Fatal Elusions
by DarkPluto4
DarkPluto4@aol.com

 Disclaimer:  Voila, another fan/fic about Haruka and Michiru.  There's like
one or two mentions about incidents occurring Sacrifices (my previous
fan/fic), so if you read that, it just might make certain parts of it
referring to Michiru's relationship with her parents and Haruka's
involvement
in that easier to understand.  I guess if you haven't read Sacrifices, this
fan/fic contains some spoilers for that (very minor, though).  Um, language
as always (don't I have language in EVERY fan/fic I write?), I think one or
two incidents of violence/masochism (nice SAT word, don't you think?).  And
I
think it's slightly more detailed than anything from Time of Corruption, and
Sacrifices really didn't have much description about violence.  I would rate
this about PG-13.  And this follows the trend of my other two fan/fics
(a.k.a.  This is not a happy, cheerful fan/fic all nice, optimistic, bright,
or even funny).  So if you hate melodramatic stuff or are looking for
happy-happy-joy-joy stuff, NEVER read my fan/fics.  The brightest ones I
have
(or plan to have) are Time or Corruption and one that includes Pluto who
committed suicide and the turning of a happy girl into the most miserable
person you can imagine.  Get the picture??  No, once again, I reiterate that
I do not own Michiru or Haruka, and you can steal all the rest of the
characters in here since they're so minor that I doubt you'll even want
them.
 Their names are terrible, anyway.  Um, a bunch of people (Naoko Tokushu or
something or whatever her name is and some other people own Michiru/Sailor
Neptune and Haruka/Sailor Uranus).  I wish I owned the song "Gone Away"
(That
is the BEST song), but I certainly am far from having the skill to write
such
a beautiful song or the lyrics.  So the merit goes to my dear friends, The
Offspring (yeah, I wish I were their friends?), and it's from their best CD
(in my noble *psssh* opinion), Ixnay on the Hombre.  Umm?that's all I have
to
say now.  If you're not already scared away, go ahead and read this.
 Author's Note: Um, well, I depressed myself writing this, so if this
doesn't
make you upset, well, then I'm just weird.  Wait? I am weird already.
Anyway, enjoy fan/fic - it's definitely the shortest I've ever written - and
uh, comments, please.  I don't feel satisfied with this because I just can't
grab the TRUE essence of the pain behind all this. *sigh*  Some forms of
pain
are just too deep for words to describe.  So I think this is a rather poorly
written fan/fic, but feel free to go ahead and read this anyway.  Oh, and by
the way, about the title, well, I hate it, too.  But I'm bad at making up
titles for fan/fics, and I couldn't think of a better one, ok?  So don't
pester me about how terrible it is.  Comments to DarkPluto4@aol.com, please
(how many millions of times did I already say that anwayz in fan/fics?  You
all already know my e-mail address, right?).

        The small square case lay in my hands, gray and velvety.  I did not
open it, of course - it was empty.  The content was wrapped securely around
my finger - the ring finger of my left hand.
        I shouldn't have said yes, but I did.  'Why?' I asked myself. 'Why?'
        Did I love him?  'Baka, you know you'll never love him the way you
loved her,' I told myself.
        But I had to forget her and let her remain buried in those memories
locked away in the darkness of unremembered histories.  I had to.  But I
never could.  Lately, it seemed I never could do anything I SHOULD do.
 Gently, I fingered the brilliant jewel set upon the golden band.  It was
the
second engagement ring I had owned, but how vastly different were the
emotions.

 *flashback*

        "Hurry up, Michiru," urged Haruka, lightly tugging upon my white
shirt.  "Hurry up!"
        "Wait, wait.  Just a moment longer" I paused quickly as I could
before the mirror and pushed back a strand of my wavy aquamarine hair that
had fallen loose.
        "You look beautiful as always," sighed Haruka.
        "What's with the rush, anyway?" I asked curiously as the she opened
the door for me.
        "I'm hungry." I knew Haruka was lying - I could always tell.
Nevertheless, I said nothing.  I knew that Haruka knew I knew.
        We drove in silence.  The wind caressed my face softly as I closed
my
eyes.  I opened them to watch the amber sun vanish beneath the horizon.  The
sky was splattered with crimson patches and violet streaks.
        There was a lurch as Haruka slammed the car breaks in front of a
park.  I turned to face her.  "Aren't we going to a restaurant?" I asked,
puzzled.
        "Here first." Hearing her tone of voice, I kept silent and climbed
out of the car.  Haruka took my hand in her firm, warm grip and led me into
the park.  We walked, enjoying the brightly colored flowers scattered across
the grassy plains and the leafy foliage on the emerald trees.  Haruka
pointed
to a bench, and we sat down in front of the large lake.  The azure water
reflected the radiant sky upon its mirror-like surface, calm and serene.
        "I like this lake," said Haruka quietly.  "I like the way it appears
to stretch out for an eternity.  And at the horizon, it always seems to
touch
and merge with the sky just above it, always covering it like a soft
blanket."
        I looked at her in surprise and with glowing hope, realizing the
analogy.  My heart began racing uncontrollably.
        Haruka stood up and knelt down upon one knee, pulling out a box - a
rectangular one of shimmering blue velvet.
        "Michiru, will you marry me?"

 *end of flashback*

        That was the most joyful day of my life.  It was the one moment of
my
existence that I had been completely fulfilled, completely satisfied,
completely happy.  All I had dreamed of was turned into reality.  And for
once, my life was perfect - absolutely perfect.
        Everything had seemed heavenly.  There was nothing I needed.  With
Haruka, I would never lack anything.
        I stared back at the glistening ring upon my fingers. I remembered
hers.  It was such a meticulously made ring - an intricate golden band with
specks of aquamarine.  The symbol of Neptune was etched in turquoise upon
the
diamond.  No ring would ever touch me so deeply again.  No one - man or
woman
- would ever grasp my heart and reach into my soul as she did ever again.
No
one would ever thoroughly understand me and fathom the very depths of me as
she had.
        Where had my life gone since that day, since that ring?  How did my
life shatter into such pieces?  Why was I left with the vestiges - the
remaining ruins, the skeleton frame of what had once been my life - unable
to
build it back into the splendor it had once possessed?

 *flashback*

        I had been dusting the cabinet, humming to myself.  Elegantly, I
swept the dark mahogany wood with the feathery brush, smiling.  Haruka had
taken Setsuna and Hotaru to check on the catering and to order more supplies
for decoration.  The wedding was scheduled to take place within one week.
        One week.  I was one week - a mere seven days - from eternal bliss.
I felt I had already attained heaven.  The invitations had been sent out and
the congratulations had come pouring in.  Every Scout willingly contributed
whatever she had available despite my own objections.
        "This isn't right!  This is *MY* wedding, after all!" I had insisted
futilely.
        "Nonsense!" dismissed Minako.  "Michiru-san, what kind of friend
would we be if we don't help you out at your *WEDDING*???"
        "You don't have to do this!" I tried again in vain.
        "Of course not, but we *WANT* to!" assured Rei.
        "Thank you all *SO* much.  Haruka and I thank you from the bottom of
our hearts," I said, smiling.  The mirth spilled over within my overflowing
heart.
        I walked to my closet and took out my wedding dress.  Setsuna had
made it for me.  I gently removed the crinkling cellophane.  I fingered the
satin cloth, glistening with a faint cerulean glow, dreaming of when I would
slip it on and wait to meet Haruka and be joined with her for all eternity.
I covered it and placed it in the closet, walking back out into the living
room to wait for Haruka.  Checking the time, I was startled.  Haruka had
said
they would be back over two hours ago.
        The telephone ran clearly and shrilly.  I jumped up and ran to
snatch
it.  "Haruka?" I asked immediately, thinking that it must be her, calling to
explain the delay.
        "No, I'm sorry ma'am.  This is the police informing you that there
has been a car accident.  The three occupants identified as Ms. Meiou
Setsuna, Ms. Tomoe Hotaru, and Ms. Ten'ou Haruka are in critical condition.
Now, we understand you are currently residing with these three, Ms. Kaiou?"
        "Oh my god," I forced myself to abstain from becoming hysterical.
"Where are they?" I demanded.
        "A local hospital.  Shall we dispatch an officer to take you to
them?" he asked.
        "Yes, immediately, please," I replied, surprising myself with my
placid tone.  The man hung up.  I stood for a minute, still gripping the
ivory-white phone.  All I could do was hope against hope that it had been a
dream, a prank call, a hoax - anything but the truth.
        But as I heard the tires belonging to a police car screech to a halt
in front of my house, I understood.  My worst fears had been confirmed.
        It was at that moment my flawless paradise had been demolished, and
for all the power I had as Sailor Neptune, I was helpless to repair the
damages.
        My life had become an agonizing hell once again.  And this time, I
had no one to save me.

 *end of flashback*

        I stared in the mirror at my pale face and mass of wavy tresses.  I
was still beautiful, but my eyes seemed so vacant and lifeless.  No, they
couldn't be satisfied with wrenching my heart until all I could sense was
torture - they had to suck out every particle of will I possessed to stay
living as well.
        Or did I inflict that upon myself?  Was the demon, that witch of
Hatred and Melancholy - almost bordering on suicidal - the work of my own
hand?

 *flashback*

        The hospital was filled with a peculiar aroma, not a *stench*, but
just a strange odor.  I hardly noticed it.  The small, dark assistant had
led
me here and deserted me, only instructing me to wait until the doctor
allowed
me to visit the patients.
        I fumbled with my hands nervously, wringing them and jumping at any
sound, expecting the doctor to come and tell me anything, good or bad.
        Finally, a man in white approached me.  "Ms. Kaiou?"  I leapt up to
my feet.  "You may come see the patients now.  They appear to be in stable
condition."  The anxiety left my heart in peace for a brief moment.
        Setsuna lay on the first bed, shrouded in the snow-white blankets.
Tubes ran in and out of her.  Her pallor was pale, and her jade hair was
tousled, lying in a tangled heap.  She blinked for a few moments at me,
observing me with her large maroon eyes.
        "Michiru?" she squinted.
        "Setsuna, I'm here," I smiled gently.
        "I'm so glad.  I knew you would come," Setsuna coughed and winced in
pain.  I bit my lip and took Setsuna's clammy hand.
        "Don't worry about me, Michiru.  I won't be in pain much longer.  I
can feel it," smiled Setsuna weakly.
        "Don't!  Don't say those things.  You'll be fine!  You can't die.
The doctor said you all were in stable condition," I tried to comfort her.
        "No, Michiru.  I'm sorry I didn't make it.  I know when I'm dying.
But it's all right.  I did my duties well, and in time, Father Chronos will
choose another to cover the vacancy.  Do not miss me, Michiru.  I will
always
be here with you in some form?Scouts never die forever?" Setsuna's voice was
fading.  "At first, I thought I might make it.  But as I felt my life
slipping away, I knew I wouldn't.  I held on as long as I could to say my
farewells to you.  Good-bye, dear Michiru.  I can die easily as I have
followed my destiny well in life.  I just pray?pray that all turns well for
you?I'm sorry?God, I'm so sorry I'll miss your wedding?God bless you and
your
life?follow your destiny, Michiru?Follow your destiny?" the monitor showing
her heart movement moved in a straight line.  I backed away from the table,
numb.
        "Michiru-mama?" another weak voice called.  Turning, I rushed to the
side of the next bed upon which little Hotaru lay.  She looked so weak and
helpless.  I nearly collapsed at the site of the gash upon her forehead.
        "Hotaru?" I choked.
        "Michiru-mama!" Hotaru struggled to speak, panting.
"Michiru-mama?I'm so scared.  I'm so scared?I want you to come with me - but
you can't.  I'm so scared I have to take the journey alone?"
        "Hotaru, darling, no!  Not you, too!" I couldn't breathe - I
couldn't
bear this.  This couldn't be happening?no, this couldn't be possible.
        "I struggled to hold on as long as I could?I tried my best.  I'm so
sorry, Michiru-mama.  I didn't mean for this to happen.  Just, Michiru-mama,
don't blame Haruka-papa.  She didn't mean to, she really didn't," Hotaru
begged me.
        "What?  Haruka?  What didn't she mean to do?" That was all I could
take.  My heart frozen.
        "Haruka-papa tried to stop the car.  She really tried.  But?but the
road was so slippery and the car was going so fast.  We hit the railing?"
Hotaru said softly.
        "Haruka?  Haruka did all this?" I realized I was screaming.  My
voice
rose shrilly.
        "No, Michiru-mama!  Don't be mad at Haruka-papa.  He didn't mean to!
It was all an accident.  You know Haruka-papa would never want to do
something like this.  Don't be mad at Haruka-papa?please?don't be mad?mad?at
Haruka-papa," Hotaru was fading out too, being snuffed out like a candle
that
had at last burnt out.
 "Hotaru?  Hotaru!" I was shrieking by this point.  Shrieking inside and
outside in rage, in misery, in fury, in helplessness.
        "I love you, Michiru-mama?" and the line went straight.  She was
dead
too.  Snatched from me.  She was only a child, a young child.  She was
barely
seventeen.  And she was dead.  This wasn't supposed to happen?not to the
Scouts?not to my "daughter".
        "NO!!! NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I cried out.  I remember the white
blur
of nurses that came in around me.  One look at the straight lines on the two
monitors, and all was explained.
        A man was in front of me.  "You said they were in stable condition!"
I bellowed at the doctor.
        "Ms. Kaiou, I'm terribly sorry.  It appeared so, and I'm most
apologetic that things turned out differently.  Now, would you kindly follow
me?" he motioned for me to come after him.
        But I turned.  And ran.  Ran from the hospital.  Ran from the
deaths.
 Ran from all the confusion.  Ran, trying to escape it all.
        This wasn't supposed to happen?this wasn't destiny.  I should have
married Haruka, and they should have been at my wedding.  And we should have
stayed together as a family for thousands of years.  None of the Scouts were
supposed to die?
        My life had been perfect - absolutely perfect.  But?what did I have
now?  Nothing.
 How could Haruka do this to me?  How COULD she?
        And it was at that moment all my anger and fury turned upon HER.  I
ran from the hospital, running, not caring where I went - just away from
her.

 *end of flashback*

        Looking back, I sometimes bitterly recollected the emptiness and the
own stupidity of my actions.  Hotaru had been right - I shouldn't have held
an accident, a mere chance of bad luck destroy whatever bond that had held
me
and Haruka together.  But then, I needed a scapegoat.  I needed someone on
which I could direct my anger, my sorrow, my wrath at.  I couldn't cope with
Hotaru's death.  I couldn't cope with Setsuna's death.  I couldn't cope with
the annihilation of my perfect world.
        Laying alone on my bed in the vacuous house, I often thought?thought
of how I could have acted differently.  Sometimes, I would feel guilty -
guilty for attacking Haruka like that, guilty for placing all the blame on
Haruka, guilty for using Haruka as a way to vent out all the rage and grief
I
could not deal with inside.  And then I would be enraged - enraged at myself
for being so blind, enraged at Haruka for driving so recklessly, enraged at
Hotaru and Setsuna for not pulling through, enraged at the whole goddamned
world for being so useless and so tiresome, enraged at everyone for being
unable to pull me out of my own miserable trap I had fallen into and could
not break away from.

 *flashback*

        I held the smooth silky gown in my hands.  The fury rising, I pulled
with all my strength.  There was a ripping sound, and the dress tore.
Feeling the resentment ebb a bit, I grabbed the pieces and tore.  The sounds
rang throughout the house as I frantically lacerated and rent the cloth
until
it lay in scattered shreds across the bedroom.  Picking up my suitcases, I
stood up, ready to walk away from the house, walk away from this accursed
land forever.
        "Where are you going?" a voice said in horror.  A shadowy figure
walked through the door.
        I froze.  Gathering my courage, I continued, not heeding her.
        "Michiru!  Where are you going?" demanded Haruka.
 "Somewhere away from here, Ms. Ten'ou," I said icily, emphasizing the "Ms.
Ten'ou."
        Haruka's fists tightened.  "Michiru, what's wrong?"
        I narrowed my eyes.  "I don't have time for this 'Oh, baby, I didn't
mean it, please forgive me' crap.  I have a plane to catch."
        Haruka barred the door and stared into my eyes.  "You can't leave,
Michiru," she whispered.
        "Oh, can't I?" I challenged.
        "Why are you doing this, Michiru?  Why are you doing this to me?"
Haruka pleaded.
        "Why do you think?" I spat out.
        "I love you, Michiru!  I love you!  Don't that count for anything?
Look at me, Michiru!  Look at me!  Can you honestly say that you don't love
me anymore?"
 I stared into her verdant eyes and saw the desperation, the passion, the
love.  And from the searing anguish inside me, boiling out of control, I
know
that beneath the anger, the bereavement, I loved her too.
        I wrenched my gaze from hers.  "I can't forgive you, ever, for what
you did to Setsuna and Hotaru."
        "It was an accident, Michiru!  An accident!  I didn't mean for this
to happen!  I tried, I tried so damned hard.  I never meant for it to end
like this.  I would give up almost anything to take it back - you know I
would," Haruka's voice cracked.
        "It was still your fault!  Have you ever thought of the risks at
stake when you went speeding off, driving recklessly?" I retorted coldly.
        "Don't you think I know that?  Don't you think I've tossed in bed
all
day wondering WHY I couldn't have driven more slowly, more carefully?  Don't
you think I've tortured myself to the point of insanity playing over and
over
again in my mind what I could have done to avoid the accident?  Don't you
think I wonder again and again why I didn't die in place of Setsuna and
Hotaru?  Don't you think I wish I could have given up my life to save
theirs?" shouted Haruka, tears welling in her eyes.  "Do you know how much I
hate myself, how much I blame myself for this?"
        I said nothing.  I wanted to run to her, to gather her in my arms
and
weep together.  But part of me wanted to run, run from all the grief, from
all the chaos, run from everything, and most of all, run from her.
        "Michiru?" she asked.
        I could have stopped.  I could have stayed.  I could have sought
refuge in her safe arms.
        And in the arms of the one who drove the car into the railing and
killed Setsuna and Hotaru.
        Closing my fingers around the ring, I pulled it off and hurled it at
Haruka.  It struck her in the cheek and fell to the floor with a clang.
        "Take your damned ring!  Stay away from me - forever!" I screeched
in
a strangled voice I did not recognize.  I ran out the door, clutching onto
my
suitcases.  It wasn't until I was outside that I felt the two warm streams
of
trickling tears running down my cheeks.  From within, I could hear Haruka
shouting "Michiru!  Michiru!  Michiru!"  The pain-racked woe evident in her
voice broke my heart, but I walked steadily on.  Taking one last look at the
house, once my beloved sanctuary, I stopped a taxi and slipped inside.
        "To the airport," I told the driver curtly.

 *end of flashback*

        I pulled out the handkerchief from my purse and quickly wiped my wet
eyes.  The silky satin felt smooth and soft against my skin.
        I fingered the rigid band imprisoning my ring finger.  I bit my lip.
Rage roaring inside me, I stood up in front of the mirror.  Facing my
reflection, glaring at myself while gritting my teeth, I channeled all the
hatred and bitterness inside me at it.
        "I hate you!" I screamed, flinging the ring at the mirror.  It
bounced off and landed on the carpeted floor.  A small crack rushed across
the center.  Grabbing a book, I hurled it at the mirror.  Fueled by the
boiling fury, I snatched anything I could - the phone, lamps, small statues,
necklaces, and even my shoes - and smashed them against the mirror.
        I hated that reflection.  I hated staring into it and seeing myself,
seeing the witch, the vile demon.  I was so full of bitterness, resentment,
and pure darkness.
        The mirror now was shattered and cracked. Tightening my hand into a
fist, I punched the mirror, shards sliceing into my skin.  Scarlet streaks
of
blood streamed down from my knuckles, flowing and coating my entire hand.
Numb to the pain, I struck the mirror again and again as my blood smeared
onto it.
        Turning, I stepped deliberately on the fragments of the mirror,
feeling them grind into tiny particles, and walked calmly into the bathroom.
I eyed the hundreds of bottles of various kinds of make-up.  What use were
they?  Yes, people had always gushed over my extraordinary beauty.  They
could only see the placid mask of regal pulchritude - not the irate beast
under that lovely costume.
        I narrowed my eyes into slits at the mirror.  "I *HATE* you!!  You
hear me???  I *HATE* you!!!" I screeched.  "YOU deserve to DIE for what you
did, what you do!  I HATE you, you fucked up bitch!!"  I gripped a small
flask of perfume in my hands and hurled it at the mirror.  The amber liquid
poured out as the glass contacted glass and shattered.  Bottle after bottle
cracked, the splintering noise like music to my ears.  Coughing as the aroma
saturating the air suffocated me.  I took hold of a cup and smashed the
containers holding various creams.  They broke as the cream splattered to
the
floor like white icing.
        Worn out, I stumbled back into my room, collapsing onto the littered
carpet, my head throbbing painfully.
        Taking a sharp fragment of glass, I ripped open the sleeve of my
white blouse, exposing my arm.
        "Let me die?let me die?" I chanted, panting with exhaustion.  I
slashed at my arm, the blade cutting mercilessly into my tender skin.  The
vermilion liquid seeping through the wounds made a startling contrast upon
the whiteness of my arm.
        Too exhausted, and the paroxysm in my head pounding insufferably, I
shut my eyes and relented to the darkness

        "Where am I?" I croaked, my voice raspy.  My throat burned up.  "Oh
my god," I muttered under my breath.
        "What the HELL, may I ask, were you trying to do?" my fianc頳tared
at me.
        'Oh god,' I thought.  'Damnit, what's a good excuse?'  I said
nothing, just staring back at him.
        "I did manage to call up several cleaning companies.  I believe they
put your apartment back in order," he continued.
        "Thank you," I replied quietly.
        "I found *this* on the floor," he opened his palm, revealing the
engagement ring he had given me.  "What's the explanation?"
        I said nothing, biting my lip so hard I was sure my teeth had cut
into it.
        "Well, Michiru?  Tell me.  Could it possibly be that you don't want
to marry me?" he glared into my eyes.
        "No," I said hoarsely.  "Don't think that, honey.  It's not like
that
at all."
        "So what's the explanation then, 'honey'?" I could tell he was
angry.
        "Look, when we seriously began dating, I requested one thing.  That
you would have to except me, mysteries and all, just as I am.  I will not
keep it a secret that there are things that bother me and at times will push
me to extremities.  You agreed to that, and so now, if you would kindly
remember that deal, you may stop interrogating me," I shot back.
        He remained silent.  "Very well," he sighed.  "So the wedding is
still up for next month?"
        "Yes," I replied.
        "I've chosen a church, you'll be happy to know," he smiled, taking
hold of my left hand and slipping the ring on once again.
        "Where is it?"
        "I decided on a beautiful church in Tokyo," he told me proudly.  "I
remember you said you had been in Tokyo before, and I absolutely adore the
city.  Besides, my grandmother lives there."
        I froze.  It couldn't be.  I just couldn't be.  "T-Tokyo?" I
stammered.
        "Yes, you don't mind do you?"
        I should have said yes.  Anyone in my position would have said
"yes".
 But I had no control over myself.  And I never did what I should do.  "No,"
I replied.  "Of course not."
        "Very good.  Get a good rest, Michiru," He stooped down and kissed
me
lightly before leaving the room.
        I felt nauseous from the kiss.  Why had I chosen him in the first
place?  Because he was available and evidently loved me very much?  Because
he was the one person who was not frightened by my dark, brooding moods and
never questioned the past I kept so carefully concealed?  Because he was the
one person who was willing to accept my reserved attitude toward the many
enigmatical habits I had?
        I should have broken off with him long ago, because as wonderful as
he was, I knew there was one person I loved - love once long ago, loved
still, would always love.
        And that one person was lost to the past forever.  I had alienated
her.  WHY was I so stubborn, so harsh, so utterly insipid?  Why couldn't I
forgive her, forgive her for a mere accident?
        Turning my face into the pillow, I sobbed, allowing the pain ripping
my heart to echo itself in my desperate cries.

        The door turned, and a girl stepped in.
        "Good morning, Miss Kaiou," she curtsied.
        "Hello, Irena," I smiled.  "Ready for your lessons?"
        She nodded as I motioned for her to sit down.  She pulled her bow
out
and held it with a practiced hand over the violin and slid it lovingly over
the strings.  As notes rang out in a melodic stream, I stared at her.
        Her hair was shoulder length and a dark, violet-tinted black.  Her
large dark eyes were staring intently on her violin, appearing to be dreamy
as she immersed herself in the world of music.  She was one of the most
talented students I had.
        And the one that resembled Hotaru to the most agonizing extent.  The
first day I met her, the word "Hotaru" slipped out my mouth in an eery,
ghostly voice.  The girl had turned to me strangely and said, "No, madam, my
name is Irena."
        As I stared at her, I remembered Hotaru's pale face as she lay on
her
hospital bed, gasping and struggling to speak to me.
        "No, Michiru-mama!  Don't be mad at Haruka-papa.  He didn't mean to!
It was all an accident.  You know Haruka-papa would never want to do
something like this.  Don't be mad at Haruka-papa?please?don't be mad?mad?at
Haruka-papa," her voice echoed in my mind.
        I laughed bitterly.  She had known, hadn't she?  She had warned
me?and I had been dumb enough to ignore her warning and break my daughter's
dying wish.
        But I paid for my mistakes, didn't I?  Oh yes, I had paid dearly.
My
life, once so much like a paradise, had become a torture, a hell.
        "Miss Kaiou?" Irena's voice cut into my thoughts.
        I fluttered my eyes.  "Oh, yes, Irena.  I'm terribly sorry.
Continue, you're doing beautifully," I flashed her a smile.
        Still looking at me strangely, she continued her piece.
        God, Hotaru, I'm so sorry.  I'm so damned sorry I didn't listen to
you,' I thought.  If only?If only?
        If only Haruka hadn't gotten into the accident?
        If only Setsuna and Hotaru hadn't died?
        If only I hadn't blamed Haruka?
        If only I hadn't deserted Haruka?
        If only I hadn't met my fianc頇icomo?
        If only I hadn't become engaged to him?
        The list of "if only's" ran on and on.  But what's the use?  What
hope did I have now, with no one to pull me out of the endless pit I had
become chained into?  I was plodding down an arduous road, one I knew that
led me closer and closer to my doom, yet I was too weak to pull myself from
it and search for the right path.
        "Come on," urged Gicomo.  "There are people lined up behind us.  Why
aren't you moving?"
        I was standing, staring into the entrance into the tunnel - the
tunnel that led to the plane that would bring me back to Tokyo, the accursed
city I had run from to run from my ruined life only to destroy it more.
        Raising one foot, I stepped in it, my legs feeling like jelly.
        What awaited me there?  What had happened to her?  Was she still
there?
        She was alive - that much I knew.  Occasionally, I had seen her on
television once or twice.  She had taken up racing full-time, disguising
herself as a male, winning one championship after another.  That was all I
knew, and all I cared to know.  The once or twice I had seen her on
television did nothing but etch another bleeding wound into my already
tattered heart.
        "Michiru?" he whispered in my ear as we walked through the tunnel.
        "Yes?" I said, my voice strained.
        "What's the matter?  You paled and something flickered over your
eye," he glanced at me, his eyes clouded with anxiety.
        "Nothing, nothing.  Doesn't matter, really.  Don't worry about me,"
I
said hollowly.          "Just let me catch up on some sleep, and I'll be
fine."  I flopped down on my seat and fingered the burgundy velvet, digging
my nails into it.
 "Alright," he said, clearly skeptical.

        Tokyo had not changed much since I last saw it - busier, old
buildings torn with new ones replaced, but still most everything remained
the
same since I last was here.
 Wrapping my jacket more tightly around myself, I walked tremblingly with
Giocomo.
        "I made reservations in a restaurant I went to sometime before.  I
think you'll enjoy it very much.  It's an absolutely delightful place - the
best restaurant in the city, they say," Giocomo chattered.
        I listened half-heartedly as we walked on.  He stopped, pointing to
a
cozy-looking brick building.
        "Here we are," he said, pulling me toward it.
        I stood, rooted to the floor.  "Here?" I gasped.
        "Yes, why?  Is there something wrong?" he looked at me, puzzled.
        The world swirled around me.  It couldn't be?it just couldn't be?
        It was the restaurant Haruka and I always ate at on our birthdays,
anniversaries of when we first began dating, holidays, anything.  It was our
personal favorite restaurant.
 To step in was to wallow in anguish of the olden memories of life
before?before some force had ripped my life and burnt it until only ashes
remained.
        I should have immediately begged to go somewhere - anywhere - else.
Instead, I shook my head mutely and followed him in.
        A smiling hostess greeted us.  My husband gave her the reservations
and asked for the nonsmoking area.  Nodding she motioned for another pretty
waitress to take us to our seats and give us our drinks.
        As I sat waiting for my lemonade, I glanced around, reminiscing in
the dark maroon carpet, the rosewood tables covered by the lacy tablecloths
of ivory white, and the glinting gold upon the ornate chandeliers robed in
glistening crystals.
        My eyes caught a shock of blonde hair.  My head pounded furiously.
My lungs burned.  Breathing became near impossible as I struggled to take in
air in forceful gasps.
        It couldn't be her.  It couldn't be.  It wasn't.  It just wasn't.
No.... please...don't let it be her...please...don't let it be...
        As the waitress approached, she looked at me for a moment and asked
if there was something I needed.
        Faking a smile, I asked, my voice quivering slightly, "That man in
the dark blue over there with the blonde hair - I think I might have seen
him
before.  Who is he?"
        Looking back at me, she widened her eyes.  "You must know him!
Everyone does.  That's Ten'ou Haruka, the world champion in racing for - oh,
I don't know - like five, seven years in a row.  He's incredible!" she
gushed.
        "Does sh? I - I mean, he come here often?" I stuttered.
        "Yes, he does.  He comes here every day.  He's been doing this for
so
long?five, six years maybe.  There's some rumor circulating that says he
does
it because it used to be some place special between he and some girl who
deserted him.  They say he's lost his head since she went away and comes
here
to remember her.  I don't know, but I say any girl who dumps him must be an
absolute fool!" the waitress told me.
        My cheeks were burning, and my hands shook uncontrollably.
Snatching
the lemonade from the waitress, I gulped down most of it.
        "I'm terribly sorry, but I was dreadfully thirsty," I apologized.
She still regarded me with curiosity, but she smiled back politely and
assured me it was fine.  She took the near-empty glass to refill it.
        "Are you alright?" Giocomo asked me again.
        "Yes!" I said irritably.
        "I can't believe you didn't know Ten'ou Haruka!" he exclaimed.  "I
can't even believe I have the good luck to be in the same restaurant as him.
Did you know?"
 I blocked him out as he began chattering happily about statistics and
racing.  Sighing, I turned to wait for the waitress.
        Letting my eyes dark about the room as my head spun dizzily, hazily,
they landed on another pair of eyes, gazing at me incredulously intently,
locked and unwavering.
        It was her - no doubt about it.  Her mouth was slightly opened, and
her eyes widened to the fullest extent.  She had become deathly pale, her
hand frozen as it gripped an empty glass.  I stared back at her, into those
captivating emerald gems - those eyes that haunted me so often.  The lively
spark no longer was there, but nothing else had changed.
        Nothing...she looked almost...almost as she had before.  Except for
the eyes, the haunting eyes.  And the ghostly pallor.  Seeing the depth of
vacuity, the hollow pain engraved in them, I shuddered to think of what she
had been through.
        "Michiru?" Gicomo shook my shoulder.  Tearing my gaze from hers, I
turned to him questioningly.
        "Why is Mr. Ten'ou staring at you?  Are you two acquaintances?" he
asked excitedly.  I groaned inwardly.
        "No, no?of course not," I lied.  Grabbing my wrist, he jumped up
like
an excited little boy.
        "Well, he's obviously looking at you oddly.  Come on, let's go meet
him," he pulled me along after him while dashing up to Haruka.
        "Gio?Giocomo!" I pleaded.  He paid no attention.  Haruka continued
staring in a mixture of shock and utter incredulity.
        "Mr. Ten'ou Haruka?" Giocomo gushed.
        With great difficulty - I could see - Haruka managed to smile
politely and nod her head.
        We stared nervously at each other as Giocomo gushed happily about
his
admiration of Haruka's driving skills.
        I wanted to be anywhere - absolutely ANYWHERE but there.  To be
staring into my true love's eyes?to remember the agony in her voice as she
called my name the day I left?to remember the love that I had thrown away in
that moment of stupidity and stubborn will to not forgive her?
        "Do you know my fianc饿" Giocomo asked Haruka.  Whipping around, I
turned to look at Giocomo in terror.
        "Your fianc饿" Haruka choked out.
        "Well, you were looking at her, and I presumed you knew her," he
said
sheepishly.
        "You mean her?" she pointed at me.
        "Yes, her," he took hold of my hand.
        "No?I don't?" replied Haruka weakly.  "She merely reminded me of
someone I thought I knew.  Pray, introduce us."
        "This is my fianc饬 Kaiou Michiru," Giocomo smiled.  "We arrived at
Tokyo yesterday.  We will be married the day after tomorrow at the Tokyo
Episcopal Cathedral."
        "Tokyo Episcopal Cathedral?" Haruka asked in a stifled voice.
        "Yes, I chose it.  Isn't it a beautiful choice?" asked Giocomo
proudly.
        I stared at him helplessly, trying to motion to him to leave.
        "Yes, yes, it's a wonderful church," said Haruka distantly. Turning
abruptly, she slammed down a few bills and said to us "Once?once I thought I
would be married there too?" her voice permeated with heart-breaking sorrow
as she walked away, heading toward the exit.
        I stared after her, tears sliding down my own cheeks.
'Haruka?Haruka?come back?come back?I need you?I need you so much?' I
screamed
inside my head, my heart, my soul.
        Giocomo dragged me back to our table, handing me a tissue to wipe my
tears with.  I was trapped back in my own hell?trapped like my ring finger
by
the diamond ring, representing an emotion long denied to me.

        I tossed over in bed, staring into the darkness of the night.  The
moonlight shined through the windowpanes.  Flipping around, I checked the
clock.  It was only two in the morning.  Groaning, I slipped silently out of
bed.  I peered out the window.  A compulsion to run outside seized me.
Throwing on clothes and grabbing my jacket off the hanger, I snuck out,
leaving the white plastic hanger swinging wildly.
        It was chilly, and the cold bit harshly into my skin.  Pulling my
jacket snugly around me, I walked rapidly into the neighboring park, staring
down at the rough concrete path, only lit with the ghostly light of the moon
up above.  Stepping off into the damp grass, I cast my eyes around the
field.
 A dark figure lying in the ground immediately attracted my attention.
Approaching quietly, I hadn't moved a few steps before it sat up and turned
toward me.
        "What the hell are you doing here?" the voice said, startled.  I
recognized the voice - the blonde hair?everything about her instantly.
        I took a step back.  "What are YOU doing here?"
        "Not that it's any of your business, but I come here every night I
can't sleep to look at the moon or stars," she retorted.  "What are you
doing?  Shouldn't you be in bed with your fianc饠- or was it husband?" she
added sarcastically.
        "Haruka, please, don't think like that?" I fidgeted with my hands.
        "Why not?  I see that you had no trouble finding a replacement.  And
I also see that you decided to come back here too finally after you found
someone to replace me and flaunt your new lover in front of your old one,"
she spat out.
        "I didn't ask to come to Tokyo!  If it had been my choice, I
wouldn't
have come back here at all!" I shouted back.
        "Ah, I see.  So you're still mad at me?  So it was just poor luck
that dragged you back here and make you run into me, the evil bitch that, in
your opinion still, killed poor victimized Setsuna and Hotaru?" she glared
at
me.
        "Don't you DARE mock Setsuna and Hotaru," my voice had lowered
dangerously.  "Mock me and shout at me all you want, but you mock them once
more, and I guarantee you I can strike hard."
        She said nothing.
        "Can we talk, Haruka?" I asked her quietly.
        "Oh, so after, what, six years of running away and hiding, you
finally decide you want to come back and 'talk'?" she said bitterly.  "Pray,
what changed your mind?  Your new tie with Lover Boy?"
        "Haruka, I'm so sorry.  I really am?I?I screwed up," my heart sank
at
her own resentment.
        "Sorry?  That's all you can say?  Do you know what hell you put me
through?  God, you wouldn't listen.  You didn't care.  Nothing I said
mattered to you.  One fucking moment of turning to respond to Hotaru and the
car slipped.  And once it slipped on the ice, well, there's no way I could
have got it back under control.  And it spun and hit the railing.  Yeah,
that
one fucking moment was all that it took to kill everything we ever had.  One
moment for how many years?  We had been together for how long?  Ten?
Twelve?
 Did it ever matter to you, Michiru?  After you ran away?ran away after I
did
all I could to try to bring you back, did it ever matter to you?  I let you
go, Michiru, because I believed I mattered - what we had mattered - enough
to
bring you back after you had time to think it over.  And because I loved you
too much to keep you and force you to do anything against your will.  I was
wrong, wasn't I?  The first time I met you?the times I stopped you from
suicide?the way I supported you through your parental trauma?the years
fighting the daimon, the years together battling Neherenia and Galaxia,
college, everything?none of it mattered, evidently.  I guess it all died
with
Setsuna and Hotaru?and now you have a brand new life without me.  I'm glad
you're happy without me.  I'm glad that something positive came for you
after
you dumped me as the scapegoat, the little conniving fool who killed your
beloved daughter and dear Setsuna," Haruka laughed, but it was harsh and
hollow.
        "Don't say those things," I choked out, touching the angry woman's
shoulder.  She pushed my hand away.
        "Don't touch me," she ordered, glaring back at me.
        "I didn't mean to, Haruka, I didn't mean to," I tried to say.
        "If you didn't mean to, you would've come back, damnit.  You meant
to.  No, once I had Hotaru and Setsuna's blood on my hands, I meant nothing
to you.  I just wrecked your whole perfect life, so of course you had to run
away, run away from everything and forget it all.  I'm glad you achieved
your
goal and have a nice little heavenly life now.  So go ahead and go away.  Go
live your perfect life.  That's all you've ever wanted.  Why torture
yourself
with me?  I'm just going to taint it again, aren't I?" Haruka turned away
from me.  A little crystal drop welled up at the end of one of her eyes.
        "Don't you dare say that again.  Do you have any idea what I've been
through?  I came back because I want to apologize, Haruka.  I wanted to
apologize.  I'm so goddamned sorry.  I?I should have forgiven you, Haruka.
I
should have.  Ever since I left?well, what they say is right.  You can't run
from a problem, you have to face it.  I've been through hell, Haruka?I've
been through a living hell.  I should have come back?or stayed.  But?but I
was too scared?" my voice trailed off.
        Haruka stared at me with hard eyes.  "You're too late," she said.
"I'm sick?sick of caring about you, sick of loving you.  Sick of waking up
each day and praying, just hoping that you'd be beside me again, sick of
hoping against hope you still love me and would come back to me.  I'm sick
of
hope, of that evil hope that makes me feel like I can survive - survive a
day
because maybe, maybe you'd come back and everything woudl be fine again and
going to bed each night in even more agony because it was still a hazy
dream,
a mere, distant castle-in-the air.  I'm sick of what you put me through.
And
I'm sick of you."
        "Haruka?I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I don't know what else to say?what
do
you want, Haruka?  What do you want from me?" I was desperate.
        "There's nothing you can say, Ms. Kaiou," she said icily.  "No
amount
of words can soothe six years of pain, of absolute hell.  I just want you to
leave me.  Just leave me to somehow grope through the rest of what pitiful
life I have left."
        "Haruka!  Don't leave me!  Please!" I begged.
        "Oh, I see the position has changed.  Why not, Ms. Kaiou?  Why
should
I stay?  To be your other 'boy' toy?  Go back to your fianc鬠Ms. Kaiou.
He's who belongs in your life.  It's too late for us.  Good-bye.  Enjoy the
rest of your life," she turned her back on me, laughing ironically,
metallically, and walked away.
        I collapsed on the grass coated with dew.  But tears wouldn't come.
This pain was too deep for tears.
        How could she?  How could she just walk from me like that?
        But she was right, wasn't she?  I had left her, left her when she
needed me the most.  I had cut her off without listening to her.  I had
ignored, ignored all that Setsuna and Hotaru warned me about.
        I had been my own worst nightmare, my own demon.  I had
single-handedly finished ripping my life into pieces, burnt it into ashes,
and obliterated the life of my one true love as well.
        Shivering as I stared in the direction Haruka had gone, a glitter
caught my eye.  Stumbling toward it, I kneeled down.
        It was the engagement ring - the ring I flung at Haruka's cheek the
day I left.  Painstakingly, I held it tenderly in my plam and whispered to
the gently blowing breeze, "I love you, Haruka.  I still love you.  I will
always love you, Haruka?whether you hate me or not?I love you?"
        Perhaps it my imagination, yet I could here the wind blowing back to
me "I love you, Michiru?I still love you?I will always love you?never forget
me, Michiru?I will always be with you?"


        The church was filled with people.  There was the low humming of
whispers.  My father obviously did not come to my wedding.  The wedding
would
start any moment now.
        Clutching my bouquet, I stepped forward shakily, one small step at a
time.  I felt dizzy, but I pushed my feet forward until I joined him at the
altar.
        Distantly, I could hear the priest mumbling as I stood beside him.
        Six years ago, six years ago I could have been married here.  Six
years ago, I could have repaired the minor damages.  Six years ago, I could
have been truly happy, could have had all my dreams fulfilled.  Six years
ago, I could have survived.
        Ironic, ironic I would be here now in the same place six years too
late, cementing down a life I knew that would imprison me forever in the
hell, in the ashes of the life I had destroyed myself.  The same place, two
different women with two different lives - two different women under the
same
face?same soul?
        "I do," I turned around just as Giocomo slipped a golden band on my
ring finger.
 The priest faced me now.
        "Do you, Kaiou Michiru, accept Regrito Giocomo as your lawfully
wedded husband as long as you both shall live?"
        I stared into the dark blue eyes of Giocomo.  Nothing.  I read
nothing even remotely close to what I could read in the eyes of Haruka.
This
man?this man would never compare to Haruka.  And for a moment, he faded.  I
could see Haruka standing before me instead.  That was how it should have
been?that was my rightful destiny.
        "Michiru, will you marry me?" Haruka's voice echoed in my head.  Of
course I would... that was all I had ever wanted.  Why couldn't I have kept
it?  How could I have been so stupid as to throw away the one thing that
truly mattered to me?
        "Follow your destiny, Michiru?Follow your destiny?" Setsuna had
warned me to follow my destiny?I threw away my destiny.  I ran away from
it?but I paid for that folly, oh, God, I paid for it.
        "No, Michiru-mama!  Don't be mad at Haruka-papa.  He didn't mean to!
It was all an accident.  You know Haruka-papa would never want to do
something like this.  Don't be mad at Haruka-papa?please?don't be mad?mad?at
Haruka-papa,"  Hotaru and Setsuna had both known, had both used their last
breaths, last seconds alive to warn me.  I had been blind?been foolish to
ignore it.
        "I love you, Michiru!  I love you!  Don't that count for anything?
Look at me, Michiru!  Look at me!  Can you honestly say that you don't love
me anymore?"  I should have answered her?should have answered her six years
ago.  But I didn't?I was still so stupidly stubborn.
        But I knew now.  Too late, I knew.
        "Miss Kaiou Michiru?" prompted the pastor, looking at me anxiously.
        I turned to face Giocomo.
        "I still love Haruka," I said softly.  "I still love her?I never
stopped.  I'm sorry, Giocomo.  I'm so sorry for leading you on.  But I love
Haruka.  I can never love someone else.  I have to find her?I have to find
her and tell her?"  Pulling off the engagement ring and the golden band and
depositing them on the floor, I sighed.  The finger, the ring finger - it
was
finally free.  I was free?free from my hell.
        Walking casually down the steps and down the aisle I had come this
morning the reluctant bride knowing painfully the trap she was securing
herself into, the prison with out a key, I tossed aside my bouquet and tore
off my veil, discarding that upon the velvet carpet, too.  Reaching into a
tiny pocket on the dress, I grasped the diamond engagement ring Haruka had
given me six years ago.  Slipping it on my finger, for the first time in six
years, I smiled.
        My steps quickened as I broke into a run.  Leaping in my car, I
fished my keys from my purse as I sped off.
        Stopping at a stoplight, I closed my eyes.  "Haruka?Haruka?where are
you?Haruka?" I whispered to myself.
        Turning, I rushed toward the racetrack.  Dashing inside I dug out a
few bills from my purse and shoved them in the ticket collectors hand.  I
ran
past him before he could say a word.
        Inside, the spectators were all their feet.  I turned and looked.  A
racecar lay upside down, blazing.  Beside it, a body still wrapped in a
charred suit lay still.
        Terror racing through my veins, I scrambled down the steps.  A fence
blocked me from the racetrack.  Jumping on to it agilely, I quickly climbed
over it.  As I raced toward Haruka, I realized my long wedding dress had
caught on the fence.  Annoying, I tugged at the white satin.  There was a
tearing sound, and a strip of my dress remained on the fence.  Paying no
attention, I ran toward the body.  Arriving, I pulled the dirt-streaked
helmet off.
        The blonde hair told the whole story.  With extraordinary effort,
Haruka pushed her eyelids open.
        "Michiru?  Michiru?  Is this a dream?" she croaked.
        "No, Haruka, this is no dream or delusion," I smiled, stroking her
burnt cheeks gently.  "I'm here for good."
        She started to look skeptical, but her eyes fell upon the glistening
Neptune sign on the diamond ring.  Turning back, she smiled back at me.
Suddenly, she coughed spasmodically.
        "I'm glad?I'm glad I at least get to die in your arms," she
struggled
to speak.
        "No," I began, but she cut me off.
        "I love you?I love you, Michiru?" she smiled weakly at me.
        "I love you, too," I smiled.  "I always did, I always will."
        "I'm sorry, Michiru, I'm very sorry.  I want you to know I am, and I
forgive you?everything you did?maybe I deserved it," her eyes fluttered
shut.
        "No, don't say that?I'm sorry too, Haruka, I'm sorry, oh, God, I'm
sorry?" I whispered.  She did not answer.  Her gloved hand, which I had
held,
went limp in my arms.  Frantically, I felt for her pulse.  There was none.
        I screamed inside my mind - a piercing cry of hopelessness echoing
the pain in my soul as I witnessed my life crumbling and falling before me
again, razed to the ground, pulverized by this last fatal blow.
        And there was no hope, not even the faintest glimmer of it.  All
hope, all joy, all I had in the world, all life died with her.
        "Don't go, Haruka?Don't go?Don't leave me alone here, Haruka, Don't
go?" entreaties were too late.  She had gone, leaving behind her frozen,
lifeless body.  "Don't go?" The wind swept up the fading words and lifted
them to the sky.
 [song plays]
 Maybe in another life,
 I could find you there
 Pulled away before your time
 I can't deal, it's so unfair
 And it feels, yeah, it feels like
 Heaven's so far away
 And it feels, yeah it feels like
 The world has grown cold
 Now that you've gone away

 Leaving flowers on your grave
 Show that I still care
 Black roses and Hail Mary's
 Can't bring back what's taken from me
 I reach to the sky
 And call out your name
 And if I could trade, I would
 And it feels, yeah, it feels like
 Heaven's so far away
 And it seems, yeah, it seems now
 The world is so cold
 Now that you've gone away
 (Gone away, gone away, gone away, gone away
 Yeah, yeah, yeah?)

 I reach to the sky
 And call out your name
 Oh, please, let me trade, I would

 And it feels, yeah, it feels like
 Heaven's so far away
 And it feels, yeah, it feels like
 The world has grown cold
 Now that you've gone away
 (Gone away, gone away, gone away, gone away
 Yeah, yeah, yeah?)
 "Gone Away", by The Offspring, CD: "Ixnay on the Hombre"

 [From this point, the story told from Michiru's point of view has ended.
The epilogue of this will be written in third person.  The tense also
changes.]

        She walks steadily, mechanically on.  She neither smiles nor frowns,
and her face is perfectly expressionless - not calm - just expressionless,
so
vacant as though her spirit no longer dwells upon this earth.  Judging from
her ebony black attire, the train trailing behind her, she must have come
form a funeral or some form of mourning.
 She stares ahead with her blind, blank eyes and steps into a deserted
racing
track arena.  She walks in rigidly and stop momentarily at the entrance.
Her
vapid eyes harden for a moment, a wild mixture of wild hatred - though at
whom it was directed was unseen -, sorrow, unfathomably deep anguish,
resentment, and regret.  She closes her eyes briefly, and when she reopens
them, the turquoise eyes once again reflect silent emptiness, mirroring the
void inside herself.  She walks into the arena without further hesitation
and
passes by the empty seats.  She places her feet upon the fence and with
amazing agility, leaps over it.  Gracefully as always, she steps onto the
track and trudges upon the gravel path.  Suddenly, she swerves aside and
stops beside it.  She glares down for a moment, the eyes raging wildly again
with the torrent of bitter feelings.    She lifts her hand, an iridescent
ring catching the colors of the rainbow.  Slowly, she slips the ring off and
drops it upon the ground.  The wind blows.  Reaching for her black purse,
she
pulls out two golden sticks.
        She pauses for a moment, and stares above at the sky.  She says
nothing, though her mouth moves silently.  Her eyes close, she slowly moves
the two sticks together, her hands trembling, her knuckles white with
pressure.
        She opens her eyes, still clouded with the inner storm.  She stares
intensely at the two sticks as they touch.
        Nothing happens.  All is still.
        Her mouth moves slowly once more, silently chanting within the
tormented maze of her mind.  A watery crystal slides from the azure pools
and
falls down her pale skin, like flawless ivory.  It drips upon the sticks.
        And then, a distant sonic boom shakes the ground.  The ground
quivers
with immense force as seats are uprooted and stones break loose at the
arena.
 Popcorn fly about.  Lightning strikes from the heavens and the sky splits
open, water pouring down.  As though an invisible ocean flooded, waves -
such
as those found in the most extreme of tsunamis - crash in.
        She stands calmly, smiling softly and cryptically to herself.  She
says nothing.  She stoops and picks up the ring gently, cradling it.  She
slips it upon her fingers as the water soaks her dress.  She serenely
watches
as the walls crumble around her, the debris flying anywhere.  A stone
strikes
her on the cheek as a small trickle of blood is seen.
        She makes no movements.  She knows she will never leave, but she
seems to be begging Death to extend his Ruthless hand and strike her down.
        She twists her head to watch a bolt of lightning strike and
incinerate a wooden plank, beaming to herself.
        "I'm coming, Haruka," she whispered to it lovingly.  "And this time,
I'll never leave?"
 A wave washes over her and another flash of lightening extends down to her.

        And then?silence.  The water rises in a swirling column and retreats
into the darkened firmament.  The sky lightened, wispy patches of clouds set
against the light blue background.  The arena stands, demolished.
        Her body can be found nowhere.  And her soul is where she longed to
be her whole life?in paradise?wherever SHE was?

        Two small headstones - both with the intertwined signs of Uranus and
Neptune - still stand.  Between them, the two henshin sticks lay beside each
other, the diamond ring atop them.
 And the lake still stretches out for an eternity behind them, the sky still
blanketing it, as it will forever.

 Author's Note: I think I made some spelling mistakes, but, oh, well.  I'm
not perfect, alright?  And I believe this is definitely by far the shortest
piece I've ever written.  I guess I just didn't feel up to writing a novel
this time?or else that it covers a much shorter amount of time?or I don't
know!  I don't feel satisfied with this story.  Something is missing about
it.  I don't know.  I just don't like it.  I can't pinpoint WHAT I hate
about
it, but?I just feel very dissatisfied with it.  I mean, it's?oh, I don't
know.  With the other two, I just know they're not great stories or
anything,
but it's the best a person like me is capable of doing on those subjects.
But this one?it's just not well written overall.  So if you hate it, now you
know why.  Maybe someday, when I get smarter, I'll revise this.  And I'll
ship out the new edition, ok?  And if I never get smart enough to do that,
well, just deal.  *sigh*  Did you hate it as much as I did?  Comments to
DarkPluto4@aol.com, for the one-millionth time.
 Oh, yeah, um, if you're e-mailing me about why all my fan/fics so far are
so
depressing, well, don't bother.  Because I'm not going to write bright,
happy
fan/fics because I'm a pessimistic, dark, negative, depressing, cynical,
satirical, sarcastic b*tch who can't do anything but gripe and moan and
depress everyone, ok?  I'm not the optimistic, happy little type of person
who lives in some little blissful dreamworld, and so I will always write
negative, tragic, melodramatic fan/fics that moan about someone's pathetic
little sob story.  Ok?
 Note:  (No, I am not PMSing, I'm always like this)  (yeah, I know I'm
really
scaring you now, but that's just the way I am)