Title: Saying Goodbye to Dorothy Smith - Chapter 1 Author: Alicia Blade E-mail: Kammi22@sprintmail.com This one wouldn't of been up for a couple months still if it weren't for Lady S's pushing on it. Hope you all enjoy it as much as she did!! "Have pity, God Most High! My enemies chase me all day. Many of them are pursuing and attacking me, but even when I am afraid, I keep on trusting you. I praise your promises! I trust you and am not afraid. No one can harm me." Psalm 56:1-4 A nine-year-old Darien closed the oak door quietly behind him, before turning and smiling at the old woman in the room. She glanced up for a moment from pouring her tea. "Good afternoon, Darien." "Good afternoon, Dorothy. How are you?" "Oh, my old bones are a bit achy today, but I'm doing just fine. What's that you got in your hands there?" Darien smiled down on the red rose carefully protected in his fingers' grasp. "Ah, another one of your flowers I see. It's a pretty one too. I just can't see HOW you manage to grow those things this time of year." The boy smiled, walking further into the room and dropping the bud into a clear glass, filling it up with water before setting it down on the windowsill. "Oh, no, no, bring that over here now. We'll set it right dab in the middle of the tea table? it will give us something to focus on, now won't it? You do know how I love fresh flowers on a table." Doing as he was told, Darien set the flower down on the table before pulling out one of the oak chairs and assisting the older women into it. "There you go, Miss Smith." "Why thank you, Darien. One of these days you'll grow to be a perfect gentleman, and I'll be proud to say, 'I taught that there boy!'" The boy laughed and claimed a chair opposite her to begin his tea. Dorothy Smith had a kind face with dull gray hair, pulled into a tight bun more often than not. Beneath the wrinkled, rose tinted skin were too glowing green eyes, sparkling with life. Her voice was soft and kind, always gentle, and never strict. You could not imagine her yelling a word all her life, though she enjoyed telling stories of when she was a troublemaker as a child. She was short and stubby, 'pleasantly plump' as she called it, with worn, tired hands, and multiple chins. Though not a sight to look at? no one could ever deny that Dorothy Smith could SMILE! Her eyes would light up and whole face beam into a cheery pink. A jolly laugh would usually follow, rumbling the nearby walls into happiness. Darien drank at the tea slowly, enjoying the warm liquid floating down his tongue. He never enjoyed being rushed through tea time, his favorite hour of the day. He often thought he had picked that trait up from Dorothy years before. "So, has the day been good to you?" asked the old woman, finishing off her first drink and pouring herself another cup. Darien sighed, staring at the rose. "I found an empty corner in the garden today. I believe it was once used for supplies or the likes, but after the shed they built last summer, it's only a patch of dirt now. I was going to ask you if I could plant on it." "Oh yes, yes of course you can Darien. Do whatever you like. You do know how I enjoy your flowers!" Darien smiled, his eyes glazing over the single red rose in the center of the table. He had picked that one from his favorite bush just this morning. At the time it had been covered in shining beads of dew, though now only the velvety red remained. Still, it was stunningly beautiful. He let himself be proud. "Did you talk to any of the other children today?" asked Dorothy, sipping at her tea. Darien looked up slightly, reminiscing over the past hours. Slowly, he stated, "That new girl talked to me again. I think she wanted me to say something about that new hat she bought for herself the last outing." "And did you?" Darien blushed slightly. "I didn't much like the hat?" Dorothy 'tsked' him quietly. "Darien, you will never earn the admiration of a girl if you don't learn to say the right things." Darien looked down shyly. "Well? I don't want the admiration of a girl. All they do is gossip and laugh at everything I say. Even the older ones are like that? I don't understand them at all!" Dorothy laughed, that grand, heart-lifting laugh, which made Darien look up at her with a smile on his own face, though he didn't quite understand what was so funny. Finally, she quieted, small tears glistening at the corners of her ivy-green eyes. "You know, someday you will find a girl whose admiration you will want very much. And THEN what will you do?" Darien blushed. "Then I will comment nicely on her hat!" Darien woke slowly, his eyes opening to stare blankly at the ceiling above. The dream had been so familiar? 'Of course it was? baka!' Taking a deep breath, he stood from his bed, running a hand through his black hair. He glanced at the clock. '6:30. Half hour until I have to get up, anyway, might as well stay awake.' Walking into the kitchen, he started himself a pot of coffee before walking out onto his balcony. The first rays of sunlight were just beginning to gleam out on the horizon, the morning sky being painted with pastel hues of pinks and oranges? With a small smile on his face, Darien closed his eyes. 'Dorothy Smith. I haven't thought of you forever? I wonder how you are these days?' The dream brought back both welcome and haunting memories. He could still hear her laughter filling this room as it had the small office at the end of the last hall at the orphanage. Where they had drunk tea together for hours on end? Talking of nothing and everything? He smiled in remembrance of those times. How he had looked forward to them. He knew that during his early years, he was only ever truly happy in that small office, with his only friend at the time, or working away in the gardens beyond the gate. She always seemed to be the light of the day. And she was the only female he could ever remember keeping a decent conversation with. All those close to his age were quite used to fawning and giggling over him. He smiled ironically. 'Not much has changed after all these years. Why did I think girls would someday get some decent heads on their shoulders? Not one has ever argued with me?'He opened his eyes with a smile. 'Except Meatball Head.' "But Serena's different," he pointed out to himself aloud. With another sigh, he shook his head, ridding his mind of the thought. He'd been finding it harder and harder to keep her off his mind lately. Part of him wondered why. The other part already knew the answer. Turning, he left back into his apartment, downing a cup of coffee before preparing for his morning jog, where he hoped to bump into a certain someone on her way to school. WHACK! "Aaaaaaahh! Oh, I'm so, so sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going?" And bump into her, he did. "Jeez, watch where you're going, Meatball Head!" Serena looked up from her bowed position to come face to face with two deep, blue eyes staring down on her coolly. Her remorseful expression soon turned to one of anger as she picked herself up from her current position on the sidewalk. "Oh, it's YOU. Well then, I take it back, I'm not sorry after all." Darien forced back a chuckle. Already, it was proving to be a promising day. "On your way to school? You're gonna be?" "Oh NO! I'm gonna be LATE! Ooh, Miss Haruna is gonna kill me for SURE this time! Thanks a LOT, Darien!" And with those rushed words, Serena breezed past him. "Hey, do you want a ride?" he called in a small attempt to be nice. She froze, half way down the block already, and turned to him. "From YOU?!" she yelled. "Not in this lifetime!" "Don't say I didn't offer to help!" She stuck her tongue out at him childishly before turning on her heels and running like the dickens. Darien chuckled. Man, was she different? He sighed, setting his groceries down on the counter and rubbing a hand through his black hair. "Beautiful day?" he thought, looking outside his window. He'd spent most of it outside, walking aimlessly through the park or window shopping down the main streets. He'd stopped in at the arcade an hour ago to talk with Andrew before hitting the store and picking up some food to fill his cupboards. He checked the clock. "It's only 2:30? Seems like it should be six already. Oh well, if I can get this food put away, I'll have time to go see Serena again." With that motivation and a hopeful smile, Darien began stocking his shelves. Not long after, he was paused by a phone call. Setting the milk in the refrigerator quickly, he picked up the receiver. "Hello?" "Hello, is this Mr. Darien Chiba?" "Yes, it is. Who am I speaking with?" "Hello, my name is Jordan Mikoso, I'm with the Kowona Associates Firm. I'm very sorry to inform you of this news, but Miss Dorothy Smith, the owner of The Nguyen Orphanage, passed away last Saturday evening." Darien stared into space for a moment, the statement not filtering into his mind. He shook his head. "E?excuse me?" "I'm very sorry for your loss. She died painlessly in her sleep." There was a silence, Darien denying what he had just heard. How? how could Dorothy be? dead?? "Sir, if you would like someone to talk to, I can set up an appointment with a pastor or counselor?" "No, no? I'm? fine?" There was a short pause. "The funeral will be held tomorrow at 11:00 a.m. at St. Claire's church just down the street from the orphanage. You are also listed in her will to receive belongings. The reading will be the following day, Wednesday the twenty-first, at 2:00 p.m. in the lobby of the orphanage. Do you need directions to either?" Darien breathed in deeply, storing the information somewhere in the back of his mind. "No? I'll be? okay?" "Again, I am very sorry for your loss." Darien nodded, forgetting the man could not see him. "Th? thank you." "Of course. Good day." "Bye." With a click, Darien hung up the phone, staring at the receiver for a moment. Inhaling a shaky breath, Darien fell back against the counter. 'Miss Dorothy Smith passed away last Saturday evening?' Shaking his head, Darien grabbed his jacket and left his apartment in a hurry. Serena skipped happily over the wooden bridge crossing the small stream in the park. With a wide smile, she stopped in the middle, leaning over the edge to look down on her reflection smiling back at her. It had been a good day, with the exception of a 20 minute detention due to tardiness. The good side of that, though, was that now she had a reason to talk to Darien? in order to blame him for making her late. It wasn't his fault, really, she would have been late either way? she knew that perfectly well. But now? she could provoke him into calling her Meatball Head again. She sighed leaning out over the railing further, watching a school of fish disappear from view. It was stupid, she knew. Both the nickname and the fact that she enjoyed it. Yes, she yelled and screamed when he called her that? but inside, she might as well have been jumping for joy. Because it came from that wonderful, incredible man? Giggling, she moved her face to the sky. She didn't know exactly when she had started feeling that way. She knew that in the beginning, she had her head screwed on the right way? but it didn't take long for him to get under her skin, with his striking blue eyes and silky black hair. The way he spoke, laughed, smiled? His intelligence, something she admired in anyone who had it, and of course, he could rival Ami in that category. His huge heart, she'd seen that in the way he talked to Andrew and Raye. In fact, every little thing about him simply drove her crazy? Suddenly, her eyes caught on something? or someone, sitting on the bank of the small river. "Darien?" He threw another rock into the stream, watching small rings and ripples of water spread out from it. His mind wandered through years of memories? his heart drifted in loneliness. He hadn't felt really lonely for years, but now? everything seemed to fade in an instant. He sighed, pulling his knees to his chest and settling his chin on them. He hadn't yet given in to the force of tears threatening the backs of his eyes. "You know," said a slightly angry voice suddenly beside him, "I got stuck with 20 minutes of detention because of you." He looked to his right just as Serena plopped down beside him. At first he was shocked that she was even talking to him, but then his brain translated what she had said and he no longer found it too strange. With a small, forced grin, he turned to look out at the stream again. "Oh? I'm sorry, Serena." Serena furrowed her brow, slowly turning to him. He wasn't looking at her, but staring again at the small creek. Had he just said? he's sorry? "Since when do you apologize? And WHAT did you call me?!" Darien turned to look at her again, his eyes making mental notes of that adorable school outfit, her legs buried beneath the skirt, and the golden hair pooling on the ground beside her. He checked his sentence again to make sure he hadn't just called her a pet name or something. 'Oh? I'm sorry, Serena.' Nope, nothing. So what was wrong with that? "Um? since I was sorry? and? your name IS Serena? remember?" She looked at him for a second before throwing a hand to his forehead. He jumped back a little surprised. "It doesn't? feel like you're running a fever? Okay, who are you and what did you do with my Darien?" He smiled slightly as she pulled her hand away. Had she just called him? her Darien? "I'm just not in the mood for fun and games today, Meatball Head." She sighed. 'That's more like it!' Darien leaned back. Lying down on the grassy floor and staring up at the sky. She watched him silently, her eyes drifting over every perfect feature. Finally, she followed suit, falling back on the grass as well, resting her head on her hands. "Then I guess we might actually get along for a bit." Darien looked at her from the corner of his eye. Part of him was happy she had decided not to leave him, while the other wanted to be alone. In the end, he only smiled a tiny grin and returned his gaze to the cloud-dotted blue sky. After a while of silence, Serena turned to see him staring up at the sky. His lips were set in a straight line, not frowning, not smiling? not talking, which was unusual when she was around. She'd never been around him for this long at one time? generally she'd either scampered off, or he'd left casually after teasing her to his delight. Her delight too, though he didn't know THAT. His black bangs were falling messily over his piercing eyes. Something about the gaze in those eyes scared her? made her slightly nervous. They looked? sad? secretive. Then? she saw a small, almost invisible sparkle at the corner of his eye. He quickly blinked it away, too late. He was crying? "Darien, what's wrong?" Her voice was small and broken, shock and worry etched into her sweet words. He looked at her surprised. She was still lying less than a foot away from him, now propped up on one elbow, looking down on him sadly. He gulped, turning away. There was no doubt in his mind that those gorgeous blue eyes could see straight into his soul with so much as a glance. Finally, he choked out, "I don't want to talk about it, Meatball Head." At first she was surprised at the distant sound in his voice, then angry at his words. She knew it was crazy, that he didn't have to tell her anything he didn't want to? but she still felt hurt that he couldn't tell her whatever it was that had hurt him so. 'Did you have a fight with a friend? Problems with school? work? Was it a girl? I wonder if he just had his heart broken? oh Darien?' between the pity and jealousy filtering with that thought, she somehow knew it hadn't been a girl. Maybe all of the hope that it hadn't been simply stole the thought away. But, despite what had pained him so? she knew full well that she didn't like seeing him this way. She would almost rather have him teasing or humiliating her. With a confused frown and sigh, she laid back down on the grass again. Another long minute passed with silence held between the two. Darien battled with the many choices he had? all seeming inviting in their own ways. He didn't know whether to tell her everything, get this off his shoulders and maybe receive a hug in the process, leave quietly while he was still sane before breaking down and either crying or kissing her. 'Which isn't too bad an idea either?' his mind substituted before throwing the idea out the window it had come through. Or simply lay there and be content knowing Serena was with him during this time? though she didn't realize how extremely comforting that was to him. He chose option C. Out of nowhere, Darien heard a soft giggling from the girl. Turning, he saw that she was looking up at the sky. "What?" "That cloud! It looks like an ice cream cone!! Heh heh?" "Where?" he looked up at the sky, but saw nothing in the slightest resembling a delightful treat. Then again? Serena DID have a better imagination than he did. "That one over there!" she began pointing at some distant point in the sky. He squinted his eyes carefully. "I don't see it, Meatball Head." She sighed, rolling her eyes and moving closer to him so that the lengths of their bodies touched. Taking his right hand into hers, she brought it up to point at the sky. "It's right THERE!!" Darien looked harder, trying to concentrate on the sky and not her delicate body so close to him, or her small hand holding onto his own. "Oh? you mean the one with the little round thing on top?" "And the point on the bottom, yeah, that one!" Darien tilted his head closer to hers. "I dunno? looks kind of like a pair of scissors to me?" Serena then tilted HER head closer to his. "Yeah? I can see that too." "Oh, and over there," exclaimed Darien, moving their hands to point at another distant point off in the sky. "That one looks kind of like a couch, doncha think?" Serena looked for a minute, before bursting out laughing. "Hey, you're right, it does! Ooh, and doesn't the one over there look like a rabbit?" Darien chuckled along with her, searching over the blue sky. "Oh, wait? it's changing? now? hey, it looks like Ms. Haruna!! Ha ha, wow, does she look mad! Her hair is standing on edge! Heh heh?" Darien grinned as he turned his head to look at this bright angel by his side. She continued to chatter about homework and ice cream and clouds for a minute, simply staring off into the Heavens. He began to wonder if this was one of the worst days of his life? or the best. Serena noticed that Darien was no longer talking. She ceased her ranting to look over at him. He had his eyes glued to hers, his gaze not shifting even after she turned to stare back at him. For the first time, she realized that when she had moved closer to him, she had ended up resting on his arm, and it only tightened around her as they stared into each other's blue eyes. Taking a deep breath, Darien shifted to his side to look down on her, propping his free hand gently on her stomach. She could feel her insides begin to churn inside. "Thank you," he whispered. She gawked at him for a minute, before replying, "What for?" His serious gaze melted with a small, almost unnoticeable twist of the lips. "For making me smile. I needed that." Serena then remembered how sad he had looked earlier, so alone? depressed? She smiled back up at him, worry keeping it from reaching her eyes. Shakily, she reached up to brush some bangs from his eyes. He began to back away from the intimate touch at first, but froze. "Darien? why are you so sad today? Can't you tell me? please?" He stared down on her, slightly surprised, slightly nervous? very in love. With slow, steady movements, he pushed himself away, falling back again. Serena looked over at him before resuming the position he had taken earlier, balancing on her elbow, staring down on him patiently. Darien inhaled, closing his eyes. Piercing his lips together, he searched silently for the words. "A very close friend of mine? died last Saturday. I just found out an hour ago." A silence commenced again. Serena wasn't sure if what she had heard? 'Someone died? A close friend? Oh, Darien?' "I guess? it was her time to go? but God, I'm going to miss her. She was the only person I could ever talk to as a kid. The only friend I ever had until I met Andrew. And now? now she's gone. And I didn't even get to say? good bye?" Serena's lip quivered as she looked down on Darien. She gasped as a tear escaped from one closed eyelid. His arm tightened around her waist, his fingers clutching at the soft material of her shirt. Before allowing him time to brush the tear away, she threw herself onto him, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face in the collar of his jacket. "Oh, Darien? I'm so sorry, Darien? I didn't know?" He opened his eyes, blurred and wet, to look up at the sky. Shakily, he pulled his other arm around her, no longer fighting the tears. His walls of pain cracked and he closed his eyes again, squeezing them together as tight as he squeezed the girl in his arms. Serena said and did nothing as she felt the always strong, always carefree man break into uncontrolled sobs in her embrace. Neither knew how long they'd been lying there. Still, motionless. Darien's hold on her had loosened somewhat and she could no longer feel him shaking and crying beneath her, but otherwise, they hadn't moved. Darien sighed, unconsciously kissing her forehead lightly. She stirred and looked up at him with slightly drowsy, very melancholy blue eyes. He gulped and forced a smile to prove he was okay. She tried to smile back, but failed. She could still see the depths of sadness lingering in his taunting eyes. Finally, she broke the silence. "Darien? are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do?" His smile softened just a bit and he shook his head slowly. "No. Thanks, though, Meatball Head." She frowned. "Are you sure? I mean? if you want, I could? keep you company for a little while or? make you dinner or something? I'm not a really very good cook, but I can try, and?" He kissed her forehead again, silencing her to look down on him once more. "Really, I'll be fine. I'm okay, see?" He shrugged his shoulders and forced the smile brighter. She remained unconvinced. "Darien? I only want to help you." He sighed. "I know. And you don't know what that means to me, but you have things to do, I'm sure. And I don't want to depress you any more than I already have." She frowned. "Knowing that you're depressed makes me sad too." He furrowed his brow, tilting his head slightly. Choosing not to investigate what that meant, he turned away, once again staring up at the sky. It was already darkening and he began to seriously ponder how long they had been out here. "I'm? scared though." "Why is that? What are you scared of?" Serena whispered. He inhaled. "The funeral is tomorrow. It's at the old church we would go to on Sundays? right next to the orphanage. I don't think I can go back there? not alone again. I can't be alone anymore?" his sentences faded away as he slammed his eyes shut. He refused to let the tears flood his eyes again, but the haunting memories burrowed into his mind. "Orphanage?" His eyes opened quickly again. He looked up at her. She looked confused and sad, a desire to help him burning in her azure gaze. Taking a deep breath, he began to tell her of the car crash, the amnesia, the orphanage, the roses, and Dorothy Smith. She sat in silence, listening as he spilled the tale of the most horrible years of his life. And how only one thing had kept them bearable. One person? who was no longer alive. Who would never be there for him again. She bit her lip in pain when he told her that, had Dorothy not been there to love him and take care of him, he doubted he would have been able to stay sane, maybe even would have committed suicide long before. She listened patiently as he referred to the peers that would tease him for being different, make fun of him for always working in the gardens. She did not feel the tears streaming down her cheeks when he told her about the tea times, the jokes he and Dorothy had shared, and the constant loneliness he had felt whenever he wasn't with her. At the end of his tale, yet another silence draped over the two. It wasn't awkward, though. Instead, they each felt content, comfortable. Slowly, Serena lay her head down on his chest, letting his heartbeat filter through her mind. She curled her body against his, staring blankly at the evening dusk sky. Darien smiled. Next to Andrew, she was the only person he had ever told about the orphanage, and he hadn't even told Andrew everything he had just spilled to this angel. With one arm casually wrapped around her waist, the other began to stroke down one long ponytail, and gently over her back. This was comfortable, pleasant to them both. After awhile, she began to speak again. "You have to go to the funeral." Raising an eyebrow, he looked down on her, but could only see the gold mat on top of her head. He cleared his throat. "I don't think I can, Serena." "But you have to. She was so important to you, and this could be the last chance you ever have to say goodbye to her. You'll regret it if you don't." "But Serena, I?" "I'll go with you. If you're afraid of going alone and seeing all those kids from before, then I'll go with you." He chuckled slightly. "Don't be silly, Meatball Head. Thanks for the offer, but you've got school, remember? The funeral is at eleven." She rolled her eyes. "Nothing important is happening tomorrow. And my mom won't mind when I tell her the reason. Darien, you're much more important to me? and I think you should go." Darien gulped. "I'm? important to you?" She looked up surprised, smiling up at him through thick eyelashes. "Why do you think I'm here right now? Yes, you're important to me." She turned away slightly. "I care about you, and I want you to be happy?" He blinked a couple times before a smile dawned on his face. Without warning, he threw his arms around her, hugging her to him fiercely. She squealed in surprise. After his grip had loosened somewhat, she looked back into his cheerful eyes. "Serena, you have no idea how much it means to me to hear you say that. Thank you." She smiled back carefully. "Well? you're welcome? I guess. So? you'll pick me up around 10:30, then?" Darien's smile faded and his head fell back on the grass. "Serena, I don't know?" "I'll tell my mom about it, I'm sure it will be fine! Please Darien, I'd never be able to concentrate in school anyway, if I knew what you were dealing with. I'll be really good, please? I only want to help?" He sighed, closing his eyes. "10:00." "Huh?" "I'll pick you up at 10:00. But you have to make sure this is okay with your parents and everything." "Oh, no problem." She hugged him, wrapping her arms around his neck. He returned the favor, nuzzling his head in her golden bangs. "Thank you, Serena," he whispered. She backed away to look into his eyes. "I don't think you'll ever know how much I needed you today." She stared at him quietly before a bright smile dawned on her face. "I'm glad I could make you happy." They stared at each other for a moment before Darien managed to tear his gaze away and look up at the quickly darkening sky. "You should get home. I'm sure your parents are worried about you." She sighed. "Yeah? will you be okay?" He smiled up at her again. "I'll be fine." They stood silently and after Serena had dug through her book bag to find a pen and paper, she handed him her address and number. "If you need anything, you can always call?" He placed the paper in his pocket. "Thanks, Meatball Head. I'll see you tomorrow." With a loving grin, he kissed her forehead lightly before turning and making his way down the dirt pathway. Serena watched him go, wanting to smile and cry at the same time. With curved lips and glossy eyes, she made her way back home. PLEASE E-MAIL ME, TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE THINKING SO FAR!!! (See, I'm yelling? that's bad? gomen. ^_~) Luv and God bless! <3 Alicia