A fan fic by Caleyndar.
Rating: PG-13 (adult content).

Notes: Some things do not seem right. The boy Kaworu Nagisa
was different, almost not human. What is he? And if he is 
not human, is he here? Time will reveal all, as both he and
Shinji are invited to the capital of the Silever Millennium 
to meet Usagi and her new friend, Endymion.
	If you want to know more on these two characters 
(Kaworu and Shinji), you can find some images of them here:
http://members.xoom.com/portalsms/17thangel/. However, I
strongly advise those who have something against male/male 
relationships to not visit this page. But then, why would 
you be reading fan fic this if you did?
	And a note on The Name Endymion, my other fan fic. 
I'm sorry for not writing any more on that, but I needed a 
break on that. I'll finish it one day. 

Email: caleyndar@tac.com.au
URL: http://members.xoom.com/portalsms/

Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me. The story, 
however, is mine.


Closed Palms...

"It is said that one who hides his palms is without a soul, 
or is one who is content to live in solace from society, one 
who has come to peace with what they are and has discovered 
their own purpose."

Part One: Awakening...

Chapter Three...

	The girl with the fire in her eyes looked closely at 
the boy everyone called the Fifth Child, one of the selected 
few who could pilot those monstrous creations of mankind, 
those Evangelions. He was different. Different from these 
humans whom he referred to as the Lilim that resided on this 
planet called Earth. Yes, he possessed their form, perhaps 
even a soul, but he was not like them. He was not of their
blood. 
	Her attention was pulled away by the appearance of 
Makoto and her steaming hot lunch from which rose a delicious 
aroma. The tall and well built brunette smiled proudly as she 
set the dishes in front of her guests, whom, for the majority, 
was drooling slightly. Even Shinji?s eyes widened and an 
almost joyful and surprised expression crossed his face. 
	"Makoto, it smells wonderful!" Minako exclaimed, and 
dug in before the banquet?s creator had even properly set the 
plates down. 
	Once Makoto had sat down, all others started eating. 
To put it simply, it was an exquisite meal. Makoto was indeed 
a wonderful chef. Everyone enjoyed the food, and consumed it 
as if they had not eaten in months instead of mere hours. No 
one really paid much attention to anyone else. The food 
seemed to be everyone?s primary concern. Only two people 
seemed distracted.
	Rei?s eyes were locked on the form and actions of the 
Fifth Child. He ate as if it was his first time to chew and 
swallow food. Constantly he looked at those around him and 
mimicked their actions, always the innocent and sweet smile 
on his face. No one other than Rei seemed to notice. More and 
more the Senshi of Fire became suspicious of this boy. She 
would have to pay close attention to this so called Human.
	As for the other, it was the Fifth Child himself. All 
this he found absolutely delightful: the company, the food, 
even the atmosphere of this cosy little apartment. But it was 
the company that made him constantly smile. The Third Child 
still could not look him straight in the eyes. However, not 
many could. The colouring of he eyes, dark red, almost like 
blood, was unnatural to say the least. And though they were 
kind, filled with compassion, there was something else 
beneath it. A knowledge which others did not know existed, 
much less even possessed nor imagined. 
	That thought made Kaworu stop, and his smile faltered 
from a moment. Enjoy this time now. Leave what must be done, 
your so called destiny, for the future. After all, you have 
what you wanted sitting right beside you, didn?t you? Shinji, 
the boy who so needed love? Kaworu laughed silently to himself 
and carefully took another bit out of his lunch, chewing 
carefully as to not choke. 
	
	Darkness and Light looked out upon the clear and 
reflective lake. The green and blue orb of the Earth could 
been seen in the mirror like water. It was quiet, no words 
were spoken. Darkness, dressed in black, Light, dressed 
brighter colours, shared each other?s presence and nothing 
more. Both were deep in thought. Both looked at the Earth. 
One at the one that hung in the sky. The other at the one in 
the lake.
	"That is where Sailor Pluto awoke me. She stood apon 
a cliff over the ocean and reached out and touched my mind," 
Endymion said softly, breaking the comfortable silence. "You 
call that planet Earth. It is where your war rages. Your war 
against beings called the Angels." No questions. All 
statements. 
	"Why will you not help us? Innocents die in these 
battles," Usagi said softly. It was not an accusation. A 
question, a wish to know.
	"There are many reasons. The simplest is that this is 
not my war. I have no reason to fight. I feel nothing for 
those who die when you fight your enemies," Endymion answered 
without emotion. What he did not say was he was also afraid 
to. His past hid horrors that dealt with his hand stained 
with blood in wars. Wars he fought because he thought it was 
the right thing to do. Wars he fought because they gave him 
a sense of purpose, a reason for existing. 
	"You are cold," the girl said sadly in a whisper. 
"How can you not care?"
	"I feel very little, Princess Serenity. I am not 
human. I do not think I possess a soul nor heart," Endymion 
answered, despite the fact that even now something pained him 
inside. Not physically. This was something worse. Guilt? 
Certainly the longing that had always been there.
	Usagi was surprised and shocked. Determination 
suddenly crossed her face as an idea came to mind. "No, that 
is not true. You have a heart and soul, of that I am sure. 
You just do not know how to listen to them. Come, I?m going 
to call my friends on Earth and ask them to bring the pilot 
to stay with us. I think you need to understand this war a 
little more. And I think you need more friends."
	Endymion turned his gaze away from the Earth shining 
like a gem in the darkness of space and looked at the girl 
who sat beside him. This girl was too kind. She would be hurt 
so easily. A sudden longing to protect her rose in him, and 
at this he frowned. Why was this girl producing such emotions 
from him? 
	There was no time to ponder. Usagi had already leapt 
to her feet and was gesturing for him to do the same. She 
wanted desperately to hurry back to the palace to call her 
friends.
	
	The sudden shrill beeping startled Kaworu, who was 
still carefully eating his lunch. He faltered as he swallowed, 
and almost choked, coughing violently. 
	"Kaworu!" Shinji exclaimed in surprise and struck him 
hard on the back. "Are you alright?"
	Kaworu fell forward from the blow, stopping inches 
away from his half consumed meal. He shut his eyes and tried 
to gain control over his rebelling body. "Yes, Shinji... 
Thankyou for being concerned," Kaworu said after he swallowed 
his food correctly. "But did you really need to hit me that 
hard?"
	"Sorry," Shinji said with a sheepish grin. 
	Whilst the two pilots stayed seated, one still trying 
to regain his breath, the other saying sorry, the Inner 
Senshi gathered around Minako, whose wrist communicator had 
so startled Kaworu. 
	On the little screen, Usagi?s face appeared, smiling 
and happy. "Hi guys! Enjoying lunch without me?" she asked in 
a joyful voice.
	"Well, of course, Usagi! We actually have something 
left to eat!" Rei exclaimed in a mock angry tone. "So, what 
did you call us for?"
	"Oh, I just thought it might be nice if with invited 
Shinji to come and stay with us here on the moon," Usagi said, 
ignoring Rei?s comment about her eating too much.
	"The Fifth Child arrived today. Perhaps Shinji would 
like his company? After all, he has never visited our home 
before," Ami spoke up.
	"Sure, sure! No problem! Ask them both! More the 
merrier, no?" Usagi asked, and closed the connection after a 
big grin and wave.
	The four girls sat down at the table again, slightly 
shaking their heads at their friend and princess. Kaworu had 
recovered now, but looked somewhat relucent to finish his 
meal. So he turned his attention to Shinji, saying it was 
alright, and he should stop apologising. After all, he meant 
well, didn?t he?
	Makoto cleared her throat to attract the attention 
of the two pilots. "Usagi wondered if the two of you would 
like to visit and stay on the moon for a few days."
	"On the moon?" Shinji asked wide eyed. 
	"Shinji, it would be a good experience," Kaworu said 
with a wide smile. "And we could spend more time together..." 
Kaworu added in a lowered voice so only the Third Child could 
hear.
	Shinji blushed furiously, at a loss for words. 
	"So will you two come?" Minako pressed.
	"Um, I have to ask Misato first," Shinji muttered, 
breaking eye contact with Kaworu and hurrying into the 
kitchen to make the phone call to his guardian. 
	Moments passed before Shinji came back, saying Misato 
had granted her permission, on the condition that he and 
Kaworu promised to report back at Nerv headquarters at the 
first warning of an approaching Angel. Kaworu smiled secretly 
when Shinji told them this. The Fifth Child knew no Angel 
would attack for some time. At least, not whilst he and 
Shinji were on the capital of the Silver Millennium.
	When Makoto had cleaned up with the help Shinji, and 
the two boys had picked up some articles of clothing, the 
Inners teleported themselves and the two pilots to the 
gardens outside of palace. Despite the numerous warning Ami 
had given the two Evangelion pilots, Shinji was still quite 
shocked at the sensation of teleportation, and grasped 
Kaworu?s arm without meaning to. Kaworu made no complaint, 
and only smiled when Shinji realised this and jumped back, 
apologising when they had reached their destination. 
	Shinji promptly forgot about his embarrassment when 
his eyes caught sight of the world around him. Having grown 
up all his life in the suburbs and the city of Tokyo 3, never 
had Shinji seen such an abundance of greenery and flowers... 
Nor the huge lake in which he could see the reflection of the 
Earth. Instantly his eyes shot up towards the sky and widened 
again when they found the orb of the Earth. 
	A blur of golden yellow suddenly appeared and hugged 
Shinji, startling the Third Child who was so mesmerised by 
the sight of his home planet. Shinji tried to shrink back, 
blushing at being so close to the Princess of the Moon. 
	"Thanks for coming, Shinji!" Usagi said when she 
released the dark haired boy from her embrace. She blinked 
and looked at Kaworu standing silently beside Shinji, a smile 
on his face. Usagi smiled and stuck her hand out to Kaworu. 
"You must be the Fifth Child! Nice to meet you! I?m Usagi 
Tsukino," Usagi introduced herself happily.
	Kaworu?s smile widened, and he shook Usagi?s hand. 
"It is also a pleasure to meet you, Usagi. I am Kaworu Nagisa. 
Thankyou for inviting me to your home."
	Usagi beamed. "Well, come on. Let me show you to your 
rooms. We have a few hours before dinner! Oh, and you have to 
meet Endymion. He?s a little shy."
	Minako tried not to laugh at the last comment. Usagi 
hit her on the head. 
	"It is true. He?s very nice underneath his coldness. 
He just hasn?t had many friends in his life," Usagi said, 
defending the Prince of Darkness as she led her two guests 
into the palace.
	Neither of the pilots paid any attention to the 
conversation between Usagi and her friends. Fine marble 
covered the floors. Detailed carved columns supported the 
high painted ceiling. Shinji ended up walking with his eyes 
locked onto the ceiling, and almost ran into a wall, had not 
Kaworu pulled him away. But most certainly the beauty and 
splendour of the palace captivated the two boys. It was like 
nothing either of them had ever seen. Very few structures 
even slightly similar to this existed on Earth now, after the
Second Impact. Even seeing this palace was amazing, much less 
being in it and walking amongst its beauty.
	After ascending a grand central stairway, and 
branching off into one of the wings, Usagi left her two 
guests in two rooms which was adjoined by a connecting 
bathroom, taking the Inner Senshi with her to talk to her 
Mother, Queen Selenity. The two boys hardly acknowledged the 
departure of their hosts, and just stood in one of the rooms 
staring. 
	"I?ve never stayed in such a big room..." Shinji said 
softly.
	"It is nice though, no? It give a sense of freedom, 
as if one was not weighed down by the low ceilings. I like it 
here," Kaworu said, smiling and walking up to the open fire 
place in which a small but roaring blaze lived. "Fire. 
Beautiful..."
	"Another unfamiliar ceiling," Shinji sighed, setting 
down his small bag by the king sized bed and running a hand 
over the silk covers. "But at least I wished to be here this 
time... Not because I wanted to be useful and gain praise 
from my Father."
	"Shinji, do not hate yourself for what you have done, 
for why you have done them. Everyone wants and needs to be 
loved, and to have a purpose," Kaworu said softly, looking 
up from the dancing flames. 
	"But no one loves me. Why would they? I am so weak 
and pathetic," Shinji muttered.
	"Have I not said I love you? I meant it, Shinji. It 
is the truth. Would you only allow me, I would show you love. 
I would give everything I possessed to you, even my eternal 
soul..." the Fifth Child trailed off, as if he had only just 
realised that. With a slight shake of his head, and the 
return of his bright smile, Kaworu walked over to Shinji, 
dropping his own bag next to the bed. "Remember, if you truly 
wish to live, any place can be Heaven." An invitation. 
Another warm smile. 
	Shinji blushed again, stepping back. Not realising 
the bed was right behind him, Shinji fell into a sitting 
position upon it, and looked up with wide eyes at the taller 
figure of Kaworu. 
	"Are you really so afraid to take what I offer, what 
you want?" Kaworu asked, a touch of confusion in his clear 
and kind voice. Always so patient. A teacher and friend. 
	"No... I don?t know!" Shinji exclaimed after a moment 
of silence, standing up and brushing pass the Fifth Child. 
His face was red, and he could not look at the other boy. 
	"Well, the majority of humans wander through life 
without a goal. They merely exist. But in the end, the one 
thing they long for is love, to be needed and wanted. But 
because they are afraid of rejection and pain, they shy away 
from that even," Kaworu said with a hint of a smile on his 
face. "But because for some, the need for love is stronger 
than fear, and so they are able to find happiness."
	The Third Child was silent, looking at the Fifth 
Child with solemn eyes. "Kaworu... I like you. You are my 
best friend, and the only one I can talk to now..."
	"And I am always here to listen, Shinji. But come 
now. I wish to see more of this planet. It is wonderful, 
don?t you think so?" Kaworu asked, smiling and taking hold 
of Shinji?s wrist and pulling him towards the door. "New 
places, new ways of thinking. An entirely different race of 
people! Magical, wonderful... There are not enough words to 
describe this! And their music... I must hear their songs!"
	Shinji could only follow Kaworu. So overwhelmed by 
the mere presence of the Fifth Child was he. His will to 
live, his completely unselfish nature. This was something 
Shinji would have to adapt to. But the Third Child could not 
help but smile. He was feeling happy, joy. It was good.

	Endymion glanced up at the volumes upon volumes of 
books that lined the walls up to the ceiling of the library 
he had found when Princess Serenity had left to greet her 
friends. Knowledge archived here. History which formed the 
present, which would affect the future. But he was fooling 
himself. The last thing on his mind were these books which 
pushed in on him.
	Indeed, he was more confused than he had ever been, 
and slightly angry as well. What was this doubt in his mind? 
That perhaps his decision was wrong? In not helping these 
people in their war? No, that was not it. Most certainly, it 
was the Princess. What he felt towards her. His longing to 
protect her golden and pure heart from all others. And her 
life. He never wanted to see her in pain. Ah, was this... 
Love? No. Never. It could not be, could it? Him, a being 
without emotions, feel love? 
	His thoughts were rudely interrupted by voices 
approaching the library in which he idly stood, a frown 
across his face, one hand resting on a shelf which housed 
the books.
	"This is their library? How delightful... Ah, I think 
I must be in Heaven, Shinji," the voice of a young boy 
floated to Endymion?s ears through the open doors. "Come on! 
I must have a closer look. Truly, I could spend eternity in 
here." Soft laughter. "Well, if you were by my side!"
	"Kaworu!" another boy?s voice exclaimed. "You are 
serious?"
	The first boy laughed again, and the two came into 
Endymion?s view. They were both younger than he. Fourteen 
years, his instinct told him as soon as he had glanced at 
them. And the one with the grey hair and disturbing crimson 
eyes. He was... The Prince of  Darkness frowned. 
	Boldly the grey haired youth climbed up the shelves 
and looked at the volumes which could not be accessed from 
ground level. He was not afraid. The fear of falling never 
even crossed his mind. 
	"Kaworu, be careful... You might fall and hurt 
yourself..." Shinji said, concern painfully clear.
	"But you will catch me, won?t you, Shinji?" Kaworu 
beamed down at the boy and climbed higher still, eyes 
greedily taking in the titles of the books. His eyes caught 
sight of something and he promptly pulled it off the shelf 
and jumped down from what must have been a hight of over 
five meters, landing in a crouched position, clearly unhurt. 
	Shinji?s mouth hanged open, shocked and speechless.
	Kaworu was too caught up in flipping though the book 
to notice Shinji?s reaction. 
	Endymion narrowed his eyes. That boy. And the book. 
What so fascinated him? Foot steps and more voices 
approaching. Endymion stepped further back into the shadows 
of the vast library. Still he had a clear few of the two 
children and the entrance.
	"There you are!" Princess Serenity?s voice exclaimed 
as she and four of the Senshi appeared. "Well, I?ve talked 
to my Mother, and it?s all been arranged. You guys can stay 
as long as you want, and we?ll even have a ball while you 
are here!"
	Shinji stuttered. "I... I can?t dance!" The Third 
Child choked.
	Kaworu put his book down and embraced Shinji. "That 
does not matter! I will lead!" 
	Shinji pulled back from Kaworu and laughed nervously. 
The older girls looked somewhat uncomfortable until Usagi 
broke the silence. 
	"Oh, you won?t have anything to wear! No matter. I?ll 
get Setsuna to design some tuxedos for you. Not only is she a 
great Time Gate Keeper, she?s also a great fashion designer!" 
Usagi said with a giggle. 
	Both the boys blanched at the mention of having to 
wear something formal. 
	"Ah, can we sit it out?" Shinji asked.
	"Yes, I would not mind either," Kaworu said, looking 
somewhat pale, his smile faltering.
	Minako and Usagi formed devilish grins on their 
faces. "No way!" they cried in union, and dragged the two 
pilots out of the library to meet their fate. 
	The other three Inner Senshi sighed and followed them.
	In silence Endymion waited until he could no longer 
hear their voices nor footsteps, and then walked to where the 
boy Kaworu had been standing, and looked down at the book he 
had been flipping through with such haste. The page it had 
been left open at distressed him. It read: ?Chronicles of the 
Past: The Entombment of the Prince of Darkness?.
	Memories. Dark memories. Cries of pain, anguish. 
	"No!" he shouted, hurling the book across the room 
with his telekinetic powers. "No..." he sobbed, sinking down 
onto the ground. "I do not want to know. I do not want to 
remember..."
	He did not know how long he stayed in that position. 
Time had lost its meaning. But slowly he calmed down, 
regained control of himself, shutting out the memories. If 
only he remembered nothing. Yet already his previously 
rebelling mind was turning the facts in his mind. This boy, 
Kaworu. He knew of him? Yet how? If he came from Earth... 
And those of Earth knew nothing of his existence. And the 
presence he gave off. Not human. At least, not in blood or 
soul, if in physical shell. 
	Endymion stood up, regaining his cold expression, 
discarding the pain and terror he had felt only moments ago. 
Time would reveal what this boy was. For now, he would 
continue his wanderings. After all, was that not his fate? 
To wander alone, forever?

End Part One, Chapter Three.