Well, minna-chan, you all know where this came from. ;P Feminine Dilemma By: Dark Ferret "Ever notice how most people's idols have some effect on how many times they say f*** in a single sentence?"--M. Mareski They had been together for a while now--at least, it had been long enough that mere discomfort wasn't a good enough reason to throw a fit and leave the store. Something about the structure in the relationship had soothed her tantrums, but she still knew she had a long way to go, and was milking the fact for all it was worth. It wasn't worth enough this time. The excuse that it was degrading didn't work. "If you're going to use them," Michiru had replied simply, "You're going to buy them. I have some things I have to buy. Struggle with your demon and I'll be back." Oh, the girl was evil. Satan was somewhere back there on her family tree, Haruka was fairly sure. Haruka would have liked to complain again, but she was already gone with her shopping list. This presented a bit of a problem. After all, she wouldn't be caught dead with those things in her hand, and yet she _did_ need them. So eventually she shrugged and went off to the aisle. The problem was first _finding_ the aisle. This presented another problem, because the store was bigger than most estates, and the signs above the isles had such cryptic titles such as 'paper goods' and 'frozen foods'. Walking through the store twice, she still could not find the aisle in question. She was _not_ going to ask the acne-pocked adolescent clerk where they were. She could just imagine the damn boy's reaction. "But sir...you're a man," he would stutter, and gape at her. She would than kick him across the room. She had already discovered this was not an effective tactic--well, it was, but the consequences were less than desirable. "And _why_ did you do this, sir?" "You do realize we'll have to keep you here until the police come, don't you?" Walking through each aisle until she found what she desired took a while, but it was worth not getting anyone's assistance in the matter. She was horror struck at what she found. There were more brands and types here than children in the Tokyo school system, and each seemed equally different. The names seemed to be useful enough to choose a product, and she had just about resigned herself to doing so...when a young woman started walking down the isle. In a panic, she turned around. She was even more horrified at what she found there. Adult diapers! She fled the aisle and turned to wait for the woman to leave. She eventually did, coming out the same way. The woman winked at her, and she just barely stopped herself from flushing as she walked away. Haruka walked back into the aisle, gulping, and eventually chose one. She could feel her ears burn. The worst part, she decided, was over. Relax. Nothing bad is going on here. It's natural. For a woman, her mind replied. And what do you look like today? Shut up, she told it. The clerk was a man. An acne pocked man. Where they all goddamn acne pocked young men here? Where the hell are the normal people? Desperately trying to hold in a flush, she lobbed the thing at the counter. It flew off. The clerk bent over to pick it up, most likely scrutinizing it the entire time. When he rung it up, he raised an eyebrow. "It's not mine!" she yelled. "It's for my girlfriend!" "Sir," he replied mildly, "We don't care what you buy here. Or who for. Whatever." "But it's not!" she yelled. "She made me get them!" "Sir--" Suddenly Michiru was there. In seemingly a flash, she paid the bill and took the things, in a bag of course, and gave them to Haruka. "That is the last time I'm taking you shopping," she said chidingly. Haruka let out that flush that had been building up the moment they had walked in. Michiru chuckled. Author's Notes: I'd been reading only Evangelion fanfics for a week. I'd been writing a darkfic for at least that long. I'd just gotten into Led Zeppelin after getting really serious about playing guitar, and discovered that every rap song ever created came from a cover of a Zeppelin song. I felt sunburned, and the lotion that hadn't worked was giving me acne problems. As if all of this wasn't bad enough, men were coming to take away my favorite, yet broken, sofas. Needless to say, I was depressed. At the very least, I know I felt overwhelmingly bad; I know I wasn't really depressed. So I read Phoenix-san's poll question, and wrote this to interrupt the monotony of writing darkfics and watching daytime television. I grasped at the opportunity. So there you are. Now e-mail me for God's sake. -=-Dark Ferret-=- Who now has to clean up her basement. >_< -- "I'll find my own partner."--Sailoruranus Harukaandmichiru Otaku; ignored fanfic writer; professional cynic.