaths. And the darkness spoke to her, it made her remember... 'Odango Atama...' 'We're only friends,' she had said when he saw Seijuurou. 'I bet,' he answered, not believing. 'The question is, Tsukino Usagi, what are YOU doing on top of me?' sparkling eyes, filled with mischief and happiness. 'My being silent makes me nice?' a gentle smile. 'My love will be forever yours, princess,' a sweet kiss. 'I trust you,' an open heart. 'You're deeper than people normally think you are, Odango Atama,' a friendly hand. 'I will always remember, Odango Atama, I will always remember the truth,' a love that seemed so strong. A soul that knew... The Truth... 'You hate me.' And a broken heart. Her broken heart. "Mamoru, how could you? I loved you..." she whispered in the darkness as she shook unsteadily. When it seemed like she couldn't cry anymore, more tears came, "You said you trusted me, you said you will remember..." A strangled sound came from her as she lay alone on the cold ground. Her thoughts were amiss, her hair disarrayed, her face smudged with dirt, and her clothes dripping wet. Nothing seemed to matter. ~~~ - I know it's gonna be hard this way 'Cause I'll be missing you everyday Now I know you're leaving And it's such a lonely feeling That I know I gotta let you go Gotta let you go But I know Things always change So I guess I gotta let you go - ~~~ "I won't be able to let you go..." she whispered pitifully to herself. But I have to do this, she reminded. I will miss you Mamoru-chan, but I don't know you anymore... Suddenly, there was what seemed like a sparkle. Usagi saw the light and immediately reached for it, and as she did, she found the locket Mamoru had given her in her hands. She opened it, wanting the solace of the haunting melody. It was the only thing left to remind her of him. Maybe it would ease the pain. It normally played the music whenever she held it, whenever she needed it to, but it didn't this time. She panicked and opened the clasp, but nothing happened, and she gasped. 'No...' The star locket had stopped playing. End of Chapter 6 See you at chapter seven! AUTHOR'S NOTES: "Walk Away" is a song by Solid HarmoniE (SHE) under Zomba Records Corp. I don't claim rights for the said song. "Sailor Moon" is owned by DiC, Kodansha (finally got that spelling right!), Toei Animation, Mixxine, and all other respective companies. PS: This is a short chapter, I know. But I cut the other parts of for chapter seven: the last chapter by name, and finally, the epilogue. Watch out for it! PPS: About e-mail problems, I told you guys, my *new* e-mail address is: hannah@predlinux.info.com.ph or if you can't remember annabelle_g@usa.net Please, e-mail! :) PPPS: Visit me at http://surf.to/storybox/ (gotta love these v3 url's) or at http://members.tripod.com/~Annabelle_Guillermo/Storybox.htm and please sign the guestbook. Both url's lead to the same place. PPPPS: Thanks to M. Sweet, Merlinkitty, Kat, Miaka, and all of those nice people who sent me their comments. I think I ran out of P's ^_^ Thanks & Bye! http://surf.to/storybox/ hannah@predlinux.info.com.ph annabelle_g@usa.net