Name: 'The Truth about Ami:Revelations', chapter 6. Author: Cony. E-mail: rubi@riemann.mat.puc.cl Rated: PG-13. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * As I jump through building and building, I can feel as the hard and tough outside cover I had been keeping up to then starts to clumber under the heavy weight of my emotions. I can feel a tingling sensation on my eyes, and I now what's coming next. I stop on top of a street sign, my feet holding me straight over it. I close my eyes, and let everything come out. No one is there to see me, and I need to control this. So many emotions . . . so many feelings . . . I'm tempted to just sit here all night long, letting the rush of the cars under me to soothe my pains away . . . but I know that's not an option. I need to find Hiroshi. I don't have time to rest. I brush my eyes quickly, trying to stop the tears from coming again. But I know I can't stop them. It's as if trying to freeze the sea . . . you just can't. So, I crouch again, and flash through the air, directed . . . where?. I don't know where, I just want to get out of here. Out of this chaos . . . out of this mess . . . if only Hiroshi was here with me . . . his strong arms, around my waist . . . his chin resting on my hair . . . my head nested on his neck . . . his thunderous heart beat lapping against my cheek . . . oh God, why did it have to happen now?. Now that we were so happy . . . why is it that everything turns wrong everytime I'm happy?. I choke back a sob, and brush my eyes. But, hot painful tears just keep spilling out. When I suddenly land, I realise where I am. Trees, a fountain . . . the Tokyo Central Park. I look around, and then just sit under a tree. As the grass brushes my skin, and the tree trunk supports my back, I sigh. To think that I sat on the same position just some weeks ago, pondering the idea of suicide . . . I just can't take it anymore. Hot tears trail down my cheeks, and painful sobs shake my body. I rest my face on my knees, drawn back and doubled over. Why?. Hiro-chan . . . come back. I won't be able to make it without you . . . if you're not here with me, how can I live?. How can I go on?. Hiroshi . . . Inoue Hiroshi . . . how deeply have you entered my heart?. Why do I have to love you so much?. It wouldn't hurt so much . . . stupid man . . . why did you leave?. Why didn't you tell me what was going on?. . I snap out of my mourning, and my head jumps upwards, checking on who spoke. But, to my total surprise, there's no one there. I'm alone . . . then who talked to me?. . Again. Who is she?. It's a female voice . . . very similar to my own . . . I then understand . . . "Ami", I whisper softly. . I nod slowly, not even caring anymore. At least, I will be able to talk to someone . . . and Ami-chan is the one who knows literally everything about me . . . what the heck, she IS me!. I close my eyes, and draw to my insides. Right down to my soul. There, woven deep into the strands of my life force, a presence . . . someone . . . Ami-chan . . . "Come out", I whisper. Then, that spirit living inside of me shines brighter and brighter, enveloping my body . . . surrounding me completely. For a moment, I feel as a warm hand is pressed against my heart, and I know it's her. More tears gather inside my eyes. I've been so harsh to her . . never letting her even speak . . . I hear her voice again, but this time, much nearer: "It's ok. I understand". I open my eyes, and through a blur of tears, I can see a face. My own face . . . Ami's face. I blink several times, clearing my view. As I am able to look at her again, I wonder if I'm not looking into a mirror. There, crouching right by me, is Mizuno Ami. The sick girl I met at the hospital so long ago . . . the same face, the same eyes . . . even the same hair . . . we're the same . . . we look as if we were the same person. The one thing that made us different is gone now. My hair . . . my long hair was the only thing that could tell who was who . . . yet now, both of our hairs are the same length . . . even the same color. For the first time, I notice what's wrong with her. She's still a spirit, and her 'body' is entirely blue. A builsh tint seems to dye her whole figure . . . just a ghost would look like. She looks as a faint fairy, shinning on her own blue light. Blue has always been a part of me, and now it has even set itself on my soul. "It's ok. I've always liked blue anyway". I try to smile, yet my lips refuse to move. She seems to feel my troubling . . . how couldn't she?. We're one now. She sits on her knees in front of me, and places a warm hand on my shoulder. How can I feel her?, I ask myself. If she's a spirit, only a ghost, I shouldn't be able to feel her. She sould be as the air . . . just a mist . . . then, the answer places itself on my brain. We're still linked . . . her body is like my own. She doesn't have a physical body . . . she's only alive because our souls have merged . . . ever since that day, at the hospital . . . we share the same body, we are the same mind . . . yet I'm the one in control most of the time. She's more like a shadow . . . a silent advisor . . . she's just . . . there. Inside of me. Part of me. We sometimes talk, and then is when she can come ut of my heart. I can lock her in, or let her out. As I look at her, I wonder why did she choose this alternative. She isn't really alive . . . she's in between worlds . . . not dead, yet not alive either . . . but how much has she helped me. Everytime I'm feeling troubled, I can draw onto her, and she will help me. She's been the kind and gentle one to calm me when I'm histerical . . . she's more than a friend . . . she's like an older sister. I try to supress the trembling of my lower lip, as I remember all the times I've been a real b*tch to her . . . everytime she has tried to calm me, I've always snapped at her . . . sent her back onto my mind . . . and yet she never seems to get angry. "It's because I know how you feel". Surprised, I look at her. Her eyes are set onto mine, and to my shock, I can see crystal tears on them. Spirits shouldn't be able to cry . . . yet she is. As tears fall down her bluish cheeks, I realise she can read my mind. We're linked . . . she's me . . . she feels what I do . . . she thinks what I think . . . oh, Ami-chan!. I just launch myself into her arms, and cling onto her clothes, as heart-braking sobs rake my whole chest. "Ami-chan . . . why?. Tell me why did this have to happen?". She strokes my hair softly, letting me weep in silence. "You know there's no answer to that, Reiko-chan". When I feel her arms around me, I sense d骠 vu again . . . in some strange sort of way, her arms are so much like my Hiro-chan's . . . Relaxing, comforting, safe . . . even if she's no longer on the world of the living. I just cry my soul out, letting everything out. She just holds me tight, as if she really was my big sister . . . how right does this feel . . . as if we truly were sisters . . . Ami-chan . . . if I am ever reborn again, I am sure we would be sisters indeed . . . a connection as right as the one we have, isn't found easily. She heals my wounds, which are much more painful than just physical. As if queue, my legs starts aching. I wince and yelp loudly, when the injure I made to myself while at Nomuto's starts aching and bleeding again. More pain is added to my suffering. I look down at it, and remember the sharp edge of those daggers . . . it cut through my jeans and my skin as if they were butter . . . Ami feels it too, and stares at it for some instants. Red staining my clothes, as it leaks from the cut. She says, tender and even motherly sounding: "Reiko-chan, I may not be able to heal your heart, yet this I can". She then places a soft hand over my injure, and closes her eyes. I still don't care on what she's doing, but when I feel a comforting warmth emanating from her fingertips, I look at her palm. For some instants, I feel a ticklish sensation over the wound, and then all is gone. Her hand leaves my skin, and I gasp in surprise when I see there's no trace of any injure at all. The skin is as soft and smooth as before. I look at her questioningly. "I am part of you, remember?. Being a piece of your soul gives me power to heal minor injures such as that one. I only used your own powers to heal it. You're the Mercury Senshi after all". We stay therem in silence. Sometimes, silence can mean a thousand words. Hiro-chan used to tell me that . . . I remember as we used to do sometimes, when the busy schedule of a psy left us some leisure time. We would go some roof top,on some of the highest buildings in Tokyo, and sit there. Just sit. We wouldn't speak. Those were the times when I knew there was that tangible something between us. Normally, by being together with someone, and not talking or making any noise at all, can be very upsetting, to say the least. Yet, with him, I could stay for hours and hours. Quiet. Not saying anything. Just . . . relaxing into the warmth of his presence. As I sit here now, staring at Ami-chan, I realise something. I must be the one and only person around the world that has three souls mixed inside her body. I grin sadly. The spy, Suiseki Reiko. The spirit, Mizuno Ami. And the fighter, Sailor Mercury. Three souls. Three beings. And only one words to describe it. Chaos. Just chaos. It seems as if someone was bored, and decided to have a good time, using me as his toy. I mean, all this stuff can't be just coincidence, right?. Three different sets of memories. Past. Present. The Silver Millenium. Ami-chan's life. My own life. How have I been able to handle this?. I sigh loudly again, as more and more weight is added to my heart. I'm about to speak to her again, when some rustling ion some nearby bushes makes my head snap up. Ami seems scared, and cringes behind me. Her already faint tint fades even more, and she now looks almost white. Her aura trembles and she tries to hide it. Yet, we're one, and I can feel her fear inside of me too. "What's that Reiko-chan?". I scan the plants, with narrowed eyes. "I still don't know, Ami, but you'd better return inside. We will continue this later". Again, the Blue Thunder is present, obnubilating me, and Ami. She nods slowly, and starts fading off. Before dissappearing completely, she whispers: "Reiko, just remember we can talk anytime, ok?". I nod, pain and tears forgotten. My eyes are fixed on the bushes, which now seem as quiet and unmobile as ever. But, to me, they're the source of danger. Behind those bushes, anything can be hiding. From a hentai stalker, to a small cricket. Yet, I can feel something looking at me. I can feel it's eyes drilling onto mine . . . yet who is 'it'?. I then see a flash of pale yellow, and begin to form a shape in my mind. Light blonde hair . . . a faint scent reaches my nostrils . . . the wind is blowing in my direction, and I smell . . . the sea?. Yes, there it is. Unmistakeable. Salty breeze . . . wind and sea . . . I smirk to myself. So, they followed me after all. I sit back onto the tree, and can almost hear them sigh in relief. I wait just a few moments before closing my eyes, and relaxing back onto the trunk. When I can take it no longer, I say: "You can come out now. I already saw you, Haruka-san. And you too, Michiru-san". Two intakes of breath are heard, and I sadly grin. I hear more rustling on the bushes, and when I open my eyes again, I see them standing there, a look of such surprise on their usually straight faces . . . "How did you know it was us?". I lightly touch my noise with my index finger, and answer: "Smelt you". They both blush in embarrasment. "How long have you been there?". Michiru-san recovers her lost seriousness, and says: "Long enough to have a lot of questions". I sigh. I thought they had just arrived . . . I had silently hoped the hadn't seen Ami-chan . . . but I was wrong. I hear a voice inside my head: . I answer Ami: "I think you're right". I motion for the couple to come where I am, and to sit by my side. They nod, and walk up to where I'm laying. They sit, closely together, which only makes me remember Hiro-chan again. But, I supress the feelings of sadness, and say: "Shoot". Haruka speaks first. "Reiko-chan . . . who was that girl?. The one with the blue aura around her?". I look down to the floor, pondering if I really want them to know . . . and I then remember my promise. 'No more secrets', I said. No more lies. The truth. I'm going to tell them, and they will know why is it that Mizuno Ami and Suiseki Reiko became one . . . * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Three years before. As I sit on a cornice, my feet falling limp on the edge of the emptyness, I ask myself what am I going to do. Shall I go back to the agency?. But, even at the mentioning of this alternative, my instinct yells at me not to take it. There's something too suspicious about that last mission they sent me in . . . where Hiroshi died. Where I lost him forever. Before my thoughts can go onto the 'dark side', I shut that door, and stop that train of thinking. As I hear the cars passing by, I still don't know what to do. Start a new life?. Where?. With whom?. I'm suppousedly dead in this world . . . shall I go back to my parents?. They would propably think it's a prank or something . . . but how I wish to see them . . . now that I'm alone again, my mind and my heart only want to feel comfort and peace again, and it seems only my family is able to give it to me. Yet, the agency knows this as well. And the first place they would look for me, is at my parent's house. And the one thing I don't want, is to put them in danger. They must have gotten over my 'death' . . . what's the point in causing more pain?. But, what other choice do I have?. To just stay there, in the limbo of two worlds, not belonging to either of them?. I've seen far to much to return to a 'normal life'. And I know that if go back into the agency's hands, I will never be able to leave it again. All I ever wanted was freedom . . . and now that I have it, I don't know what to do with it. Weird, don't you think?. Yet, that's me. I close my eyes, and breathe deeply, trying to clear my mind from everything. As I let myself slip from the real world, I start remebering Hiroshi. His bangs, loosely caressing his face . . . his eyes, so deep and full of emotions . . . his hair, delicious to ran your hands through . . . his lips, soft and tender over mine . . . I groan loudly, as I again begin to sadden. What's the point on mourning over him?. He's gone, and no matter how sad I am, he just won't come back. I suddenly gasp in amazement, as I realise what I just said. My God . . . I never thought the agency's training had struck so deep inside of me . . . I'm beginning to act as the Blue Thunder again . . . cold and heartless . . . yet she's dead. Buried two feet under the earth. Blue Thunder died at the same time Hiroshi did. I shouldn't be acting as a spy anymore . . . I can rely on my emotions again. What is it that I feel stronger now?. Love?. Sadness?. Frustration?. A little bit of all of them. The newly discovered love, lost with just a whisp of breeze. Why is it that Hiroshi was so dumb?. He knew I loved him . . . why did he leave me?. Why did he have be so 'macho', and play the knight in shinning armor?. I could've saved him . . . together, we could've defeated those stupid thugs, and kept on living like we used to. But no, he just had to sacrifice himself . . . a nonsense if you ask me. I was perfectly capable of defending myself . . . yet he never thought about my opinion. He took the decision for me, and just drugged me into unconsciousness. Men!. Hmph!. Who am I trying to deceive anyway?. I'm just denying what's abvious. I'm still hurting from his death . . . it's still a fresh wound to start recalling it. For over two months now, I've been living on my own. With money I made from been a waitress in a low-class restaurant, where the tips went up according on how high my skirt was, I've managed to survive. Yet, I know I won't be like this forever. I need action, and I'm certainly not getting it in this type of life. I must know what happened, so I can put my demons to rest again. Every night, before going to sleep, I lay there on my bed, staring off into space, and wondering whatever happened to me on those days I was missing. Where was I?. A sudden screech of failing breaks echoes through the air. I turn my head to look at it, and as I do, flashing pain spread through my body. No matter how many times I go through this, I never get used to it. It's as if my neck was on fire, trying to separate itself from the rest of my body. Unconsciously, I try to grab it, yet I stop myself just in time. Just a small brush over it, and pain will intensify a thousand fold. So, I just stay there, my hands as fists by my sides, my face twisted in suffering, and my whole body screaming . . . and then it's gone. I pant and gasp for breath, as it seems every bit of air was driven away from my lungs. This strange attacks . . . what's wrong with my neck?. Everytime I turn my head too suddenly, it hurts. Can it have something to do with my dissappearence?. Then, it hits me. The hospital!. They must have some record on me . . . how they found me . . . who brought me there . . . they may even know what happened to me on those days!. With renewed hope, and the torture I just went through almost forgotten, I stand up, and head towards the hospital. From roof to roof I jump, a blur of colours and speed . . . I slow down some meters before reaching it. Almost boiling with impatience, I stop. I dust my clothes, and fix my hair, trying to look as normal as possible. When I'm sure everything's in place, I open the door, and enter. As I climb down the stairs, nerves start getting on me . . . what if someone recognizes me?. As the girl who miraclously awakened?. But, my doubts are soon washed away, as I leave the emergency stairs, and enter the hallways. People are too embedded on themselves to pay attention to me . . . I pass unnoticed. No one looks at me . . . as if I'm not even there. I go down, to the seventh floor, where *I* was. Where I awoke after those missing days, where God knows whre I was. As I start getting nearer and nearer to my ex-room, I can hear someone speaking: "Yes, it's very difficult, but we can do it. With the proper x-ray examination, we will be able to locate the source of the tumour". Curiosity kicks in. What's wrong with peeking inside?. I've always had this 'doctor-syndrom'. Id like to learn more about it, and what better moment than the present?. I carefully walk to the door next to me, where I know the voice came from. I cautiously push the semi closed door further open, until I have a perfect view of the inside. I slowly look inside, making sure my head is hidden by the shadows. . And what I see, makes my heart freeze. There, on the bed, covered with bandages and serums, is Hikaru. My childhood friend . . . my best friend . . . the one I saw the last before becoming the Blue Thunder. Hika-chan . . . what's happened to you?. Why are you in here?. A quick look around the room tells me everything I need to know. The teary faces of her parents, standing by her side. The seriousness of the doctor who is still speaking even if his words don't make much sense to me anymore . . . the pain on Hikaru's face . . . how much I long to enter the room and craddle you I my arms . . . I choke back a sob, when I hear the doctor's last statement: "We're not sure if this procedure will work. Hikaru-san, I'm sorry, but I can't tell you if you'll live through it". Hika-chan, no!. You can't die. Not yet. Again, I fight my sobbing back, but I do it too loudly. Hikaru turns her eyes towards the door . . . for a split second, I hope she hasn't seen me . . . yet her eyes widen in shock, and her mouth falls open . . . She points a shaky finger to me, while trying to speak. Her mom runs to her side: "What is it?. What's wrong?". I'm paralyzed . . . Oh God!. I just made the worst mistake I could!. I let her see me . . . now she knows I'm alive . . . Hika-chan, no!. Don't say it, please don't say it!. "Reiko-chan . . .". Her whisper is full of surprise, betrayal and hurt. I can't stand it. Not even looking at her again, I turn around, and run. Even if I can't see her anymore, I can still hear her voice: "Reiko-chan . . . that was Reiko!. Let me go!". I hear muffled sounds of rustling sheets, as her parents try to calm her down. Hika-chan . . . why?. What happened to you?. You were so healthy back then . . . you were never sick . . . not even a cold . . . and now, some mutant cells are slowly driving you to death?. I run, as fast as I can, trying to blink the tears away, yet they keep coming. I hear steps and running behind me. They're after me!. How am I going to explain what happened?. I need to get out!. Need to escape!. Exit . . . exit . . . emergency exit . . . where the hell is the freakin' emergency exit?. I pant and wheeze, trying to get more air into my lungs . . . to no avail at all. "Stop!. Someone stop that girl!". That phrase echoes inside my ears, and only serves to give my legs a faster pace. As I turn around in a corner, I see my escape . . . a door!. Without even checking what it says, I turn the doorknob, swiftly enter the room, and close it behind me. I push myself against the door, praying to the lords they didn't see me . . . please, make them go away . . . please, please. They didn't see me, they didn't, they didn't. Steps are getting nearer, nearer . . . please, please, go away!. No more ghosts . . . no more pain . . . I shut my eyes tightly, my hands becoming fists, as I pray over and over again that they don't enter here . . . Closer. Closer. The steps are getting closer. Please, no!. They suddenly stop. Right---in front---of---the door . . . only a light frame of wood separates us now. I hold my breath unconsciously, fear gripping my heart. . As the words repeat themselves on my head over and over again, I wonder if they can hear me. My heart is beating thunderously, and my breathing is too loud . . . I can hear their voices: "She can't be too far away". "Perhaps she entered here". NO!!. My skin freezes, and my heart stops it's beating. For a split second, I watch in utter horror as the doorknob slowly begins to turn . . . no . . . please . . . more and more . . . turning and turning . . . almost a full circle . . . "She can't. She probably went this way". I can't believe my ears. The knob stops turning, and the door returns to be sealed shut. I sigh in relief, as I hear their steps going away. God!. That was a close call. I feel on cloud nine, now that I'm safe again. I couldn't have explained my presence in here . . . thank God they didn't get me!. As I start to slide down the door, every nerve on my body turned off, I hear another voice: "Who were they?". My eyes snap open and stare in front of me. I hadn't realised there was someone else in this room with me. I inmediatly start apologising: "I'm sorry, I didn't see you, I'll be gone now. Sorry for distur---". My mouth stops moving, and my jaw falls down, as I see to whom I'm speaking. There, sitting upright on a bed . . . that's me!. My eyes widen, and I mutter incomprehensible things under my breath. "I . . . I . . .". The girl in front of me seems as shocked as I am. The hair, the eyes, the face . . . even the skin color . . . everything's the same!. It's a if I was staring into a mirror. That's me, sitting on that bed!. "Who . . . who are you?", I ask, not sure if I want to know the answer. "My name is Mizuno Ami", answers the girl, with a voice so similar to mine . . . it's as if we were the same person. The only difference I can see in between us is my long hair . . . her's is short, down to her shoulders. Yet, everything else . . . I walk a few hesitant steps up to her, as is fearing she will dissapear. "You're . . . you're real, right?". She grins sadly, and says: "Yeah. But not for long. I'm about to die, you know?". My insensitive fa硤e crumbles down quickly. How can I distrust my own self?. "But . . . you look perfectly fine to me", I say, still trying to come to terms with what I'm saying. Again, she nods sadly, and whispers: "Yes. But on my insides, my heart is giving out already". I sit slowly by her side, staring at her so intently, I must look like a dumb. She seems to be taking this fairly well . . . why am I the one who's acting so shocked?. Well, it's not as if everyday I find someone who's my exact copy, ya' know?. I look at her hands . . . thin and soft, as mine . . . the line of her jaw, strong and challenging . . . her hair, carefully perched behind her ears . . . the same bluish-black curls . . . her nose, pointed and small . . . that's me!. How else can I say what's so evident?. She lets me look at her throughfully, not moving a muscle. When she feels I'm done, she smiles again: "I'm real. Touch me if you don't believe what you see". I hesitantly raise my hand, and softly place it over her own, which layes on the white sheets of the bed. The moment I do, I feel as if an electric current had just ran through me. An electric bolt . . . that's the best way to describe it. She feels it too, and stiffens in surprise. I draw back my hand, scared and still trembling. What I felt . . . what was it?. A connection . . . a link . . . what's wrong with me?. Why do I feel as if I knew her?. Should I know her?. For the first time since I entered, she looks at me as surprised as I do. Her blue eyes drill onto mine, and scan me up and down, searching for an explanation which just isn't there. "Did you feel that?", she asks, afraid of raising her tone too much. I nod slowly, holding my hand on the other one, as if fearing something will happen to it. "It was as if . . . I knew you", she whispers, looking at me straight. "Who are you?". I find my voice again: "I'm Suiseki Reiko". "Reiko . . . that's a beautiful name". I smile at her, trying to reassure her and myself. "Ami isn't bad at all". We both smile at each other. "Reiko, would you mind staying with me for a while?. I think the end is not too far away, and I'm scared to face it alone". I'm about to reply I can't, but just a look at her eyes turns my descision around. I can't leave her alone . . . it would be as if betraying myself. So, I nod slowly, and move the chair closer. She layes back on the pillows, letting her tired body rest. For some instants, we both stay silent. What can we say on a situation like this?. She stares off through the semi closed window, and speaks softly: "How much I miss the sun on my skin . . .". Her tone is so sad and melancholic, I can't help but feel sad myself. "What's wrong?, if you don't mind my asking". She looks at me again, her eyes full of tears and sorrow. "Not at all. It's good to have someone to talk to. If you really want to know, well . . . no one knows what's wrong with me. The doctors say it's cancer, or even leuchemia . . . yet my cells are perfectly fine. The symptoms are just tire, the loose of weight and sets of pain and coughing that come and go". I am taken back. What strange disease can she have?. She looks perfectly normal to me . . . a bit skinny, but . . . she suddenly stiffens, and a muffled gasp leaves her lips. Her hand flies to her chest, and grabs the cloth, wrinkling it with the effort. I jump, and I'm by her side in a second. "What's wrong?", I ask, fearing the worst. "It's back", she manages to say, before collapsing into my arms as another fit of pain strikes. The instant she touched me, I felt that surge of . . . power again. My body is filled with strange feelings . . . as if static was running through my veins instead of blood. I handle the weird sensations as best as I can, and focus on helping her in any way I can. Yet, the longer I hold her, the more I feel as if something is been set into my heart. It's not evil, not an enemy . . . my body even welcomes it, as if it always formed part of it. "Reiko", Ami gasps, "this is it". I panic. No, Ami!. Don't go!. Not know that I've just found you!. I don't know why, but I feel at home with you . . . please, stay!. Ami!. "Ami-chan, come on, hold on!". She smiles through gritted teeth, and mutters: "It's here. Can you feel it?". She places her hand over my heart. When she does, I feel as a wam feeling spreads through my body . . . love . . . fraternal love . . . I hold her hand tightly, and only then do I notice she's slowly fading away. I can already look through her . . . the sheets are noticeable through her body . . . "Ami, what's going on?", I ask, afraid yet determined not to leave her. "I don't know", she says. Now, only a faint outline is seeable . . . my hands only craddle air, as she is about to vanish. "Ami . . . I'm scared", I say. And it's true. Of all the weird things I saw at the agency, no one even came close to this . . . what's going on?. She gasps one more time, before looking up at me with her eyes, which are now just a blur of colors: "Me too . . .". And then, she's gone. All of a sudden, I'm staring into an empty bed. Rustled sheets are the only thing that tell me this wasn't a dream. My cupped arms, which still try to hold onto her are the other tell-tale sign that it was real. I spin around the room, in vain searching for her. "Ami . . . ", I hesitantly ask into the air, as if she could hear me. And suddenly, I hear her: . I freeze. Where did that voice come from?. A whisper inside my ear . . . I look around, yet no one's near. I'm alone in this room . . . . Again. My eyes widen. "Inside of me?. Ami?". . As she speaks, I again feel that warmth enveloping me . . . coming from the very depths of my soul. "How . . . why . . . who--?". Words are stuck in my throat, as I feel a presence inside of me. There . . . beating with it's own faint life force . . . Ami . . . she speaks again, this time, louder and clearer: . I bring a hand up to my heart, just where she touched me before. Her voice reaches me again: . I let them take me. Shock. Confusion. Safeness. Strengh. A friend. "Yes", I softly whisper. This is just too chaotic . . . I need to rest for a while. , comes the reply. I again stop dead in my tracks. "How did you do that?". I can feel her smiling. . Dizzyness grabs hold of me . . . I need to sleep . . . . "Stop that!", I tell her, tired of her answering my every thought. . She's right. I lay on the bed, letting my tiring finally get down on me. For over two months now, I've been struggling against it . . . and now, for the first time in ages, I can finally rest. I close my eyes, and picture as Ami does the same. She feels good in there . . . as if I was constantly protected. As if I am no longer alone. I have a big sister now . . . Ami-chan. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * As I finish talking, my eyes fall upon Michiru and Haruka. Their eyes are wide open, and their jaws are just one bit from falling down. "You . . . you mean she's inside you right now?". I nod slowly, a sad smile appearing on my lips. "Yes". We stay silent for long minutes, neither of us knowing what to say. I just stare at the sky . . . the midnight sky, shinning with its million stars above . . . I search for Mercury, trying to find it in the huge amount of shinning dots over me . . . lost in my own thoughts, I only awaken when Michiru-san's hand is placed on my shoulder: "Reiko-chan, I want you to know something . . . we've never been the closest of friends, but . . . I would like you to know you can trust us on anything". Surprised, I look at Haruka-san, which only nods in assentment. I smile, and whisper: "Thank you". . Ami's voice rings through my head, and makes me grin again. I answer quickly: "I admit it. You were right". But, Michiru still ahs a question to ask me. "Reiko-chan, how was it that you managed to deceive Ami's own family?". I smile at her, and answer: "Well it was fairly easy. When I woke up after that nap, the first thing we did, was come to terms with this new . . . situation. Ami had been scanning my memories while I slept, and knew everything about me. And so, we found out that we could make a deal that would beneficiate both of us. I would play Ami's role, with her help of course.And at the same time, I would gain what I was craving . . . a place to stay, where I was loved and wanted. With Ami's advises, I cut my hair. That way, I ended up looking just like her. No one could tell the difference, except for my healthier appearence . . . but that didn't motice Ami's mom. When she found us, well . . . you can guess what happened. And so, ever since that day, I've been living as Mizuno Ami. With her constantly telling me what to do, and when, I've made everyone believe I am really her. Now you know of me as much as I do". Haruka tries to cheer the mood up, by saying: "In that case, this is Setsuna's department, not ours". Her words light a bulb inside my mind. Of course!. Why didn't I see it before?. If I want to know what happened, what better way is there than to go and check Hiro-chan's appartment?. Haruka-san seems to see my idea, and says: "Shall we leave you alone, Reiko-chan?". I look at her, my eyes surprised yet thankful. So many feelings that I can't express into words . . . I nod slowly, not daring to raise my voice. They both stand up, and while Michiru dusts her clothes, she says: "Reiko-chan, I . . . well, I . . . I wanted to tell you you can always count on me". I look at her, my eyes unreadable. Is she sure about what she's saying?. Does she reallytrust me?. I stare long and deep into her eyes, trying to read her soul. This has become a bad habit to me, yet I can't shake it off . . . as I read in between the several shades of green . . . I can see something. Fear. Deep down inside, she's scared. I'm about to sigh in defeat, when another thing surfaces. Determination. I'm taken back. What's this?. How can Michiru-san be feeling this?. She's afraid, yet . . . what's she so determined about?. I can't speak, as she steals the words from my lips: "I . . . I understand how you're feeling. And so does Ruka-chan. We . . . we felt rejected too, back on the Death Busters Era. You remember how cold and cruel we used to be?. Well, that was just on the outside. Everynight, we would cry ourselves to sleep . . . only each other's company was able to pull us through . . . and now that your lover has been taken away . . . Reiko-chan, I just want you to know I feel very connected to you. I . . . if you ever need any advice or comfort, don't think it twice. I'll be expecting you". And then, as quick as they came, they both leave, dissappearing in the mists of the night. I only sit there, dumbfounded. Michiru?. Kaiou Michiru?. I had never ever seen her so open before . . . but her words spread warmth inside my broken heart, soothing it down a little. At least, I haven't lost *all* of my friends. The Outer Senshi seem to be more comprehensive than the Inner . . . perhaps we have both faced similar problems, and lived through the same hells. A silent tear escapes my eye, and falls down my cheek. Thank you, Michiru-san. I'm very grateful, Haruka-san. Now, I know I'm not alone. You are still here with me, and that gives me the energy I need to keep on going. I stand up, and brush my hair out of my face. Not nearly as long as it used to be, but it's still getting longer by the day. Soon, it'll be the same length it was back on the agency's days . . . and Suiseki Reiko will *be* again. As much as Ami likes this haircut, I need some freedom too. I look up above the stars, and whisper a silent prayer: "Please, let it be alright. Let *him* be alright . . .". To be continued . . . . Author notes: Chapter 6, done, mon capitain!. After a lot of scrubbing and brain squeezing, I managed to ger this through for this week. It sure was hard. Writer's block is like a shadows lurking behind every corner to catch me in its awful grasp . . . but with the help of Agnes-chan, I managed to defeat it!!!. HA,HA,HA,HA,HA!!. Now you see, Mr. I-can-make-you-write-no-more- whenever-I-want-to!!. I defeated you!!!!!!. Ahem, back to our regular schedule. So, that was the secret hidden inside Reiko. She *did* have another soul inside of her . . . Ami did exist after all. Why'. Well, she just seemed so sweet and caring to me, I just couldn't make her dissappear like that!. So I inserted her inside Reiko's body . . . now I have to know a way to pull this thing off!. oh, boy!. Many people have written to me, telling me how was it that Reiko did pull this play off . . . well here it is. The explanation of how it went. I hope I made it clear, I'm not very sure. If you want even more remembering, just mail me , and I'll add it somewhere. Maybe you want to know how they felt when they discovered they were Mercury . . . or how they faced the many battles that the Senshi have fought . . . Disclaimer: SM belongs to Naoko Takeuchi. She's rich. She's smart. She can draw. and I *mean* draw. She's neat. I praise her. I'm a 16 year old teenager . No money. No job. Can't draw. *Really* can't draw. So, I couldn't be her, right?. So, I'm just using her characters for a while!.