A fan fic by Caleyndar. Rating: PG. Notes: The war lies before the one who fears it. Friends of old return and support the Prince, but he must confont himself and the truths he barely knows. Yet he has guessed the bitter truth on The Soldier of Time and Space's face, he has glisped the outcome which Sailor Pluto will not speak of. And he too is unwilling to accept it... The song "My Only Love" was used in this chapter. It does not belong to me. Note what lyrics I used. They echo the future. Email: caleyndar@tac.com.au URL: http://members.xoom.com/portalsms/ UIN: 26786123 Free feel to contact me for whatever reason. I'll do my best to answer any questions you have. Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me; only the few I make up. The story, however, is mine. The Name Endymion... Part Five: The War of Peace... Chapter Four... Lights blinked in the darkness, in the void that filled the whole view port. There were no stars, just the many thousands of battle cruisers against the backdrop of nothing. The Space Divider field. It seemed almost darker than normal empty space. It had the menace of a black hole, but this was a human creation. Some time had passed. A day and a night, though out here, without a sun or ground, day and night was only marked by man and his little ticking contraption known as a clock. Most of my powers had returned, and I was once again flawless physically, and dressed in my full armour, complete with sword and cape. The thought of having such accessories out here was almost laughable. After all, how much use would a heavy board sword be against laser fire? And the cape would only get in the way. But such thoughts were trivial, and they only covered my deeper thoughts. Thoughts which I did not want to think about, but none the less bothered me, refusing to leave me in peace. Peace. Elios had said a short time of peace would follow the ordeal on Earth. Where had that vanished to? But Endymion, what did you wish for? You never meant that you wanted world peace. You wanted peace of mind. You wanted to be happy. And were you not content and at peace when you spent those few short days with Serenity? I think I smiled. Nick and Dawn would be arriving today. I could not wait until I saw them again. Weeks have passed since I was with them, and I missed them dearly. They had been right, hadn?t they? That I would return. I bowed my head. One thing I still hated myself for was returning to Earth. It was pointless. Yes, I had learnt much about myself and about life, but at what cost? The death of three loved ones? And my horse. Wild Spirit. That death was on the border line. He had always been Elios. And Elios had been an Angel. "Endymion?" Serenity?s soft voice asked from behind me. She never did make a sound when she walked. Her hand touched me gently on my arm, warm and caring even through the thick black cloth. "Serenity," I breathed the name, my arm winding itself around her waist and pulling her closer. Never mind we stood on the main deck in the command center, and that dozens of officers were there. I pressed my lips to her bare shoulder, just holding her against me. "I feel helpless," I whispered. "Fifteen years of my life I have been a normal boy, without a care in the world except to hand homework on in time. Now this. So many lives resting apon my shoulders." She caressed my head, letting my fine black hair slip through her delicate fingers. "Trust in yourself, Endymion. Your heart is pure. Whatever you do will be right." I wanted to say that was not true. That she said only these things to comfort me. Because I believed that I only did these things so in the end I could be happy and at peace, within the arms of the one I loved. But I did not. I just held her tighter, eyes staring out into the darkness. "Your friends will be arriving soon," Serenity said softly after moments of silence. "We grow up too fast," I sighed, releasing her from my embrace and stepping back. "Innocence slips to quickly from our fingers like sand. But," I smiled, eyes shining with playful intent, "there will come a day, somewhere far away, in your arms I?ll stay, my only love," I sang softly under my breath. She laughed with delight and pulled me towards the elevator which would take us down to the landing bays. I grinned boyishly and let her lead the way. We were the only ones to greet Nick and Dawn. Our guards were else where, talking over possible tactics, backup plans, attacks, weapons. It was their element. I wondered though, how effective our magical powers would be in the vacuum of deep space. Their shuttle landed with the continuous hum of repulser engines, and then a loud clank as it set down on the metal deck. With the usual hiss of pressure releasing, the hatch lowered, revealing the handsome tall figure dressed in black with golden blond hair and bright blue eyes. His face broke out into a grin when he saw me, and forgetting all his training, ran down the ramp like a child and threw his arms around me. I laughed as his momentum almost knocked me over, and over Nick?s shoulder I could see Dawn shaking her head, trying not to smile. She walked down the ramp more slowly and smiled at Serenity. "Hey, you?ve got quite a catch there, Darien," Nick whispered into my ear. "Now didn?t I tell you that you two belong together? So, how was your visit to home sweet home?" I fell sombre, and held him away from me. "My family is dead, Nick." He face faltered. "I?m really sorry, Darien." "You should not be. It was my fault," I answered quietly. "Well, at least White Angel is well. Luke?s looking after her. I can?t say that about Wild Spirit though. Perhaps he?s looking out for me?" "You mean your horse is dead as well?" Nick asked, frowning. "Yes," I said, looking down at the ground. I did not want to tell him everything, and my action seemed to say to my best friend to move onto another topic of conversation. "So, want to fill me in on what all this is about?" Nick asked. We had started walking back up to the command center, Serenity and Dawn walking in front of us. "The Sun Kingdom?s forces are on the move, and their target seems to be the Crystal Star Kingdom. Held behind the Space Divider Field is the Eighth Sailor Soldier, Sailor Saturn, the Soldier of Death and Rebirth. We think they plan to use her in some way to destroy the universe," I answered grimly. "Well, the outlook for the universe is terror and destruction!" Nick attempted to joke, but his face fell even more. "We heard that there would be a conference about permanently ending the war between the Earth and Moon Kingdom, and that the leaders of the Shadow Kingdom had been either killed or defeated. I guess we were too optimistic to think that a time of peace would follow." He fell silent for a moment. We walked on down the sterile corridors that resembled those of hospitals. "Hey, I also heard you?re in command of the entire Earth Kingdom now?" "Yes. But I wish somewhat that I was not. It?s too much responsibility to have billions of lives in my hand. And you know me. I am not very confident," I replied. "Maybe, but it?s good to be cautious," Nick answered easily. "And I mean, you have to be cautious around someone like Dawn. Otherwise, you?ll get a bashing before you even know what you?ve done wrong!" Nick whispered loudly into my ear. Serenity tried not to giggle, and Dawn just stopped in her tracks, fists knotted. "I will pretend I did not here that, Nicolas!" she growled through clenched teeth before storming on ahead. With life, comes changes. On the surface, as I looked at the smiling faces seated before me, laughing and seemingly carefree, little was different. We were all older, some of us a little more mature. But still we seemed like teenagers who loved life and was innocent to its cruelty. But once you scratch the surface, you find the truth. Two of them, perhaps the most child like still, had been torn away from everything they had ever known or loved, and subjected to training which hurt them both mentally and physically. Another one had been tortured on different levels, physically by enemies, spiritually by the one she loved. And the last, the boy who was hardly a man, had lost his family, killed his Father, and believed himself responsible for all the suffering and sorrow in the universe. We all grow up sometime. Whether we wanted it or no. Was it not better then, to know yourself and all that you were responsible for than to linger in ignorance and seek peace and comfort in what you know makes you happy? Please, sweet mind, please, do not travel there. Do as you promised yourself! Stop these people who threaten your very existence and the lives of others! But do not ask questions you can not answer. And do not try to understand others. You do not even understand yourself. You are what you are. Be content with that, and just live. Do everything you can to stay alive and die afterwards. Yes, but I am immortal, no? Mentally I hit and cursed myself. The almost silent swoosh of the door grabbed my attention from the dark void I had drifted to. The four of us had been conversing on the command deck, seated around a low metal and bullet proof glass table, and now others were to join us. The four Inner Soldiers and my generals filed into the room, their presence instantly felt and respected. "The latest calculations show that the main fleet of the Sun Kingdom?s forces will be arriving tomorrow at thirteen hundred hours. If no problems are encountered, one of the two Earth Kingdom fleets will arrive approximately one hour before, and the other, three hours after the enemy?s fleet. The Moon Kingdom?s fleet should be here at fifteen hundred hours tomorrow, and the Dark Dragon?s forces will be arriving at eight hundred hours tomorrow," Mercury said as soon as everyone had gathered around the small table. "However, we have also received news of the Black Moon Kingdom and the Shadow Kingdom?s forces have allianced themselves to the Sun Kingdom. Their motive for this is somewhat unclear, but we suspect it to be revenge like in nature. Their estimated time of arrival is at fourteen hundred hours tomorrow," Mercury concluded, activating a small device which showed the information in the form of a hologram in the air centred above the table. "To summarise that, we will have two fleets here before the Sun Kingdom?s forces arrive," Nephrite said shortly. "We also have our current Dark Dragon star fleet, which makes three. However, as of fourteen hundred hours, those three fleets will most likely be over powered, as the technology of the Shadow Kingdom is much more advanced than what any of the other fleets in the galaxy have. Even when the second fleet from the Earth Kingdom and the Moon Kingdom?s fleet arrives, our chances of victory are not good to say the least." "Alright," I said, letting out a breath of distressed air, a headache already brewing in my head. "Forget that for now. Tell me when my Mother and Queen Selenity arrives. I want to end one situation before another blows up in my face." "They should arrive tonight, nineteen hundred hours," Kunzite said. "That?s good. It will give us a little time before the predicted fighting starts," I muttered more to myself than any of the others. "What of the three Outer Soldiers?" "We are here," the omniscient voice of a women said quietly yet with command from an area of space I could not see. Even without turning around, I knew who had spoken. I think I hated her. And I hated myself for feeling such a strong dislike towards her. She who knew all things, she who could glimpse into the future. She was the only one who had the power to change things for the better. Yet she did nothing. She watched like a petty goddess on the sidelines, enjoying the suffering of others. But that was a lie. Perhaps I told myself those things to soothe myself. Why else did we deceive ourselves? No, Pluto, the Soldier of Time and Space, had once said to me, when I was a little less wise to the ways of the world, that she hated knowing all these things, that she wished she could change them. But she was afraid. Afraid to take apon herself responsibility. So why did I hate her? Because she was a coward in a way. For not taking that risk for a better future, for a better life. She would rather live with knowing the horrific outcome of a situation than to step in and change it, and live with the guilt should her judgement be wrong. So why did I hate myself for thinking this way? Because she was also very brave and strong. Did I think she did not suffer to know such things? And had she not at times broken down and corrected what she thought was wrong, even if it meant hurting others more? My mind raced back to the time we had stood face to face on another world, Serenity?s life threatened in the distance, and she blocking my way to her. I closed my eyes. That seemed like an eternity ago. Certainly another lifetime. I rose and greeted the three soldiers who had entered via a portal already disbursed. Uranus nodded to me, and Neptune smiled. Pluto?s expression was blank. I knew what that meant. I dared not ask. I feared the answer too much. "Uranus and Neptune are the guardians of the Crystal Star Kingdom, is that not correct?" I asked, slightly amazed at how clam and collected my voice sounded to me. "How will their defenses hold up against the fire power we predict the oppositions to have?" "Magic and technology do not interact well with one another. However, technology can not manipulate magic, but our powers will certain cause some harm to their hardware," Uranus said shortly. "But of course, our powers are not unlimited, and we do not have a fraction of what an entire star fleet has at its finger tips. We will be over powered, and quickly at that." "And we must also note that the Shadow Kingdom has inventions which can absorb our powers and use them against us," Mercury spoke up. "That is shit," Nick said a little too loudly. "It?s life," I answered. "And well, shit happens." All the soldiers and generals looked at me as if I had just started speaking in another language. Nick and Dawn tried not to be amused, but in the end, they laughed out loud. "Earth saying?" I said with a shrug. "Anyway, how in particular can they breech a Space Divider Field? I thought space was non existent in the field, thus nothing could pass through?" "By theory, every field must have a source from which it is emitted. This field is spherical, and is like a globe or an enormous sphere. One would then deduct that the source would be inside the sphere, like a nucleus of an atom. But some of my calculations would suggest otherwise. As if the energy controlling the field is on the outside of it, and continuously moving," Mercury trailed off, absorbed by the screen of her hand held computer which fed her numbers at an incredible rate. "If the source is outside, then they would attack the source, not the field itself," I muttered. "Damn it. Could we work out what and where this energy source is?" "The energy source itself is more like the powers we possess. Unfortunately, no. It?s as if the source does not want to reveal itself," Mercury said, eyes never leaving her screen, fingers flying over the keys. "There is not much else we can do. We do have plans for attack, but we do not wish to be the first to open fire. We will have to wait until the opposition arrives and watch their strategy," Venus sighed, leaning back against Kunzite. Everyone looked very tired. "Well, let?s all get some rest before Queen Selenity and Queen Giai arrive," I said softly, reaching down and helping Serenity to her feet. "We would be little use in fighting if we are too exhausted." Jadeite raised an eyebrow. "Do I detect an underlying meaning to that?" he wondered, elbowing me, a smile with mischief on his boyish face, eyes glittering. Mars hit him in the head and dragged him from the command bridge. "What did he mean by that?" I asked, looking at the backs of the departing two. Nick stood and rolled his eyes at me. "Never mind, Darien. Never mind." He paused, as if thinking, before speaking in a serious voice. "Hey, if you need a friend to talk to, I?m always here for you, okay?" I smiled at him and nodded. "Thanks, Nick." In silence I watched as my friends and guards walked out with their loved ones. Uranus and Neptune left together also. And then I looked down at my hand clasping Serenity?s so tightly. Her tender face peered back up at mine, and I could not help but smile. But Pluto still stood on the command deck, her ivory staff held in one hand, the other hanging like a dead thing at her side. She stared into the darkness with a sad expression on her face. "Serenity, can you please go and rest?" I asked softly, lifting her hand to my lips. I turned her small hand until I reached her open palm, and to this I pressed my lips. A kiss of request. "There are things I must know, or die trying to uncover. Please, I will join you shortly." She nodded, understanding my intent perfectly. "I love you, Endymion," she whispered before turning and hurrying off the command bridge. "Do not waste you breath, Prince Endymion. You know I can not tell you the outcome of this war of peace," Pluto said quietly, her voice without emotion, made so by her will. "This is a war of peace?" I questioned, coming up beside her, letting my eyes wander the darkness and the tiny lights. "The War of Peace." I sighed. "How can two so different things be placed together?" "Hate and Love. That is one and the same. So can not War and Peace be too?" she replied. "Yes, this is a war of peace. It is the outcome of humans attempting to bring peace to this universe. Peace in this scenario is silence and death." "So there are many definitions for peace. Well, will this war end peacefully?" I asked, playing on the word with a slight smile tugging at the corners of my lips. "Of course," was her short blank answer. "If you will not tell me how this will end, who will live or die, then tell me why Sailor Saturn is destined to destroy this universe. Can she not judge for herself? Can she not question what is right and wrong?" I demanded in a low voice. "Sailor Saturn in an innocent child, Prince Endymion. Her destiny is to never grow old. She lies sleeping within the Crystal Star Kingdom, and when she is awoken, when the curtains of darkness have been lifted from her eyes, she will do what she is destined to. She will say the only words she knows and destroy the universe, and create a new one from its ashes. "Humans, because of the nature, because they seek to find a purpose, a finality to all that is in existence, will attempt to create what is not their?s to create. In doing so, they will destroy that which they were born from. The Sun Kingdom does not wish for death. They wish to know the final truth to life. They believe Sailor Saturn, the Soldier of Death and Rebirth, will know the answers to all their questions. "Sailor Saturn has existed since the beginning, since this universe was conceived. You have been told that the Crystal Star Kingdom locked itself away a few hundred years ago. No one knows that for a fact. Records have been lost, destroyed. But what is known is that all the Sailor Soldiers have existed since time began. In other forms, but always the same soul. We have died, we have changed, and we are now mortals. Saturn, though she existed, did not know of her destiny or her powers. She was always the child, the innocent girl. However, she awoke centuries ago, realised her powers, her fate. And then she alone was locked within the Space Divider Field. There is no kingdom. Only one soul," Pluto?s last words were a whispered, as if she dared not talk of this loudly. I did not answer at first. I reflected on what she had told me. And I felt immense pity for the Soldier of Death and Rebirth. To be alone for so many years. To be without that which we needed to survive. Love, the company of other souls. What would it be like? Was it like death? "Who locked her away?" I asked in a small voice. "That I do not know. Who had the power?" she answered, lowering her gaze to the cold metal floor. "But the name. Why name it the Crystal Star Kingdom?" she wondered before turning away from the view port. A wave of her hand and a dark portal appeared. "I must guard the Time Gate. I will return when I am needed." She stepped through and was gone. All this was said and done before I could answer her question. But it did not matter. I did not know the answer. I sank back into the fear and depression that had long ago become my constant companion. Despite the many humans than monitored the command ship apon which I stood, I felt very alone. I did not like to be alone. It made me think thoughts I did not wish to ponder, walk down dark roads I did not want to travel. To be alone was to fear. And I disliked fear. I disliked pain. I feared pain. She stood in her pure white and silver gown, the golden mass of her hair spilling down her back and almost touching the richly carpeted floor of our suit of rooms. She seemed not to stand on the ground, but rather floated. Like the angel she resembled. To the darkness she looked, and I was not graced with her sweet smile as I stepped into our rooms. Her eyes were fixed to where Sailor Saturn slept, as mine had been earlier in the day. The Darkness always called out to the Light. "Do you dream of our future?" her voice asked moments after the door closed behind me. This question I had not predicted, and I was at a loss for words. Frankly, I had not thought much of the future beyond that I wanted peace, beyond that I wanted to hold her in my arms for eternity. And did I believe, perhaps deep in my soul, that we did not have a future? That with the sense of finality I felt from this War of Peace, as Sailor Pluto put it, I also thought we would die? "When this war is over, do you think we?ll have any children?" she continued. "My dream is to create a galaxy where there is no war, where innocent children can grow up knowing happiness, without doubts of their lives being severed because of other?s greed." "You have such immense and pure dreams," I said softly, letting blue energy wash over me and clothing my weary body in comfortable black cloths. "And you always see that which is good about people, about the world in general. That is, you always believe there is a better side, a brighter future. It is like you are the light, the hope, and that I am the darkness, the doubt. I wonder if I am bad for you, because as much as I hate to admit it, I fear our future may not exist at all." "Endymion, it is natural to fear such things. I do too. I can not tell you to be optimist as I try to be, but conjuring up the worst scenario is not the answer either," she said strongly, turning around and walking up to me until we were at arms length. "Let me put this to you in another way. If this war ends with our death, if Sailor Saturn is awoken, then that is the end. But what about the other way this could go? What if we win, and peace follows? Have you not planned for that?" The ugly truth hit me. I wanted this war to end with my destruction. And perhaps I wanted Serenity to die with me? Could that be why? Why I did not even think of our future? Why I have always wanted peace? Because the final peace was death! In a fluster of movements I had stumbled backwards, mouth gaping open and close like a fish out of water, eyes wide and unbelieving. Dear God, if this war killed me, I would not have to think about the Golden Crystal, I would not have to live with the guilt. But. But what? Why was it so important that Serenity and I be together? Why the intertwined symbol? "Plans, plans," I whispered frantically when I saw her expression apon noticing my own bewildered one. "I can not think so much as of tomorrow so engrossed am I with my own petty life. Please do not look at me like so. I have told you before. I am weak. And the truth is simply this: I want this war to kill me! Yes, I am a coward because I can not even bring myself to knife out my own heart, and because I could not bare to see your tender face cry for me when I die, knowing that I caused it directly!" Her hand slapped me across my face, the pain stinging, the shock running through my body. "How do you think I feel when you say such things!" she demanded. "Endymion, I love you. Life without you would be not worth living. Please, just do not say you want to die. Do not even think of it. Live for me. Live because you love me," she sobbed, throwing her arms around my neck and pulling me close. "Please don?t leave me. It hurts to not have you near me. And I fear pain too." Her last words mildly surprised me. She knew me so well that she realised it was what I was thinking, what I felt. My arms surrounded her small body and held her in my tight embrace. It was only then that I realised we were both crying. ?I do not understand why you love me, Serenity. Time after time I appear a coward and a human being not worth living to myself. What do I appear to you? What do you appear to yourself? And how do I see you in my eyes? You are the Angel, you are a goddess. Myself? I am but a mortal fool.? Thoughts of one on the verge of sleep. In each others arms we laid, seemingly peaceful. But our minds? They were not. Cried we did, until we were to exhausted to cry. The silent tears dried and sleep beckoned us. But still in this sleep we thought of the future; our own futures. We did not know where the road would lead us. We had no choice but to follow. And on the borderline of sleep, Pluto?s sad solemn face appeared before me; the messenger of Death. Hours later I awoke. Serenity slept beside me, her face peaceful, happy, and sad, smoothed in sleep. For long moments I merely watched her breath, but inevitably, my thoughts drifted to the hours before. With my out pour of emotions, my deepest fears of myself, what new light has been shed apon my soul? In the past, I had feared failure. What did I fear now? I feared pain. But failure and pain were connect. They were one and the same. If I failed to win this war, I feared the pain of dying. If I failed to lose this war, I feared the pain of guilt, of having to arrive at a decision concerning my final destiny. And both ways, I feared the pain of losing Serenity. So what have I learnt? That I must be brave. That I could no longer be a coward. That I could not decide for myself the path I must walk down, because I could not make such a choice considering of all the factors involved, and because I had no way of knowing how things would be. There was an eerie peace in not knowing one?s future, to know that to an extent you were helpless and subject to the whims of destiny and fate. But Pluto. Her expression had said it all. It had told of the outcome of this war. And I was powerless to divert it?s course. Hope, Endymion. Pray. Wish it would not be true. After all, it was that speck of hope, was it not, that you feared the other paths? Yes, hope. Or denial. End Part Five, Chapter Four.