A fan fic by Caleyndar.
Rating: PG-13 (adult content).

Notes: The relationship between Shinji Ikari and Kaworu
Nagisa is developed further. Will Shinji open up to this 
boy known as the Fifth Child? And of Prince Endymion. What
is the cause of his longing to end his existance? Will 
Usagi be able to help him? 

Email: caleyndar@tac.com.au
URL: http://members.xoom.com/portalsms/
	
Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me. The story, 
however, is mine.


Closed Palms...

"It is said that one who hides his palms is without a soul, 
or is one who is content to live in solace from society, 
one who has come to peace with what they are and has 
discovered their own purpose."

Part One: Awakening...

Chapter Two...

	The monitoring room for the sync ratio tests was 
disturbingly quiet, despite the large number of people who 
stood within the relatively small chamber. Through large 
bullet proof windows one could see three cylindrical tubes 
half immersed in a coloured liquid, and on displays were the 
faces of three children, each with their eyes closed, 
concentrating. Two belonged to Shinji and Kaworu. The third 
a girl with light blue hair and an usually pale complexion.
	A man, past his prime, dressed in uniform leaned 
over and asked something of one of the officers, and a look 
of confusion crossed his face when a reply was given. 
	"This is amazing..." the man muttered. "How is it 
possible for the Fifth Child to synchronise with Unit 02 
before replacing the core?"
	"It isn?t possible, not on this system," the woman 
officer said quietly.
	Four of the girls who had visited the Second Child 
before in her hospital room now stood at the back of the 
room. Ami looked very interested in what they were doing, 
but the others merely looked confused and out of place. 
	"What are they talking about?" Minako asked, 
scratching her head with a finger. 
	"They speak of the Fifth Child, who arrived yesterday 
to replace Asuka. It appears he is gifted with he ability to 
synchronise with Unit 02 before removing the core which was 
made for Asuka. In other words, it is as if he is able to 
make his life patterns or signals like that of Asuka..." Ami 
trailed off, once more amazed at the technology they were 
using.
	"Err... Okay, if you say so, Ami," a tall and well 
built brown haired girl said, looking just as confused still, 
shrugging. "I just wish they would hurry up and finish. It?s 
past lunch time, and I promised Shinji I?ll cook lunch for 
him today."
	"Makoto, you are just as bad as Usagi!" the Soldier 
of Fire said.
	"Rei..." Ami said, shaking her head.
	"What I can?t understand is how Usagi could give up 
Makoto?s home made lunch to spend time with that emotionless 
man!" Minako exclaimed in a hushed voice. 
	"It is her choice," Ami, the obvious peace keeper of 
the group said.
	A comfortable silence feel between them as they 
waited until the Major said to the three children that the 
sync test was over, and that they could hit the showers. On 
the display monitor, the girls could see Shinji open his 
eyes, sighing with relief. The grey haired boy only smiled 
warmly. And the blue haired girl expressed no emotion at all.

	It felt strange to Shinji, that he was not alone in 
the changing rooms. Always, he had been the only male pilot 
of the Evangelions. And now there was the Fifth Child, Kaworu 
Nagisa. It was not that he disliked the boy. On the contrary, 
the Third Child liked Kaworu as a friend. He was someone he 
could talk to, even though they had known each other for 
less than half a day. 
	"Where will you go from here?" Kaworu asked suddenly, 
breaking the silence.
	"Well, I?ll have a shower first... I dislike LCL. It 
smells like blood..." Shinji said softly. "And then I am 
going to Makoto?s apartment on Earth to have lunch, I 
suppose. There?s nothing else for me to do. I don?t want to 
go home..."
	Kaworu smiled at him. "The fact that you have a home, 
a place where you can return to, should make you happy," he 
said, walking over and reaching out to touch Shinji?s heart. 
	Shinji looked down at where Kaworu?s hand touched his 
bare flesh, having just removed his plug suit. His touch was 
warm, comforting. It made him feel at peace, almost happy. 
The boy blushed and stepped back, shaking his head. "No, it 
is not my real home. I lost my home when my Mother died..." 
Yet he could not help but ask, was his Mother really dead? 
The First Child. Rei...
	The Fifth Child smiled softly again. "You feel much 
pain, Shinji... I would like to talk with you some more, 
before you leave. May I take a shower with you?"
	"What!" Shinji exclaimed, without thinking, blushing 
furiously.
	Kaworu laughed softly. "I mean, may I talk with you 
when you have your shower, Shinji."
	"Oh! Um, I suppose..." Shinji stuttered, 
embarrassment reddening his face.
	The two sat in the common bath, having showered. 
Steam rose around them, making the air thick and warm. The 
taller boy, Kaworu, had his head leaning back on the tiles, 
eyelids closed, hiding the red orbs. Shinji sat next to him, 
just a little distance away, staring at nothing. Even now, 
it was unmistakable, the sadness that resided in his soul.
	"You dislike others touching you? As in being close 
to another of your kind?" Kaworu asked without looking at 
Shinji nor opening his eyes. 
	"I dislike being hurt. I?ve been betrayed too many 
times," Shinji answered quietly. 
	"Shielding yourself from others may protect you from 
betrayal and pain, but it will also bring the sting of 
loneliness. And that is something many humans can not live 
with. It is why mankind chooses to live in cities such as 
this. To be together, yet apart at the same time," Kaworu 
said softly, opening his eyes and looking at the profile of 
Shinji sitting beside him.
	The boy said nothing. He only stared at his open 
palms held out of the warm water. Kaworu suddenly reached 
out and clasped Shinji?s hands in his own. The contact made 
Shinji turn and stare into Kaworu?s warm face. His own 
darkened a shade as he blushed.
	"Does even such contact make you wish to recoil?" 
Kaworu wondered aloud. "I can feel you pain, Shinji. You 
heart is fragile like glass. It makes me feel sympathy for 
you."
	Shinji?s brow creased in a frown, signalling his 
lack of understanding.
	"I am saying, I love you," Kaworu smiled.
	The dark haired boy stared wide eyed at his 
companion, who stood now, looking down at him. Always the 
warm smile, the light. He offered his love without condition. 
Nothing was expected in return. And this, Shinji could not 
quite grasp nor understand.
	"Come, Shinji. Do you not have friends waiting for 
you outside?" Kaworu?s voice asked as he stepped out of the 
bath and gathered two towels with the word Nerv printed in 
red letters across it. One he gracefully wrapped around his 
waist. The other he delicately did the same for Shinji. 
	At Kaworu?s actions, Shinji could find no voice to 
bring to life his words. 
	Kaworu only laughed softly, red eyes shining with 
the radiance of life. And leaning forward, quickly pressed 
his almost colourless lips to the other boy?s flushed cheek. 
"Remember, I am here for you, whenever you wish, Shinji," 
Kaworu whispered as he pulled back, hand caressing Shinji?s 
neck. 
	Shinji stared at the back of the other boy, his eyes 
involuntarily dipping to the slender waist. The Third Child 
blushed again, and looked quickly away, forcing his heart to 
slow its pace. With some control over his emotions again, 
Shinji followed Kaworu to get changed.
	Shinji faced his locker as he pulled his slightly 
rumpled school uniform on. He had very few casual pieces of 
clothing, and in the last few days, he found no will to 
gather together another outfit. Kaworu?s locker closed with 
a soft metallic thud, and his footsteps told he was walking 
towards to door. Panic ceased Shinji then, a tightening 
about the chest. 
	"Wait, Kaworu!" Shinji called out, turning to face 
the other boy, his voice thick in his throat. 
	"Yes, Shinji?" Kaworu asked, his smile always ready 
to be given. 
	"Um, I was wondering, well, would you like to join 
me at Makoto?s? I mean, I?m sure she won?t mind. She always 
makes more food than we can eat. That is, if you want to, 
Kaworu..." Shinji trailed off, his face becoming red again. 
	Kaworu smiled at his new companion. "Of course, 
Shinji. I would be delighted."

	The four girls, otherwise known as the Inner Senshi, 
sat impatiently in chairs in the corridor outside of the 
boys change room. It had been over half an hour since the 
two younger boys had disappeared behind the door, and all of 
them were getting hungry. 
	"How long does it take to get changed?" Mars 
demanded, standing up and crossing her arms across her chest. 
"I do not even take this long when I wash my hair!"
	"The Japanese culture often takes baths in which 
they relax after the day?s work," Ami said quietly, not 
bothering to look up from her book. 
	"They take baths? How many baths do they have in 
there?" Minako asked, looking confused once again, peering 
at the still closed door.
	"There is one communal bath which all share together," 
Ami answered, glancing up and pushing her reading glasses up 
with a swift motion of her slender hand. 
	The other three stared wide eyed at her, mouth 
gaping open. 
	"They are in there naked, together!" Minako exclaimed. 
	No one had any time to reply to Minako?s explosion. 
Kaworu had opened the opposite door, a smile gracing his 
young face. One of Kaworu?s hand was hidden, shoved 
carelessly into his pocket. The other hand trailed behind 
him. To be locked onto Shinji?s wrist. The other boy emerged, 
his face tinted red, yet he was smiling softly. 
	Minako leaned over to whisper in Ami?s ear. "Is that 
part of Japanese culture?"
	"Ah, Makoto, is it alright if Kaworu joins us for 
lunch?" Shinji stuttered. 
	Silence. 
	"Yes, of course, Shinji! We had better hurry though, 
otherwise it will become dinner!" Makoto said, waving her 
hand in the air as if trying to brush away her embarrassment.
	"Thankyou, Makoto," Shinji and Kaworu replied at the 
same time. 
	Everyone laughed at that, breaking the tension. 

	The light from the sun chased away all shadows 
during the day on the moon. The flowers seemed to reach out 
and up, drinking in the warmth, the energy. Perhaps it was 
the magic, perhaps it was the tranquillity, but here, on the 
moon, the Prince of Darkness did not feel the pain of 
hopelessness so much nor so sharply. Almost as if he had the 
strength, the will, to go on living.
	If they had not locked him away. If they had not 
shut him out from this universe. What would have become of 
him? With that darkness within the coffin he had drifted, 
slept. He had the pleasure of forgetting all of his past, if 
only for a few million years. Had things been different, 
what would have happened? Perhaps, just perhaps, he would 
have done it. That horrendous act... But no. That was wrong, 
wasn?t it? Oh, but it could bring it to an end. All of it. 
His suffering, his pain, and the whole wide world, the 
universe, this entire realm. That was why, when all was said 
and done, that they had locked him away, prayed that no one
would ever awaken the being that could not die unless the 
world followed him. Not because of all the other unspeakable 
horrors he had done before hand...
	So why would he now not help these people who had 
summoned him, wrenched him away from his illusion of death? 
Was it bitterness for that deprivation? No. He did not, 
could not, feel such things. Really, he felt nothing. 
Nothing aside from the eternal longing in his soul. Ah, did 
he even have one? And this longing. It was for more than 
death. There was something more.
	This war though. The beings known as the Angels. 
There was something he should remember, old legends, myths. 
But he could not, and he did not really care. He was so 
tried. And the last thing he wanted was to summon the old 
powers he knew to be dormant in his eternal body and fight 
these Angels. After all, Angels were the messengers of God... 
So why fight them?
	"Prince Endymion?"
	That voice. It made him want to smile. If only he 
knew how to truly smile. Perhaps on his physical shell it 
showed. But no light reached his heart. It was only 
superficial, those smiles he had given the Soldier of Time 
and Space, Sailor Pluto. 
	"You did not go to the world which you guard, the 
world you call Earth," the Prince stated quietly, turning 
his head to face the young Princess of the Moon. The girl 
was no longer dressed in her long silver gown which made her 
look just a little too fragile and delicate. Now she wore 
casual clothing, a sweater tied carelessly around her almost 
too narrow waist. 
	"No, I wanted to see if I could make you smile!" the 
girl replied with a friendly grin. 
	The man looked at her blankly, innocent blue eyes 
seeming to search deep into her soul.
	"Just joking," Usagi said quickly, waving it away. 
"But why are you always so sad? You smile, but the light 
does not reach your eyes," she said softly, all childish 
manner leaving as if it had been another person; twins 
within the same body.
	There it was again. Something which touched a part 
of him deep within. It made him frown slightly because of 
the confusion it brought him. Was he fearful of this feeling? 
Yet he... He liked it, didn?t he? His locks of black hair 
fell over his sapphire eyes as he shook his head slightly, 
and then focused his eyes on her. 
	"You are young and naive, Princess Serenity. I have 
existed since...? Endymion began, but trailed off. When had 
he come into being? Had he even been born? Or had he always 
just existed? Pain again. This was part of it. It always had 
been. Not knowing where he had come from, if he had family, 
parents. It was as if he was just dumped in this universe, 
burdened with immense power, driven by fate and 
conscienceless beings to pain and guilt beyond endurance. 
Yet what was his purpose here? Why was he here?
	He turned away sharply and started to walk away, 
only to be stopped by a small warm hand touching his own 
bare hand. 
	"I may be young, I may act like little more than a 
child. But I care, and I want to try and help. Please, tell 
me what troubles you. It is always good to pass the burden, 
if only in words, to another..." the girl said softly, 
pleadingly. 
	Such a kind and generous heart. How long would it 
last in this world? In which a war raged? Yet all he could 
think of was her offer. It was tempting yes, to pour out his 
hideous tale to another being. But could he bare it? To see 
her revolution? What would he seem to her once she knew of 
all the things that had made him into what he was now? Ah, 
Prince of Darkness, why do you care?
	"Please, Prince Endymion..." the young girl pressed 
again. When no answer came, but no movement nor gesture to 
move away, she continued. "You need not tell me anything if 
you do not want to... But know I will be here for you. I am 
your friend, okay?" Smiles again. Her sweetness, her 
brightness. It could light up the world and more.
	But it was not her smile. It was her words that 
shocked him. His friend? True friendship. Did she offer that 
to him? So openly... He did not trust her. How many beings 
would give and expect nothing in return? Surely not these 
people who had awoken him and asked him to fight their war. 
Yet, her voice, her smile... She was offering her friendship, 
her trust. For nothing other than that he be happy, that he 
have peace of mind, if only for an instant. 
	"True friendship is hard to come by, Princess 
Serenity. Fewer still offer it when there is a risk it will 
not be returned. You are different from others in that your 
heart is pure, and thus will be easily wounded," Endymion 
said quietly, turning his head to look down at her small 
form. There is was again. The smile wanting to form. But not 
just a hollow smile. A sincere one. 
	Delight lit up her face as she glimpsed the corner 
of his lips tugging upwards. Her own smile widened as she 
looked up at the older man. "Does this mean you accept me as 
your friend then?" she asked, joy evident in her voice. 
	He nodded, certifying her question without words, 
and gave the faintest smile. 
	
	Makoto?s apartment was filled with greenery, and 
well furnished enough to have the feeling of being a home. 
Luckily, this little place away from home was located on the 
outskirts of Tokyo 3, and was not demolished when Unit 00 
had self destructed to destroy the Sixteenth Angel. That was 
not so with the other apartments the Inner Senshi had kept 
here once they began defending Earth. The Outer Senshi had
never bothered, staying on the Moon unless needed. 
	Once she had settled her five guests comfortably in 
the dining room, Makoto set to work preparing her late lunch. 
Shinji was quiet as always, and just sat at the table looking 
down at the place mat with roses on it, hands clasped in his 
lap. Kaworu, on the other hand, smiled warmly and asked 
friendly questions.
	"I don?t believe we have been introduced properly." 
Wide smile. "I am Kaworu, Kaworu Nagisa, the Fifth Child and 
current pilot of Evangelion Unit 02. I am fourteen years old, 
and I was born on the day of the Second Impact. Unfortunately, 
I do not have any family."
	"Oh, that is sad," Minako said. A pause. "Well, nice 
to meet you, Kaworu. I am Minako Aino, and otherwise known 
as Sailor Venus!" she said proudly, giving a V sign with her 
hand. "We?re all sixteen years old, and we live on the Moon!" 
A slight giggle with brought another smile from Kaworu.
	"I am Rei Hino or Sailor Mars," the raven haired girl 
said, offering her hand to Kaworu. 
	The two shook hands, and something made Rei flinch. 
However, it was so slight that no one else noticed, and if 
Kaworu did, he chose not to acknowledge it. 
	"Oh yeah, the bookworm here is Ami Mizuno, aka 
Sailor Mercury. She?s the Brains of our little group," 
Minako said for the girl who was even now reading a text 
book. "And the one in the kitchen is Makoto Kino, aka Sailor 
Jupiter. She is the best cook you?ll ever come across!"
	"Ah, I do not find that hard to believe. The scent 
of the food she is preparing appeals very much to my senses," 
Kaworu said with a wide smile. 
	"Humm... Kaworu, what do you do besides from 
piloting Evangelions?" Minako asked, putting her elbows on 
the table and supporting her head with her clasped hands, 
and taking the air of one such as a reporter or interviewer. 
	"I try to make others happy!" he said without 
hesitation. "I hope to make Shinji happy," Kaworu added, and 
beamed at the boy sitting next to him. When Shinji only 
blushed again, the other boy hugged him, his smile widening 
on his joy filled face. 
	The three girls could find no voice to make a 
comment. Shinji smiled somewhat weakly at Kaworu, and gently 
removed the Fifth Child?s arms from around him.
	"Ah, anything besides from that?" Minako pressed 
after the uncomfortable silence had passed.
	The red eyed boy looked thoughtful for a moment and 
then answered: "I enjoy music. I believe that it is the 
highest culture that Lilims have created."
	Minako and Rei looked at him blankly. "Err... Lilims?" 
they both asked.
	"He refers to mankind," Ami said, looking up at the 
Fifth Child. "The word ?Lilim? is derived from a being named 
?Lilith?. She was created before Eve to be Adam?s wife. 
However, because Lilith was not created from Adam, but of 
the same substance as him, she did not obey him, and so Eve 
was created. It is believed by some that humans came from 
Lilith, and not Adam and Eve."
	"Ooooh," Minako said, but still looked rather 
confused. "Well, music is great to dance to!"
 	Kaworu laughed, and Shinji smiled shyly. 
	Rei on the other hand narrowed her eyes towards the 
Fifth Child.

End of Part One, Chapter Two.