Title: The Fanfic Formerly Known As.... Part 32 Author: Dark Day For Anime (Mark A Page) Email: ayanami@merlin.net.au ICQ: 9845111 IRC: DDFA on DALnet & Austnet #AJAS's Fic Rating: Is that a UFO in your pocket, or are you just pleased to abduct me? -------------------------------------------------------------------- THE GREAT GOV.AU BLOCKADE 1999 READ ALL ABOUT IT!!! http://www.cmetech.com.au/minister_for_ignorance_technology.html -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Fanfic Formerly Known As.... by DDFA (Now having replaced Minako after escaping his bonds) Part Thirtytwo - The Scumbag -------------------------------------------------------------------- ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ -------------------------------------------------------------------- Scene: DDFA's hovel. Having reclaimed his seat from a disappointed Minako, he gets down to reading some of the mail that has arrived, and is surprised to find one from his spurned lover.... From: Chris Davies To: Mark Page Subject: Re: [FFML] [FF][Spoof][St.Luminous] The Girls I have, scumbag. Chris Davies. DDFA shakes his head, wondering if he answers everyone this way when he asks them if they've heard of St Luminous Mission High School. Of course, Crispy is still bitter about the time DDFA left him by the park bench, having told him that he was in love with someone else, and never wanted to see him again. Crispy has been having a hard time dealing with this, just KNOWING that, under that rotund, grizzled exterior, DDFA has to give a DAMN about him. And so, he goes on, reminding DDFA of their brief fling on the beach in Hawaii.... Ahem. So, DDFA decides to bring in the entire cast of WfM, and they give him a rousing cheer for, once more, getting a rise out of Crispy.... One, two, three.... All: DDFA'S A SCUMBAG! Clapclap clapclap clap. All: DDFA'S A SCUMBAG! Clapclap clapclap clap. All: DDFA'S A SCUMBAG! Clapclap clapclap clap. All: DDFA'S A SCUMBAG! Clapclap clapclap clap. DDFA pauses, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. DDFA: Why, thankyou, everyone. You're so kind to me. Minako: We just wanted you to know how we all REALLY feel about you. DDFA: That's so touching. I'll remember this for a long time. Koenma: Och, that be what we're afraid of, laddie. DDFA: Thankyou. Now, get back to your positions, or I'll have you killed in a brutal, painful and mildly humourous manner. All: YES SIR! The cast quickly disappears as DDFA sinks lower in his seat, wondering if he should ask Crispy for the gold ring back, knowing that Crispy's reply would be something along the lines of "You know where you can insert the ring". Meanwhile, in Hades, Usagi is pointing to a security monitor in the corner of the records office as Koenma stamps a couple of times on ChuChu for trying to eat his hat. Usagi: Ano.... Koenma: What be the problem, there, lassie? ChuChu: Chuuuuu.... Chuuuu.... Usagi: There are a couple of girls in skimpy outfits, emasculating the tentacle demon you have at your front desk. Koenma: Good thing, too. ChuChu: Chuuuu.... Chuchuchuuuu.... Usagi: Is it? Usagi thinks it over. Usagi: Come to think of it, yeah, it probably is a good thing. Still, that just HAS to hurt. Koenma: It's been a load o' pants ever since we hired that yon beastie t'cover the front desk. ChuChu: Chuuuuuuuuuu...... Usagi: A load of what? Koenma: PANTS, lassie. PANTS! Tha' stupid bastard goes an' ravages all th' good-lookin' girls we get in 'ere. Ah mean, th' atmospherics o' this place 'as jus' gone down, I tell ye. Usagi: Well, he won't be.... ravaging.... any good looking girls from now on. Koenma: Och, don't you go bettin' on it, lassie. he'll be growin' new ones in a wee bit o' time. Usagi: Remind me not to be in the building when he does. Meanwhile, in Koenma's office, Shishio, Yumi, Usui and Hoji are lying in a pile, on top of the desk. Standing atop them all is Mokona, who lights a cigarette, smiling evilly. Mokona: Aku Soku Puuuuuuu! >:D Back in the records office, Usagi, Koenma-sama and ChuChu are staring at the security monitor, grimly, watching as the two girls in skimpy outfits wreak havoc in the front office Usagi: Hmmm.... Koenma: Hmmm.... ChuChu: Chuu.... Usagi: Hmmm.... Koenma: Hmmm.... ChuChu: Chuu.... Usagi: Hmmm.... Koenma: Hmmm.... ChuChu: Chuu.... Usagi: .... Koenma: .... ChuChu: .... Usagi: Well? Koenma: Well what? ChuChu: Chuu.... Usagi: What are you going to do about them? Koenma: Ah, Ah was waitin' fer you t' ask. ChuChu: Chuu.... Koenma-sama strikes a dramatic pose. Koenma: This looks lahk a job fer.... HELL'S BELLES! Insert Thunderbirds theme here as the walls of the records office retract, exposing the office's true nature.... A huge hangar vault, filled with hundreds of mecha of varying shapes and sizes. From doorways in the walls of the hangar, hundreds of super-kawaii girls from every rpg game imaginable emerge, all wearing pilot suits of varying colours and descriptions. Usagi's jaw drops as the girls stand in front of each and every mecha, saluting Koenma-sama. Girls: HAIL KOENMA-SAMA! Koenma gets up on ChuChu's desk, gesticulating with his hands. Koenma: Mah fearless lassies, the front office is being attacked by yon heartless harridans of the highest order. It is time for you ta show me your true skills, and defeat this menace that dares ta threaten tha very heart of Hades! Yoko: Does that mean we have to use our robots? Koenma: Uhhh.... Yes. Suzume: But I might scratch my mecha-chan. Kimiko: 'Heartless harridans' sounds so scary. Yuko: I might break out into a sweat. Suzume: I spent all night polishing my mecha-chan. Rika: I don't need my mecha to beat these bitches into smithereens! Arisu: Rika-chan, KOWAI! Rika: Aha... Ahahahahahaha.... Koenma-sama sweatdrops. Koenma: Look, will yon lassies PLEASE beat tha livin' crap outta these two. Ah mean, they threaten yon source of sugar... Tha life source of all kawaii girls. The girls all smile. standing to attention. Girls: HAAIIIII!!!!! ^_^ The girls start leaping about, giggling, as they get into their respective mechas. Koenma, Usagi and ChuChu put up their hands to shield their faces from the blasts of the mechas' rockets as they fly up and through a chute in the roof. When the last has disappeared, Koenma-sama crosses his arms and puts on a dark expression. Koenma: This is not good. Usagi: What is? ChuChu: Chuuu. Chu chu chu. Koenma points to a large tunnel to their left. Koenma: They were s'posed ta go that way. The one in tha roof leads to tha cafeteria. Usagi: Geh.... Koenma: Ahve got a bad feelin' 'bout this. Usagi: You've got a bad feeling? ChuChu: Chuuuu.... Usagi: You're front office is being trashed by a pair of under- dressed bimbos, and your first and only line of defence has a worse sense of direction than Ryouga on a BAD day. Yes, you can say you deserve to have a 'bad feeling'. Koenma: Now now now, lassie.... Don't you be gettin' all worked up, noo.... We still have.... THE GRANBUZER! Dramatic music plays as Koenma-sama's face develops an enigmatic shadow. Usagi backs away in fear. Usagi: Kowai.... Koenma-sama blinks and puts a hand behind his head, giggling. Koenma: Och, sorry 'bout that, happens whenever I mention.... THE GRANBUZER! Dramatic music plays and Koenma-sama's face once more goes into shadow. He giggles and starts to dance around on the desk. Koenma: A cool effect, wouldna ye say, lassie? Usagi: Uh.... Ha... hai.... Koenma-sama stops, posing. Koenma: So, lassie. Go ahead. Ask me what THE GRANBUZER! is. More dramatic music. More face in shadow. Usagi sweatdrops. Usagi: What? What is THE GRANBUZER!? Koenma: Ah, so you is asking what THE GRANBUZER! is, are ye? Usagi: Ha... hai. I'm asking what THE GRANBUZER! is. Koenma-sama laughs, maniacally. Koenma: Well, it's.... END OF PART 32 -------------------------------------------------------------------- ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ -------------------------------------------------------------------- What is THE GRANBUZER!? (Cue dramatic music as DDFA's face goes into shadow). Who is Chris Davies? Does he have anything to do with THE GRANBUZER! (Cue dramatic music as DDFA's face goes into shadow). Will Hell's Belles deal with him? Has Mokona really managed to defeat the entire cast of worthwhile villains from Rurouni Kenshin? Did ChuChu really try to eat Koenma-sama's hat? Has DDFA managed to truly wrestle control of the fic away from Minako? Will Minako ever appear again? Is that necessarily a bad thing? Will DDFA ever write a hentai fic? Will it be more horrible than any other hentai fic ever written? Are the Lovely Angels really Makoto and Ami in disguise? Is this a hint of a plot? Was there ever a point to putting plot in this at all? For absolutely no answers to any of this, read the next waffle-packed chapter of "The Fanfic Formerly Known As....", the well-known danger to shipping. In that order, even. _________ / @ \ DDFA (The Right Dishonourable Mark A Page) / / ^ ^ \ \ darkdayforanime@hotmail.com /\ Chief Propoganda Officer, Keeper of \/ \/ the Tapes and Co-Founder of the Saitou-chan \___________/ Appreciation Society - Adelaide Japanese /_/ \_\ PU Animation Society TROGGLE 1.0 - Monday, 31st May 1999