L*: Hi. This is Chapter 8, part 9. Cher: Another Damn Adventure. L*: Yeah, What she said. Cher: I am really looking forward to our sequal. L*: Cher, why do you always blow everything? Cher: Nani? What doest thou meanst? L*: Um... Cher: Doest thou refereth to thine ideas for a sequal? L*: Go away you're creeping me out. Cher: I'm just kidding. Kami, you are way to serious. You need to lighten up! L*: *blinks* Are you high? Cher shakes her head. Cher: NO! Why doest thou thinkst that? Oh. L*: Listen, I need to go get some food. Cher: While you're getting some Nabisco? Brand Oreos?, would you mind getting me a glass of P?epsi Cola Moutain Dew?? L*: Um... Listen, I want no part in this brand naming stuff! Cher: Really? I'm doing it to raise money to buy the rights to Bish󪯠Senshi Sailormoon? L*: Really? Count me in... Cher: Okay, sign here, and then we'll start the fic. L*: Let's start the fic NOW! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Cher: Ugh... Kizy-chan... what happened? Kizu sighed, and looked at the awakening girls. Kizu: The youma came. He attacked and blasted you. I quickly got you all out of harms way, but it took me at least half an hour before I was able to get the diary out alive. Gia: Because all the other tries you died and were resurrected? Cher shot a glare at the shrugging Giaque. Cher: Don't make me hurt you. I've already warned you... Gia: Oh be quiet mighty giant. Cher then pounced onto Giaque while Kizu held up a wad of Cash. Kizu: 3000 yen on Cher! 100-1 odds! I bet you 3000, and I'll pay you 300,000 yen if she loses! X: I'll buy! So then X and Kizu started wagering on their respect girls and cheering them on. L* sighed, and skimmed through the diary. Her eyes widened. L*: Oh Kizu, you're soo sweet... Cher you really out to see this! Cher suddenly stopped, and looked at L*. Cher: What do you mean? L*: 'My angel has astound me yet again... If only she wouldn't fight the youma's Not yet is she strong enough. My Cherry-' Cher gasped and left the 'ring' and grabbed the diary. X laughed. X: Cher gave up Kizu, that means Giaque-chan is the winner, which means that you owe me 300,000 yen... Kizu grumbled, and said 'I'll pay you later.' X grinned. L* blinked a few times as Cher giggled at the diary. L*: Minna? Shouldn't we get going? Kizu blinked, and stared at Dakasina. Kizu: Dakasina-chan, didn't you take notes? What are we supposed to do now? Dakasina flipped through her notes. Daka: 'Retrieve the item... immediately brought back to this time dimension and you will have to master the true power of the item over time... MUST destroy all teenyboppers... remain living... help to Hotaru and Chibi-Usa... gather an army of demented teenyboppers. Once you have destroyed the teenyboppers your "item" will activate itself and your powers will be upgraded. Then you must contact me. Final battle with Hotaru and Chibi-Usa... MUST receive my go ahead. The item is the most important thing in this mission.' Kizu: So we got the lyrics, so now what? Daka: According to this... They were cut off by the shrill beep of L*'s communicator stopped everyone. L* turned it on and saw the fuzzy image of Naoko. L*: Naoko-sama! We got the lyrics and we're heading to destroy the teenyboppers! What's the matter? Naoko: *fzzt*-Rick! You aren't *fzzt* face the teenyboppers! If you *fzzt*, then you'll die! You don't know the *fzzt* it will cause! *fzzt**fzzt**fzzt* hurry! Go to Dimension *fzzt* to get a new item! Kizu knows the dimension. Then I'll *fzzt* you the go ahead. GO! Cher blinked. Cher: Naoko-sama! Can I have orange heart shaped odango's next time around? Everyone hit Cher with something, and Kizu slid by. The line was cut, and everyone blinked. L*: Okay, so let's go! Daka: So the number was what Kizu? Everyone blinked, and Cher was taking notes. Kizu: Ungh... It starts with a 3, right? Cher: Minna how do you spell ungh? Cher tapped her skull thoughtfully with the pencil in her hand. L*: CHER NO BAKA SHUT UP HE'S TELLING US WHERE TO GO! Cher jumped in surprise and continued writing down Kizu's words. Kizu: It's a time shifter. We need to go further back in past to get it. Like Maverick said, it's 17 432 years back we must find it...ungh... dimension #3... Maverick stared at Kizu in confusion. L*: But we have a time shifter. She produced the controller that Naoko had given her and waved it in front of Kizu's face. Kizu: This time shifter is more precise. It allows us to move to and from times as well as planets. It's the latest in technological time travel. For more information phone Sony Electronics to receive your free brochure. Cher looked up from her notepad. Cher: Is that Sony with a y or with an ie? Kizu's eyes fluttered shut and he moaned in pain. Gia: Shouldn't we try to give him strength or something like that... you know so he's strong. The others stared at Giaque in confusion. Daka: Hai, I mean we can't exactly travel back in time with a dead weight. The others nodded in unison, all except Kousagi. Kou: We could all put our powers together...that could work. Maverick looked at Kousagi and grinned. L*: Hai that could work. Minna power up now! Cher looked around desperately and threw her notepad down. Cher: But L* I'm not transformed yet wait a second. She lowered her voice to a whisper and thrust her thumb at him. Cher: I don't want him to know who I am...he could be a spy...for the Pleasers of Pop. Maverick grinned and shrugged. L*: Oh well, it's sexy hunk or no sexy hunk, up to you. Glaring at Maverick, Cher pulled out her henshin pen. Cher: Fine have it your way. PIRATE OF THE MOON ETERNAL MAKE-UP! Cannons blasted around her and black, red and yellow ribbons covered her body. L*: Ok minna let's get mixing. Bursts of energy poured from each of the senshi and occasional sparks flew from Kousagi. The energy streams joined into a ball and hovered above Kizu's unconcious body. The energy gathered a few more sparks from Kousagi and melded into Kizu's body. Cher: Is he alright? I mean we don't have to ask that Fat Hentai guy for help do we? Maverick lowered her hands to her side and approached Kizu. L*: He looks alright to me. Pushing past Maverick, Cher fell to her knees beside Kizu. Cher: YO KIZU PICK UP THE PHONE! Kizu's eyes shot open. Kizu: WAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!???!!!! Cher: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSUUUUUUPPPPPPP???!!!!?!!! Kizu: WAAAAAASSSSSSSAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH Cher: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS Kizu: SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPP????????!!!!!!!!??????? Cher: So what's up B? Kizu: Waking up from unconsciousness, having a bud. Cher: True, true. Maverick stormed over to the couple and yanked Cher to her feet. L*: Are you two quite finished? I mean we *do* have the world to save, or did you forget? Cher looked down at her feet and mumbled an apology. Kizu: Gomen Maverick it's just that... Another loving glance was directed at Cher. Chavu: Hey Kizu I think we need to get your eyes checked out or something. You keep looking at Cher as if she's some Pamela Anderson Lee/Britney Spears look-a-like. Cher's hands flew to her ears. Cher: NO NO NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT NOT BRITNEY SPEARS! Diving under Maverick's legs Cher's bottom lip trembled. Cher: Kizu tell them that I DO NOT look like Britney Spears. Kizu shook his head dreamily. Kizu: Far from it my sweet...OUF! Kizu was interrupted by a rocketing Kousagi. She giggled happily pulling at Kizu's hair. Kou: KIZIKIZI-CHAN IS AWAKE NOW! NOW WE SAVE THE WORLD FROM MY BAKA ONEE-SAN! Kizu smiled bitterly at the little girl who had interrupted him. Kizu: Hai, hai we can. Picking herself off the ground Cher walked over to X who had been unusually quiet. Cher: X you feeling alright? You've been awfully quiet. X looked up from the notepad and shook her head. X: Don't they teach you anything in schools? You spelt ungh wrong baka. Cher sweat dropped and she glared at X, grabbing her collar Cher dragged X back to the others. Cher: Alright minna we're going to the past. Maverick grabbed the remote control that Naoko had given her and looked at it quizzically. L*: I wonder if the time is programmed in...oh well who cares. She pushed the big red button and the eight bodies shimmered before disappearing. ~~~~~~~~ L*: OUF! You know I'm getting quite used to these random, rough landings. They're hell on my back though. Is someone sitting on my eyes? Several muffled replies were heard and a loud SMOOCH! Kizu: Oh Cher-chan. Then a SLAP! Kizu: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR? Gia: It's me baka Kizu. Cher-chan is over there. L*: SOMEBODY GET OFF MY FACE I CAN'T SEE A DAMN THING! Cher: Minna? Where are we? Why can't I see anything? Kizu: Relax Cher-chan we'll be fine. Cher: Why do you keep talking with that dreamy voice? L*: GET OFF MY FACE! Gia/X/Daka/Chavu: NO ONE IS ON YOUR FACE...WE ARE SURROUNDED IN DARKNESS, BAKA-HEAD! L*: oh...right. Alright who turned out the lights. Kou: I don't think there are any lights. A rustling could be heard then a click. A small flame flickered in Kizu's hand. He moved around slightly and then tossed his flame away. It landed on a pile of sticks and leaves. Suddenly light filled the space they were in. It was as if the sun had risen and the fire spread throughout the whole dimension. Kizu: Well that settled that little issue. Cher pulled herself off the ground and pulled Kousagi into her arms. Maverick rubbed her eyes and the other senshi leant against one another. Chavu: I hate time travel, I hate heights, I hate pleasers of poop and I HATE THOSE KAWAII LITTLE DINOSAUR POPCORN MAKERS! Dakasina rubbed Chavuni's back sympathetically and smiled in support. X: We'll be fine don't worry. This dimension looks pretty big. Where do you think the shifter may be? Everyone shrugged and Cher carried Kousagi to a small rock and placed her down. As she leant over the rock she noticed a bumper sticker on the ground it read: Put politicians in their place...LANDFILLS! Cher fell to the ground in laughter and rolled around, receiving many curious stares from the rest of the group. L*: Ah...Cher what are you laughing at? Cher thrust the sticker to Maverick who in turn joined Cher on the ground in laughter. Gia: you guys are strange...hey what's that over there? Giaque strolled over to yet another bumper sticker on the ground. Gia: You guys it's another one...it says: Had a life...traded it for a faster modem. Cher and Maverick stood and made their way over to Giaque. L*: Hey and there's another one, and another one, look they make a trail. We should follow it...it may lead to the shifter. The others nodded in agreement and the group set off following a trail of bumper stickers. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ They had been following the bumper stickers for over an hour now and the whole group was tired and hungry. Daka: Here's another one. Her voice was monotonous and she shoved yet another bumper sticker into her now overfilled bag. Kou: HEY LOOK IT'S A FACTORY A FACTORY WITH SMOKE AND... Kousagi sniffed at the air... Kou: I CAN SMELL FOOD IT'S GOT FOOD! Jumping off Kizu's back Kousagi rocketed towards the factory. The others followed her more than willingly to the door of the factory, where Kousagi was banging impatiently at the door. A deep voice echoed throughout the desert plains. ?: Hold your horses, I'm coming, I'm coming. Who could be visiting me at this time...who could be in this dimension more like it. The door swung open and a fat man stood with a Foster's beer in his stubby hand. ?: Hello, and who might you be, why are you here and what's with the sailor outfits? Maverick smiled tiredly. L*: I am Sailor Maverick of the *mumbles* system. This is my partner, Sailor Pirate Moon, and our colleagues, Sailor X, Sailor Giaque, Sailor Dakasina, Sailor Chavuni, Princess Kousagi Serenity and Tsuki no Kizu. We have been following a trail of bumper stickers for about two hours now and we are very VERY tired. Could you please let us in and give us food? The man looked at Maverick in confusion and gestured the group inside. ?: My name's Bumpy...I live her in this dimension by myself...you aren't the group that Nao-chan sent are you? She told me you were a lively bunch. You guys look like you haven't slept in days. Cher glared at the man and collapsed at a small table. The sound of grinding machinery could be heard in the factory. Kizu: What is this place? Bumpy: This my friend is the factory of bumper stickers. I invent bumper stickers here. It's a lonely job but someone's gotta do it. Cher gazed at the bumper sticker in her hand and burst into laughter. Cher: Well you're good at it that's for sure. Tell me Bumpy what time are we in? Bumpy smiled and turned the kettle on. Bumpy: Why this is the time before time. Or as I like to call it TBT, it's before the world was even created. I've been sent here to create bumper stickers, I have to be here so no one else will clone my stickers. The others nodded in understanding and watched Bumpy bustle about the kitchen. Bumpy: I have your time shifter also. Naoko told me a long time ago that it would be very important, I haven't let it out of my sight since. Bumpy reached up to a high shelf and pulled a book off it. A panel in the wall slid open and a glowing remote control, similar to the one that Naoko had given them only slightly bigger and blue in colour, sat on a small column sparkling brightly. Gia: You call that never letting it out of your sight? It seems pretty out of sight to me. Cher: That's it? That's really it? No big adventures? No mysterious fog, just a remote control locked in some guy's safe who makes...UMPH! Maverick shoved a hand over Cher's mouth and smiled. Bumpy grinned and handed the remote to Maverick. Bumpy: Here let me show you how to use it. You just program in the place and time and then flick this switch then press the button in the corner. It's got a TV, radio, internet access, oh and one of those kawaii little dinosaur popcorn makers. A groan could be heard from Chavuni's way and she stifled her anger with a cough. Bumpy pulled a tray out of the oven with eight blue pills on them. Bumpy: Here Naoko sent these for you. They're... Kizu: Rejuvenation pills we know we've had them before. The group shoved their pills into their mouth and thanked Bumpy. L*: So did Naoko-sama possibly tell you where we have to go with this thing? Bumpy smiled and he shrugged. Bumpy: I think she said that she was going to call you and tell you stuff, but I have to tell you that you have to go to earth for a few minutes for her to make her connection. The group thanked Bumpy once again and programmed the Time Shifter. L*: Well minna we're off to the baka earth. Cher grinned and started to hum a tune Cher: Oh we're going to find Uranus, on a mountain on mars...ON A MOUNTAIN ON MARS!.....OUF! Maverick grabbed Cher's collar and pulled her next to her. The group joined hands and Maverick pressed the button in the corner. L*: Here we go again. ************************** Cher and L* bounce in from off stage L*: Damn it Cher, why must you always advertise things in our fics? Cher: Because it's fun. L*: Great. Damnit, now we have to read this big long disclaimer now. Cher: Wha? L* pulls out a 537 page disclaimer that deals with all advertising in fanfiction. L*: Okay Cher, here you go. Cher: Why do I have to read it? L*: Because- Cher: You're discriminating against me because I'm an Aussie, that's it, isn't it? L*: ... Cher: I KNEW IT! YOU'RE DISCRIMINATING AGAINST ME! SHE'S DISCRIMINATING THE AUSSIE POPULATION! YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE YOU'RE A TOSSER! L*: ......................................................................... ............................................................................. ............................................................................. ............................................................................. ............................................................................. ............................................................................. ............................................................................. ............................................................................. ............................................................................. ............................................. I don't have to deal with this. L* leaves while Cher scribbles Aussies rule Americans are tossers all over the walls. Cher: SHE'S AN... AMERICAN TOSSER! SHE'S AN... AMERICAN TOSSER! AMERICAN TOSSER! AMERICAN TOSSER! AMERICAN TOSSER! AMERICAN AMERICAN AMERICAN TOSSER! L* comes back onstage and pulls out a red semi-frozen water ballon that says 'lawsuit' on it. She tosses the lawsuit at Cher. It shatters on Chers head. L*: Is that why I'm a tosser? I can toss stuff? Soon they begin tossing lawsuits back and forth. Soon a lawyer, aka, Law Suit Man, comes in. He pickes up the disclaimer and begins to read. LSM: L*/Cher: SHUT THE HELL UP! Then they began tossing Lawsuits at lawsuit man, making him run away like a little girl. Cher: Stay tuned for out next chapter, entitled "Sifting the Sands", brought to you by "How the Grinch Stole Christmas", now playing in a theater near you. L*: DAMNIT CHER! L* pulls out her Arrow of Darkness and starts chasing down Cher. Cher: Help me!