Miru by Black Beyond **************** Only human. Only mortal. That's all I am. And I don't want to be. Sometmes I have dreams, dreams where I am more, something that people shall remember, someone that they respect and love. Things that I am not. I know, everyone who's different wishes they weren't and everyone who's normal wishes *they* weren't. It's more for me. I've never been wanted, and when I was, I turned away simply because I didn't know what Love was. I've just wanted someone to love me, not for what I was but for what I could become. If I had one wish, just one wish from a fairy that could do anything... I'd wish for a destiny. A purpose. A promise that my life would be remembered and praised. A gift that I could use to help something. Anything, just so long as it put me away from the omnious crowd where people are born and people die, and none of them are remembered except by the people that love them, and some aren't lucky enough for that. They fade away, forgotten. Content with their life with not satisfied by the feeling that they should have done this and would have done that if things had been different. I do not want to be one of those people. I'm already different. But I hate the feeling that there's something lying in wait inside me that I can't reach. Like the cookie jar on a counter, but your arm isn't quite long enough to reach it. My hair. That's normal, sort of. It's shoulder length, and brown, with blondish highlights. I love my hair. My eyes. If you ever saw me, you'd never forget. My eyes are blood red. Not the dark garnet-red of the Queen's cat, Luna, not the sad quiet fading-rose red of the fabled Sailor Pluto. Fresh-Blood red. Absolutely insanely red. The kind of neon-red you'd expect to see in one of those science-fiction movies. Not in a human's eyes. And I'm short and thin for my age, which is sixteen. Not especially short, just a few inches smaller than normal. Not enough for the doctors to go in histerics and pronouce me the smallest midget. I'm 5'2". Yeah, to some of you that's pretty tall. But not when you're sixteen. The only way I can deal with things is to pretend I don;t get them or that they're funny. Like I said, I'm thin. Now that threw the doctors into a panic. They just couldn't figure out how, ever though they were feeding me through my wrists and making sure I wasn't anorexic, I was so thin. Oh, yeah. Don't get confused. My aunt, who is my gaurdian, only took me to the doctors because I'm her heir, and she needs an heir who doesn't care about the money so it will stay in the stocks and accounts and grow. The only other possible heir is her brother, who would immeditantly blow every last yen in two hours. She needs her company to go on forever and ever. Her words, definatly not mine. Everything above is dead true, but I have to warn you about something. I LOVE JOKES. ~**~ "Did you hear? The senshi are visiting our school to look for possible canidates! All of them are going to chose one kid a peice... as their ward!" My friend Beth practicly attacked me as I walked into the building. "So?" I muttered. Great. Another day to be humilated. I swear, if Sailor Jupiter comes up to me as says, 'Oh, man, you're short!', She will get belted, senshi or no senshi. Every since the Sailor Senshi and Neo Queen Serenity 'came forth'a hundred and forty-two years ago, everything's been la-de-da! Blah blah, happy day, etc. "SO?! Miru, have you completely lost it?!" She stared at me like I was green. "I don't care." I said. Even though inside I was leaping up and down. Sarcasm, people. Sarcasm. "Well, you'd better. We're being called into the auditorium. Appartently they can narrow their wards down to a small group, and then go from there. "Wonderful. We get to sit in a hot room while they try to use the ESP they don't have to find some yippy kid to whip into shape." I was seething. Here was the chance to ask someone what those dreams and that feeling I always got were about, and I was too chicken to even look for them. I saw a pretty woman give me a strange look. She had purple hair and eyes just a few shades lighter than that. She wasn't that tall either, but there was a sort of quiet deadliness to her... I wish I had that. "What's your name?" She asked me, and I noticed her voice was quiet. Not like she was shy, but like she knew she didn't have to yell to be heard. That's what Beth said I was like. "My name is Miru." I said, hopeing that she didn't ask why I had no family name. Luck just doesn't like me. "No last name?" She asked. That got me. Everyone around here says family name. Like if you don't have one, you don't belong. But she said last name. Like it was no big deal... Who the hell was she? "No. I have no family." She just nodded. Most people recoiled from me like I had typhoid. Then it hit me. She wasn't 'most people'. "Who are you?" I asked. She gave me this sad smile, like she knew exactly what I was thinking. "My name is Hotaru." She answered. "No last name?" I mimiced. "I used to have one." She sighed. "But I had to give it up. If you must know, it was Tomoe." TOMOE HOTARU?! This was the senshi of death. I was talking to the senshi of death. I could see Beth back away, her face pale. Why? She was the senshi of death, not the bringer of it. But I didn't. Because I felt a chill in the air around her. And I liked that chill. I wanted that chill. "You have a very pretty name, Hotaru-san." I said. I knew that was what she wanted. She didn't want to be feared. She wanted to me loved. Just like... Just... like... me... "I will see you again, Miru." She turned to join a couple I immediatly recognized. Tenoh Haruka and Kaioh Michiru. Oh, no, Firefly. You aren't leaving me now. Somehow, when I was with her, I got a feeling I belonged. And that was something I liked. I started towards them. "Miru are you crazy?!" Beth hissed after me, but I ignored. Yup, I'm crazy, by golly. "Hello, Tenoh-san. Kaioh-san." I said, shaking their hands. I could see they were startled, but I could also see that Hotaru was trying not to laugh. "Uh... hello..." Haurka stuttered, but Michiru smiled at me. "Hello. You were talking to Hotaru a few seconds ago, weren't you?" She was good at covering up things. So was Tenoh, but she was startled by my forwardness. I'm always baffled when people are shy. I'm guessing that the senshi no sora was completely opposite. "Yes, I was. You're part of the senshi, aren't you, miss?" I asked. She nodded, but a dark look was coming into Tenoh's eyes. Not a good thing. "Really? I've not really heard much about you, Tenoh-san. You're Uranus, aren't you? I always thought you were the best, you know? Besides Neptune and Saturn, of course. I love the way you fight. I've seen the videos of your training pratices. How do you fight like that? No, let me guess, you're a natural. Of course, that must be it." A trapped look had entered her eyes, and now it was Kaioh and Hotaru that were laughing. "Yeah... sure. Oh, look. There's Mako." She was off like a shot after a tall brunette. It was then that Hotaru and Michiru burst out in laughter. "That's the... first time in a... long time anyone's.... intimidated her." Kaioh said, inbetween giggled. "She's so used to being bowed down to she forgot that some people aren't entirely impressed by it." Hotaru was looking at me with a look I *didn't* like. The same look my aunt gave me, like I was being evaluated. "Well, I have to go to class. Tell Tenoh- san I'm sorry about that... but it was easier than being diced to ribbons." I didn't bow, but I think they got the idea that I did respect them, as I headed off to math. ~**~ Later, when I was in History, I was smakking my head discreetly against my desk. I did it again. I went off jumping without looking again. I did it all the time. Something I actually regreted. I was always doing it. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts, that I didn't notice that the intercom came on and they began calling names until Naki, who sits behind me, poked me in the back. "Miru, your name was called!" He hissed at me. I turned and looked blankly at him. He looked away. I hate people who do that. Bog whoop, my eyes are red. "Where am I supposed to go?" I asked. "The office." "Thanks." I picked up my notebook and left the room, all but running to the main office. Maybe my aunt was here to pick me up. Maybe she died and my uncle was here. As I passed by the conference room, I heard voices. I love listening in to people's conversations. It's just how I learn things. I don't gossip, but it prepares me for stuff. It's how I learned my parents were dead. So I stopped, and pressed my ear against the door. "Hotaru, are you sure? She freaked out Haruka." A heard a light, bubbly voice say. "I'm sure, Minako. She's got that same dark, but good feel that I get from the glaive. I know it's her. Check with Usagi, if you have to. But I know it's her." "It will be fun to see Haruka's reaction." A voice I recognized as Michiru's, said. I frowned, and conitnued to the office. Who were they talking about? What were they talking about? I set my notebook down on the desk, and asked Michiko, the secretary, what I supposed to do. She was about to say something, but a lady with long dark hair pointed me into the second conference room. Not the one of which I'd heard voices, but the other. I went in. Two other girls, one I knew and the other I didn't, were in there. The one I knew was a quiet girl named Iku Kimno. She'd talk to me once in a while, to say hi, or something. Not a talker but not the 'I'm under a vow of silence' kind. The other was a sophmore. I'd seen her but I didn't know her name or anything. Judging by the jumpy look in her green eyes, she was one of the wild kinds. Not a problem. "Hello," I sat down beside Iku, across from Green Eyes. "Hi, Miru." Iku said. She would glance up at my face now and then. I knew she liked my eyes. But Green Eyes was flat out staring at me. "Your eyes." She stammered. "Yeah, gorgeous, huh?" I sighed. "So, what's your name. And why the bloody hell are we here." "I'm Hiko. Juki Hiko." She gave me a strange look. "Don't you know? We're the ones to train for the senshi roles." "Senshi?" my voice squeaked. What have I gotten myself into?! I didn't have much time to yell at myself. Others came, and then we were ushered out of the school and into a limosine. The others were excited but I was too dazed. Was this the power? I don't know. I know it had to be an hour, but it was like a few minutes, because after Hiko told me those fateful words, the next thing I knew I was standing inside the palace, under the gaze of Neo Queen Serenity herself, and her daughter, probably about a year younger than I. "As you probably know, you're here because you have been chosen by the senshi themselves as their prodigies. I will tell you who were chosen by and you will join them." She motioned to the line of indimating senshi. I waved to Sailor Uranus, who gave me an alarmed look. I felt Iku's elbow dig into my side. "Mian Tenshi, you are to train with Sailor Mercury." Tenshi, what a strange name. But I noticed, as the pale girl went to her senshi's side, that she looked like an angel. Her hair and skin were both as fair as it got before you hit white. She did look angelic. "Juki Hiko, you were chosen by Sailor Venus." it didn't take a genius to notice the shock on Hiko's face as she was led off by Sailor Venus. I guess we'd both assumed, because of her name, she would be with Sailor Mars. "Seino Yumi, go with Sailor Mars." A girl with feiry eyes and black hair moved out of our group to stand beside the fire senshi. "Kimno Iku, you are with Sailor Jupiter." Excuse me? Quiet little Iku with the senshi of *thunder*? But Iku looked perfectly content beside the tall brunette that I recognized as Haruka's savior. Indeed, Uranus looked trapped as Jupiter grinned at her and left with her student. Just for a laugh, I shot an evil smile at the senshi of the heavens. I noticed Neptune's face screw up with laughter. "Zosma Neko, go with Uranus." I bust into laughter as Uranus grabbed her ward's wrist and dragged the bewildered girl out of the throne room. Neptune and Saturn were laughing with me. "Hiaino Otome, go with Sailor Neptune." It sounded like the queen was trying to hold bakc her own laughter as Neptune left the room laughing. It was me and Saturn. "I don't know what the joke is, but that's the first time I've seen Haruka afraid in a long time!" Serenity finally began laughing. I grinned at her. "We met at the school. I was talking to Michiru-san, and she begna to get this 'I'm going to kill you' look. So I talked to her, instead." I said, as evenly as a person can while they're laughing so hard that they're about to pee in their pants. "She fired questions and compliments at Haruka-papa like a machine gun. It was hilarious." Saturn said. She came over to stand beside me, as the room became sober. "Miru, you have been chosen as the senshi of silence. This is a task not many want, so it's up to--" "I'll do it." It might have been rude to interupt Small Lady, but I didn't care at that particular moment. Hotaru smiled at me, and told me to hold out my hand. I did, and she pressed a small wand into it. "This is the training wand, the one I started out with before I became Super Sailor Saturn. Say the words, Miru. You know them." She urged. I did. But there was another set of words. They were fighting each other. One wanted to be said, while the other needed to be said. "Which ones?" I asked. "Don't you know?" Serenity asked. I didn't miss the doubtful look she gave Saturn. I decided to go with Saturn. "Saturn Planet Power, Make up!" There it was. The power. That feeling I could never reach. It suddenly exploded within me. Everything I'd horded up since I was born, all those emotions and tears I could never let flow, suddenly were released into the room. The formed a sphere of dark light around me, twisted and turning, until they swirled into one, sending out a burst of light. A glaive... like the ones in the pictures... formed from the lights, and I softly heard a sad melody play, full of static but growing stronger as the lights spun around me. I saw the glaive vanish and then reappear in my hand. It took a life of it's own, and in two swift strokes, I lashed out at the sphere. It fell in towards me, creating a sailor fuku. I vaguly heard Serenity exclaim, "Saturn, what's wrong? It wasn't like this for you!" and then Saturn's chuckle. And then the lights were gone, and the transformation was complete. My boots were exactly like Saturn's, only blue. Other than that, there was hardly a simularity. My skirt was a vivid blue, as was the sailor hankercheif around my shoulders and the bands around my gloves. Both my bows were the same blood red as my eyes. In the center of my bow was a golden jew, like a many pointed crystal. At the choker on my throat was the same crystal, only smaller. The blade of my glaive was gold, not the silver of Saturn's. The stone in my tiara was black. The sleeves of my fuku were cut in a leaf- fashion. (I have a picture. If you'd like to see it, e-mail me.) "It's different for everyone, my Queen." Saturn said, but she was also staring at me. Small Lady was staring at me. *I* was staring at me. "I am Sailor Saturn." I didn't mean to say it, but I did. And it felt right. **************** End Part 1 -Black Beyond