Name: 'The truth about Ami: Revelations', episode 3. Author: Cony. E-mail: rubi@riemann.mat.puc.cl Rated: PG-13. Again, the violence in this chapter boils a bit, but nothing extreme. Nothing you wouldn't see on a citcom. Stuff at bottom!! * * * * * * * * * * * * * * When she finally finished, everyone remained still for some seconds. Michiru and Haruka were totally astonished. Ami--Reiko, a spy?. A martial art master?. A secret agent?. It was all too much to bear. The Senshi of Neptune asked: "Reiko-chan . . . you sure about what you're talking about?". Reiko's eyes flared in anger, as the older girl questioned her story. "*Of course*, Michiru-san". A soft hand was placed on her shoulder, and she turned to see Hiroshi. Their eyes remained locked on each other for a few seconds, and hundreds of words passed between them. When he released her shoulder, she was visibly calmer. The stress to tell her story had taken it's toll. To revive what had happened so long ago, and that she wanted the most to forget, was no easy task at all . . . * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * While I talked, I could sense my 'friends' thoughts. We're all linked somehow, and sometimes, I'm able to get glimpses of their minds. 'Demon . . . . monster . . . murderer . . . stranger . . .'. I close my eyes in defeat. I've tried so hard to make them understand . . . but they refuse to. They just can't accept the fact that Mizuno Ami is gone . . . that I'm Suiseki Reiko now. Before I can continue sinking deeper and deeper into my fatal mood, I hear a voice: , I think, before actually hearing what she's going to say: "But . . . this is so weird . . . as if someone had planned it . . . as if it had been set!". How well do her words express my own feelings!. How many times have I pondered how many 'coincidences' led to my encounter with Hiroshi and the agency . . . if I had walked home with Hikaru that day . . . if I hadn't looked into the alley . . . if I had chosen death as the alternative . . . so many 'what if's' that it just can't be a coincidence. It was as if someone or something was guiding me into that path. As if someone wanted me to join the agency. "It was". My head bolts up in surprise as a low voice spoke. My eyes snap open, and land on Setsuna-san. She was the one who just spoke. Without even noticing it, I stand up, the chair crashing against the floor behind me. "What did you say?". I almost scream in amazement. No one stops me this time. I can feel as Hiroshi is just as surprised as I am. The Senshi of Time speaks again, while playfully looking at her long red fingernails. "It was planned". Less than a second before she ends, I'm already by her side, grabbing the edge of her jacket and forcing her to stand up. "Repeat what you just said". Her magenta eyes are fixed on mine, full of knowledge and confidence . . . yet deep inside, I can see a bit of fear on my reaction. But, I'm too shocked and infurated to realise maybe I'm overdoing this a little . . . I should be killing her already!!!. If she knew about what was happening, why didn't she stop it!. If she knew that those events would occur why didn't she do something??. I mean so little to her?. Well, I'm gonna show her right now that you don't mess with me and just walk away. Grabbing her wrist in a dead grip, I use my body to put her over me and throw her with all the strengh I can onto the opposite wall. A general gasp is heard, but I don't even feel it. My mind is clouded in rage. All the suffering . . . the pain . . . the agony . . . could've been avoided?. Hot tears gather on my eyes, and my heart feels no guilt when she crashes on the wall with a loud THUMP!. I faintly hear her crying in pain . . . but it's as if it's far, far away. I'm about to ran to her side and hit her again when a couple of arms slide from under my arm pits and hold me still. "Ami-chan, control yourself!". The name . . . that name again . . . it's back to haunt me . . . I scream in animal rage, and flash a look of total hate to the one who's behind me. Haruka's light blue eyes tighten in fear when she sees what a mistake she made. "My name is NOT MIZUNO AMI!!!. Didn't you learn ANYTHING?". Setting both of my feet firmly on the floor, I jump upwards. With expert moves, I roll in the air, until our positions have shifted. Now, I'm the one who's holding her back, but this time, I do it with violence. She can't help it, and a cry of pain leaves her lips. I grab both of her hands, and harshly pull them together behind her back. Her chest is pushed into the air, and her mouth opens in suffering. I'm stretching her muscles to their best . . . I can't think . . . can't feel . . . can't breathe . . . only vengeance is my world, only hatred is my soul . . . they'll pay . . . all of them will pay . . . suddenly, I feel a soft wind on my back, and a light tap on my back. Just in the middle of my shoulder blades. And just as suddenly, every ounce of strengh leaves me. Only a second is enough for me to know what happened. A scent like the forest fills my nostrils . . . Hiroshi . . . he hit my paralyzing spots . . . as the nerves on my entire body stop working, my hands no longer have the iron fist I used to hurt Haruka . . . I can't help but to let her go. My arms fall to my sides, and I fall to the ground. Strong arms capture me before I land, and scoop me up. Through hazy eyes, I see Hiroshi's worried face. "Reiko, are you alright?". I can only nod . . . before hell erupts inside me. Years and years of pain, suffering an agony come all together in one mind blowing rush, and tears fell down my eyes. Sobs rake my body over and over again, and I only can hide my face in his chest. Oh God, how much I want to die . . . everything is so confusing . . . what's wrong with me?. I should've known better than to attack Setsuna like that. I cling onto Hiro-chan for dear life. I was actually willing to kill Haruka-san for a moment back then. . . what's going on inside my head?. Why can't I control myself?. The mind controller was removed long ago . . . why do I feel as if I'm not the one who owns this body?. My hands wrinkle his clothes, and my salty tears wet his shirt. I can feel his hand caresing my hair, soothing pain way from me . . . but not even he can draw away all this frustration I'm feeling. Why can't they understand?. I want to be who I am . . . not who they want . . . I'm Suiseki Reiko . . . Reiko . . . the Blue Thunder . . . the pride of the Agency . . . I . . . I don't know who I am anymore. Those titles are worthless now, with the agency long gone. Who am I then?. A road-less soul in a world of anger?. Someone who'll never fit anywhere?. Someone who would be better dead and forgotten?. Oh Mercury . . . help me . . . tell me what's my purpose in life . . . why did I became who I am right now?. What sin did I commit on my past life to deserve such a mess of a life?. I faintly hear Hiroshi talking: "I touched her strengh source. Now, she won't move for 15 minutes of so". I thank him innerly, knowing that if he hadn't stopped me, I would've done something I would've regretted for the rest of my days . . . why is life such a chaos?. I've seen as everyone lives a normal life everywhere . . . why does it seem I'm the only one who suffers?. People worry because they've got a flu . . . don't they think about people like me who're going through hell right now?. Hiro-chan craddles me inside his arms, and softly kisses the top of my head . . . poor Hiroshi . . . with my continued mood swings, I must be a total load for him . . . thank you, Mercury, for giving me such a wonderful partner . . . if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here right now . . . I would've given up long ago . . . Gently, he sits on the chair again, putting me over his lap. I refuse to look at anyone . . . the look of horror and fear would be too much to bear . . . I almost killed one of them . . . Usagi speaks softly, trying not to interrupt the uncomfortable silence that has spread over the room: "Setsuna-san, would you please tell us what happened?". A rustling sound reaches my ears. Someone must be sitting . . . probably Meiou-san. Her serious voice fills the air: "Of course my Princess. As I said before, everything that happened to Reiko-san was previously planned". A small smirk appears on my face as I hear her adressing me as 'Reiko-san' . . . must have hit more than her body . . . I probably injured her pride. , I tell myself. . I feel as Hiro-chan tightens his embrace around me. Perhaps he thinks I'll go on a frenzy again . . . no need to worry about that. I won't move for another 10 minutes. But I don't argue . . . there's nothing more relaxing than to feel his arms around me. "As you already know, parallel to our universe, there are other worlds and dimensions. On them, you also exist . . . with some subtle changes, of course. No person is the same, even if we talk about the Tsukino Usagi of three different worlds. Some differences are physical, others emotional . . . and the most rare yet more dangerous are the phsycological ones. For example, the Tenou Haruka of the timeline parallel to this one, is more stable, not as instinct-acting and . . . a boy. That's why in this dimension, she acts so tomboyish. And the same goes for each and everyone of you. Some years ago, as the Sailor Mercury of this era was born, another one, on another world, was already fighting as a Sailor Senshi. Those Senshi were more separated . . . the differences between the Outer and Inner were so deep, they didn't talk to each other. And that was one major cause of their downfall". Several gasps are heard. My own, I can barely supress it. Shifting slowly on Hiroshi's arms, I slowly look at Setsuna. Her magenta eyes are semi closed, as if she was debating with herself the fact that she's telling us this. Perhaps she's not suppoused to . . . well, as much as the timelines are altered, I don't give a damm!. I want to know why did I have to got through hell on this life. She continued, her voice getting more and more serious with each word: "Yes. They were killed. One by one, the Senshi dissapeared. Old jealousies and hates arouse, and the Inner fought the Outer. As incredible as it may sound, the elder were beaten. Uranus and Neptune were killed by Mars and Mercury. Venus took care of Saturn and my own version on that world. Jupiter died in the process, struck by Saturn's Silence Glaive. Usagi and Mamoru never got together again after the fight against the Dead Moon Family . . . something was really wrong in there". Only one though ran through my mind, over and over again. My ideal of happy worlds was being slowly shred into pieces. My other self had killed too?. *We*, with a Mercury as weak and brainy as Mizuno Ami was, had actually managed to defeat the Outer Senshi?. The ones who were *definitely* more powerful than we were?. As I shifted again on Hiroshi's lap, I felt my energies returning to me. Strengh was slowly entering my fainted limbs, filling my body with it's warmth and comfort. There's no worst frustration than to feel weak and defenseless . . . I know very well about *that*. Setsuna continued, not even watching the effect her words were having on us: "The remaining Senshi managed to defeat the Dead Moon Circus and the rest of the Death Busters . . . barely. After every fight, they would be exahusted . . . and the more time it passed, the more appart they became". "Soon, none of them reamined in contact. They only gathered when the Senshi were needed . . . and even then, they would only fight and then leave. Little by little, resentments appeared. Usagi-san, without the help of Mamoru-san, was falling into a depression which soon took control over her. The Guinzhuijou lost it's glow, and became just a piece of stone. And when they were finally confronted by Sailor Galaxia . . . well, there was no hope. All their star seeds taken, they died, leving behind the Chaos to rule the Universe. As the last Senshi was terminated, so did the world's only hope. Life was soon ended on that dimension, and it vanished into a black void of nothingness . . . Galaxia was consumed by the Chaos, and life was vanquished from the Universe, never to appear again . . .". As she stopped speaking, the gasps and surprised looks were so big, no one dared to speak. Was that a fate the world could've gone thorugh?. What twist in destiny changed our paths for good?. I look up to Hiro-chan, who's head is laying on my hair. He stares back into my eyes . . . silence means so much to us . . . in three seconds of complete quietness, we speak more than a thousand words. The fear . . . the relief . . . the surprise . . . so many emotions that shine through both of our eyes at the same time. That story makes me think . . . what's my life compared to that?. A whole Universe destroyed because a group of warriors couldn't wash their differences away?. It seemed so bizarre . . . but I knew better than to misjudge the Senshi of Time. Not for nothing she was the older, wiser and more misterious Senshi of all . . . she knew what she was talking about. I ask, my voice still quivering as my nerves get adjusted to their renewed strengh: "What's that got to do with me?". Through my link with the girls, I can almost 'think' their thoughts . . . 'how can she worry about such a thing?' . . . 'we've just been told about the destruction of the entire Galaxy, and she wonders what's it got to do with her?' . . . I try to block them away, but they just keep coming. Mental powers were never my forte . . . but how I wish I had them now!!. 'cold, cold as ice' . . . 'she doesn't even care about her own self' . . . 'I'm scared'. I grasp Hiroshi's hand, and his gentle squeeze reassures me. I can feel he's as interested as I am with this story. "You, Reiko, were the cause of the Universe's destruction". For some heart-beating moments, I don't get what she just said. Then, realisation strickes in. *I* was the cause?. *Me?*. Because of me it is that a complete dimension was anhilinated?. My eyes open wide in amazement. A gasp I hear behind me, and Hiroshi's hand leaves my own. My hand covers my mouth, to stop an intake of breath to leave my lips . . . Setsuna turns to face me, and says: "Yes. When I discovered this parallel dimension had dissapeared, I returned in time to search for the motive. And my discoveries were amazing". She waves her hand in the air, as if to make a circle. "You've heard the theory of the old Greeks, right?. That one that says a human life and soul is a circle of events. The summary of the experiences lived through its many lives. And that no matter how hard he tries, he'll always return to a certain point, where the circle will begin again. Well, that's exactly what's happening now. As I watched closely the events that ocurred before the disaster, I came to a shocking conclusion. The one known as Mizuni Sayaka on that world, or Suiseki Reiko here, was the reason of that cataclism". Mizuni Sayaka. Cute name, I think to myself, before snapping back to the story. "The exact spot when time continuence came to a halt stop, and diverted into total destruction, was the battle against Esmeraude. When that witch hypnotized you into believing everyone hated you, remember?. You were controlled by her power, yet your own emotions were the ones causing the illusions to appear. Your belief in your friends wasn't strong enough . . . and neither did your will power. Your physical endurance was so weak, your mind was easily controlled and taken over . . . and you didn't even built up a resistance. On this timeline, you never came into attacking your friends, right?. You were stopped by the memory of your friendship. On that world, you had nothing to cling onto. Your perception of reality was altered to such a point, on which your only wish was to destroy anything and everyone". "And you did". Her voice enters my ears, and reaches my brain. I actually attacked my friends?. With my power?. As the strange idea sinks in, she continues: "You said what you thought. On that state, you weren't controlling your mind, and your real feelings came into view. Harsh things were said . . . thins that weren't really felt, but remained on the minds of everyone. The fact that you couldn't shake of the control of the youma, gave a lethal blow onto the Senshi's main basis . . . friendship and team work. They never forgave you about that, although they never accepted it directly. Yet, the damage had been done. Ever since that day, they lost part of their trust in you. And when the confusion reached it's climax . . . that was the real cause of the Senshi Wars. The Inner fought with rage, wanting to destroy the union and frienship in between the Outers . . . something they had lost when Sayaka didn't remember them". "Since their hate was so big, they won. They never consciously knew they were fighting for jealousy, but deep inside they were hurting. As bizarre as it seems, Mercury took Neptune down with easyness, and very quickly. And so did Venus with Saturn and Mars with Uranus. Only when they saw Jupiter fall, did they fully understood what they had done. They had killed their friends, their helpers . . . they had killed themselves on some sort of way. And ever since that day, they started drifting appart. Each of them blamed the others for not stopping them when they could . . . as if they were totally innocent of the masacre. And so, things kept going on. I can't change the time flow of that dimension . . . it's not *my* dimension. The Pluto of that time was killed in the fight. I never wanted to see who had taken her down. . .". I just can't understand it!. Just because my belief in my friends wasn't strong enough, the Universe was destroyed?. On the back of my mind, I began to understand what had gotten Setsuna on doing such terrible things. "As I said before, things return to a certain point on which everything starts again . . . and it began to happen in here. I've watched each and everyone of you, ever since you were born. You were growing into strong, brave and powerful warriors . . . but I saw as you, Reiko, were developing the same characteristics that Sayaka had. You were almost equal to her, if not physically, at least emotionally. And that was what worried me. I traveled onto the future, two years ahead . . . and the story was repeating itself. The Outer were dead, and the Inner fought alone against Galaxia. I knew something had to be done . . . and I did it". "That day you left school, so many years ago, I was watching you. Knowing that what I had chosen for you was the correct thing, I led you onto the alley and into the arms of the agency. In there, you got the courage, the will power and the strengh needed to survive. You changed, no longer being like Mizuni Sayaka, but as the real Mercury Senshi should be. Strong, brave and trusting". Tears welled up in my eyes, as I finally understand . . . my destiny was to be the strengh of the Earth warriors, and I was the cause their destruction. My God . . . can it actually be true?. Me, Suiseki Reiko?. Through a whirlwind of thoughts and impressions, I faintly see as the other girls start leaving one by one. They're as shocked as I am . . . or maybe as scared as before . . . or even more. Yeah, I bet that's it. Now that they now I was the one who made them die, they'll hate me and fear me even more. To be continued . . . . So, that was chapter 3!!. From now on, chapters will be longer, because as far as it is going, this fic will end with about 30 parts!!.