~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` Be Still My Heart (part 1) By Chibi V babe chibi_chibi_acky@hotmail.com Let me sum it up to all those lawyers out there: no own, no money, no sue. ****************************** ?Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without without hope and confidence.? --Helen Keller ****************************** Usagi quietly packed her things, a few clothes, a stuffed bunny she just couldn?t leave behind, and pictures... What in Kami-sama?s name possessed her to bring those? A few of the Scouts, her family, and Mamoru... Her Mamo-chan... But not anymore... The scouts had shunned her, Mamoru broke up with her, and her family obviously didn?t care... why would they? ?You, Usagi Tsukino, The Champion of Love Justice, and Princess of the long dead Moon Kingdom, are a utter failure.? a little voice in her mind scolded her, ?Why would anyone care about you? You Baka! Baka! Baka! No one would notice if you were gone, the world doesn?t need you to slow it down!? ?Minako cares!? she thought desperately ?Sure Usagi, keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better.? Why did the voice suddenly sound a lot like Luna? ?It?s probably just guilt? thought Serena as she snapped her suitcase shut. Luna had decided to stay over at Minako?s house, she was too disappointed to even meet Usagi?s eye. She sighed at sat down on her bed, rubbing the heels of her hands against her eyes, contemplating her situation: She and Minako were at the courthouse, searching through records to prove that they were really long lost cousins (and they were!) when out of the blue, who decides to show up and ruin the celebration? That?s right, you guessed it. A youma sent by Rubeus. So Sailor Venus and Sailor Moon fought, and finally beat the god-forsaken creature... but not without a price. Venus, in an attempt to save her Princess and new-found cousin, tried to push Usagi out of the way to save her life. Unfortunately, it didn?t work out that way. Venus arrived a second too late, and Usagi slammed against the wall. She had held back her tears, she wouldn?t cry in front of the youma, she wouldn?t give it that pleasure. She stood up, whipped out her scepter, and dusted it. Venus ran over to check to make sure she was all right, while Usagi desperately tried to hid her burned back. Then just when they thought they were through, the communicators beeped. A youma in the park. What a pleasant surprise! Venus said to go on without her, while she woke everyone up. Usagi nodded and ran, well actually limped, to the battle scene as fast as her wounded body could take her. Not good, she remembered telling herself, not good at all. And so the story goes that she dusted the youma, got yelled at, actually more like screamed at, by Rei. Ami was hurt, and Makoto was helping her to stand, both bore the look of betrayal. No one noticed her back, no one asked about Minako?s whereabouts. No one cared. She held back the tears until the final moment... When Mamoru walked away without a word... But she didn?t care about them, no one obviously cared about her. Usagi grabbed her Star Locket and her compact from her pink dresser. ?My god, my room does look like a Barbie isle!? she thought with a slight frown She carefully retrieved the Silver Crystal from her compact, and stared at it for a long time. Never before had she noticed all the different colors that lit it up like a candle. She seriously considered leaving it for Chibi-Usa, that little brat that she had come to love. Who knows, maybe the Scouts would need it. And she didn?t even want to think herself the Moon Princess... not until she got the guilt off her chest and as long as the role was related to him... But at the last moment, she attached it to a chain, and slipped it over her Odangos, where it rested peacefully against her breast bone. ?They wouldn?t be able to use it, it?ll be safe with me.? she thought, ?Besides, technically it?s mine.? She took the locket in her right hand, and her brooch in the other, and just... stared at them. She tip-toed over to her desk, and took out a pink pad of paper with smiling bunnies. Damn those cheerful bunnies. She made a mental note to never decorate her room with pink or bunnies again. She carefully began to write a note to Luna: ?An empty brooch for a warrior?s empty shell. I think I?ll leave you with those words. Never will you understand me, my actions, or my life. Just think of all the things you never knew, and drown in your own self-pity.? she wrote. She didn?t even sign her name. ?Wow, that was pretty good, I think I?ll just let her think about it.? she thought with an evil grin. She opened the brooch and folded the letter neatly placing it inside. Her door opening a crack snapped her out of her reverie. Chibi-Usa poked her head inside, ?Usagi-baka, what are you doing?? she whispered. ?I?m packing, what does it look like?? Usagi snapped back a little harsher than she thought she would. Chibi-Usa?s crimson eyes widened as it hit her, ?You?re running away?? she whispered in fright. Usagi didn?t answer, but Chibi-Usa knew she had nailed it. She had to do something quick, or she would be left behind. ?You know what my name it short for?? she asked as Usagi continued to pack her pictures. ?Well here goes nothing, Puu please forgive me! I just realized it now... how could I have missed it?? she thought. She took a deep breathe: ?It?s short for Princess Usagi Small Lady Serenity, daughter of Neo-Queen Serenity and King Endymion, heiress of the Earth, Moon, and the Silver Imperium Crystal.? she said trying to remember all that her mother had taught her. The picture slid out of Usagi?s hands and landed with a soft *clank*. She spun around and made eye-contact with Chibi-Usa, ?NANI?? she whispered in shock. ?You heard me, I?m your daughter from the future. I was sent back to save my Mama... which is you so... I guess you can save yourself now!? Chibi-Usa said thinking it over. ?Mamo-chan and I have a child. What a wonderful, yet scary thought.? Usagi thought sitting slowly back down on the bed. Would Chibi-Usa have the chance to live if she left? Chibi-Usa moved her future mother?s side, ?Usagi-chan, are you all right?? she whispered in a worried voice. Usagi nodded slowly still staring off into space, ?I always wondered why you remind me so much of myself... well besides the fact that you?re smarter than I am, but still... Is it really true Chibi-Usa-chan?? Usagi whispered hoarsely. Chibi-Usa smiled and nodded, ?I always thought you were as pretty as my Mama, she?s the prettiest person in the world... and I always feel so safe around you.? Chibi-Usa whispered. Then, from out of nowhere, Usagi threw her arms around the little girl. ?Oh Chibi-Usa-chan... I can?t leave now...? she whispered in the flamingo haired child?s hair. Chibi-Usa pulled away, ?No. NO! You can?t stay just because of me, I?d feel too guilty.? she said staring at the floor. ?But I can?t leave you here all by yourself, what if Rubeus comes?? asked Usagi lifting the little girl?s chin up. Chibi-Usa?s eyes brightened and a grin spread across her face, ?You can take me with you!? she said excitedly. ?I don?t know Chibi-Usa...? Usagi started. ?Please? You?re the only one that really cares about me, my home is where you are... Mama.? the little girl whispered. Usagi eyes softened, ?I wouldn?t mind the company, but I wouldn?t have enough money to support us...? she said sadly. Chibi-Usa?s appeared to be in deep thought, then she snapped her fingers, ?I know! We can find Michiru-san!? ?Who?s Michiru-san?? asked Usagi a little bit surprised. ?She?s Sailor Neptune silly!? Chibi-Usa said almost annoyed. ?I?m not even gonna ask, not even gonna ask? thought Usagi. ?Then we could help her find Haruka-san, she?s Sailor Uranus. Then we could go save the future!? the little girl said clapping her hands together. Usagi sighed, ?All right, go pack Small Lady.? she said shooing her out the door. Chibi-Usa froze, ?What did you just call me?? she asked. ?Small Lady... where did that come from?? Usagi wondered out loud. Chibi-Usa smiled, ?That?s the name Mama gave me... please call me that.? Usagi nodded, ?All right, now go pack... Small Lady.? she whispered. The little girl smiled and disappeared out the door. Usagi?s smile faded as she began the task of writing Minako a letter Mina-chan, Hey girl! I must be gone by now, and the Senshi must think I?ve lost my mind, but in all truth, it was mine to give away. Chibi-Usa has come with me... they are for reasons I don?t dare explain, there?ll be another time... another place perhaps. I Princess Serenity, your cousin, officially declare you the leader of the Sailor Senshi, in my place. I hope that they?ll find it in their hearts to forgive me, I can?t make up for the past. What?s done is done, nothing can prevent that. Take care of the girls for me, and keep an eye on Mamo-chan. I still love him I guess... but he wouldn?t dare love a stupid, klutzy, blonde haired bimbo like me. Take care of yourself, don?t do anything drastic. Stop looking, I don?t want to be found. When I?m ready, when the guilt is lifted off my shoulders, I?ll call you. Oh, please make sure Luna finds a home with another Senshi, I always knew she never liked me... Since you?re the goddess of Love, make sure Shingo doesn?t screw up his relationship with Mika, they?re so cute together. Well I have to go now... I promise I?ll write you soon. Keep the faith V-babe, save the tears for someone that they?re worth. With love, Your Rabbit of the Moon Usagi Tsukino She sealed it in a envelope and wrote V-babe on the front. Next came the hardest one of all: Mamo-chan?s letter. Oh sure, she could act like a first class bitch and yell at him... but he?d probably just laugh at it knowing him... oh well here goes nothing: ?No Regrets? she wrote and slipped it inside of the Star Locket ?There,? thought Usagi, ?I don?t need to sign my name... he?ll know.? ?Ready Usagi?? asked Chibi-Usa with her suitcase and Luna P ball in tow. She nodded slowly picking up her things. She scanned her room for what she thought was the last time, and slowly shut the door. ?We have to stop at the park first.? she whispered Usagi as she and Chibi-Usa made their way out into the nighttime darkness. The moon hung in the sky like a discarded finger nail clipping. Chibi-Usa nodded, not quite sure what her future mother had in store. As they came to the park, Usagi?s breathe caught in her chest. ?Kami-sama, I?m really gonna do this.? she thought. She walked over to the rose garden, where she and Mamoru had always sat and talked. She plucked a red rose, and then a white one from a nearby bush. She let the thorns dig into her porcelain hands, the blood dripped onto the white rose, sprinkling it with a crimson color. She slowly walked over to their bench and set down the roses and the Star Locket with the note inside and backed away from it, her eyes never leaving the items, almost as if she expected them to get up and follow her. Chibi-Usa was about to question why Usagi would leave something so precious to her mother sitting on a bench for anyone to steal, but decided against it as Usagi made her way back over. Usagi smiled a the young girl -- her future daughter and softly whispered, ?Let?s go Small Lady.? And with that, they left. ****************************** *Nudges the reader* Hey wake up! Send me any comments, flames, or death threats to me please! I?m doing this for you guys... Do you think I write 5 page parts for nothing? Didn?t think so! Send me any of YOUR stories to my site at http://fly.to/hosm or www.earthandmoon.homestead.com/Crescent.html okay doekay hokey pokey? Luv ya guys lots, keep reading!