Title: Return to Normal? Author: Albrecht Halbstein [PG, I think] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Let's get over with the usual stuff first. The Sailor Moon characters are the properties of their creator Takeuchi Naoko, the publisher Kodansha, and the animation company Toei. I use the characters and the stories without the permissions of the aforementioned parties. This is the second attempt to write a story of any kind by the author. It was again rushed out in 4 days (which I consider an accomplishment for someone who hates writing more than anything else), so a revision should be needed in the future. All comments regarding the story itself, the crippled and awkward writing style, the intolerable grammar and spelling, and the inappropriate vocabulary usage are welcome and encouraged. I do appreciate any idea for my possible revision. The author's e-mail address is halbstein@hotmail.com. The story is told! in the first person point of view. I find it easier to tell a story this way. If it bothers you, well, tough luck. It you do not like the main character, Ten'ou Haruka, in this story, well, you are welcome to disregard this story. Nobody forces you to like her anyway. If you do not like the way I portray her, _YOU_ come up with a better one. If you do not like me, I do not necessarily like you, either. So, there! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "I have noticed that the two of you are not gregarious like the rest of the group. You seem to always isolate yourselves from the others. Is anything wrong? You can tell me if something is bothering you, my dear," said Queen Serenity concernedly. "Nothing is bothering us, Your Majesty. We are grateful for Your Majesty's concern. Please do not let us worry Your Majesty," I answered. "You need not to be so formal. Serenity is my daughter. But everyone of you sailor ! senshi is like a daughter to me, too. I would like to see all of you being happy and like sisters," said Queen Serenity softly. "I understand, Your Majesty," I replied. Queen Serenity sighed. "You two may go now," said Queen Serenity. ---------- I replayed yesterday's incident in my head again and again. I finally accepted my fate as Sailor Uranus yesterday. I have known for some time that I am destined to be a fighter with the weight of the world on my shoulders. I tried to avoid the destiny and to escape from my fate. I wanted to be free like the wind. I wanted to _BE_ the wind. The sea stopped me. {laughed} I always thought that even a mountain couldn't stop me. No matter how hard I fought against the sea, the sea did not back off. A persistent girl Michiru is. After yesterday's incident, I stopped escaping. I did not want to escape from my fate anymore. It was funny that I felt relieved after taking on the weight of the world. {chuckled} Howev! er, what Michiru said when I helped her sit up still clouds my mind. She said that she has been interested in me for a long time. In what way is she interested in me? She seems to want to get close to me. I don't know. Perhaps...nah. I feel both comfortable and uncomfortable around her. I feel like I have known her for a long time. But the new and unknown emerging feelings toward her trouble me immensely. {shaked the head} I think too much. I should be happy that I just got a new friend who likes me not because of my academic grade or my fame...well...at least I hope not. ---------- The monster in front of us reverted to a normal Mugen Gakuen student after I threw a World Shaking power ball at it. That was the first time I used my power. Even though I have seen Neptune in action before, I am still a tad stunned by what my power did to the monster. "Don't worry, Uranus. You will get used to it," said Neptune with a smile in reply to my daze. I returned! a smile without thinking. I will get used to it? How many more monsters do we need to face? "Do you have to go home now? Would you like to join me for some coffee?" asked Neptune. "Huh? Oh. I'd love to," I replied without thinking. Gee, what am I doing? I still have homework to do. I have no time for that right now. Fighting this monster has already taken a big chunk out of my time. But that is part of the sacrifice I have to make because of my fate. Having coffee with her while tons of homework are left undone is not part of the deal...I think it is not...I guess it is not. Ahem. Right. It is not. However, the thought of going out with her made me excited. The homework... Well. It can wait. We de-transformed and walked to a nearby coffee shop. "Have you noticed a pattern here?" asked Michiru. "Mm..." "Both this and the previous times the monsters were Mugen Gakuen students," said Michiru. "Before you joined in, the monsters I fought were a! ll Mugen Gakuen students. I would say it is a bit more than a conincidence." "Mm..." An electricity-like shock went through my body suddenly. I then saw that Michiru's hand was on top of mine while I was in a trance. She stared at me in a queer way. I could not look at her. I felt that my face began to burn. "Are you all right, Haruka? What was bothering you?" asked Michiru. "N..nothing... I'm fine. Wh...why do you ask?" I stuttered. She covered her mouth with her other hand and giggled. She lightly stroked my hand. I wanted to retract my hand, but I could not move an inch. My whole body froze at her touch. I was still staring at my coffee cup. "Not a very good liar, are you?" she asked rhetorically. "Do I make you nervous?" "Certainly not. What makes you say that?" I responded in a more composed way. I finally snapped out of my trance. I must admit that she did make me nervous. Well..._SHE_ did not make me nervous... but what her touch! made me feel did. I was in a trance because coming to this coffee shop with her was like a dream to me. It felt so right and yet so wrong at the same time. I should not be this excited, should I? I like her a lot. I liked her on the very first glance when we met for the first time at that track. I have wanted to get near her ever since. But my reluctance to accept my fate was in the way. That has been cleared. When I held the injured her in my arm in the previous battle, the strange feeling that had been troubling me gushed out. And when she told me that she had been interested in me for a long time, I felt like I could die for her. Nevertheless, something was wrong in the picture. I should be grateful for her risking her own life to save me but not _THIS_ grateful. What about friendship? There was none at that point, as far as I could tell. Why did I feel that I like her a lot...no... more than a lot... That was when she touched me and the electrifying shoc! k went through my body. No! Not that feeling. I cannot and should not have that feeling toward her. When she touched my hand, I felt as if she saw through me. I will deny everything. "Ara...if you say so," said Michiru with an odd expression. "You are true to yourself. You will accept it one day." What did that mean? Did she really read my thought? ---------- "Your Majesty. The relationship between the senshi of Uranus and the senshi of Neptune seems to gather an enormous amount of speculation lately. They become closer as they spend more time together. They practically separate themselves from the rest of the group except during the training exercises. The group must act as a whole in order to guard the kingdom with the full capacity. The speculation is affecting the morale of the troups, who are under the senshi's command. The way those 2 refuse to let anyone else get close to them holds back the whole team's fighting power. I suggest that Your Maje! sty should separate those 2 and force them to get used to being other senshi's partners. It will reduce the speculation and train them to work as a team with others," said queen's chief advisor. "Is the situation really that serious? I have noticed how those 2 are different from the rest of the group for quite sometime now. However, I have failed to see major uneasiness in the troups. As for the cooperation among the girls, I think it is better to let them work it out themselves. They are young people. What is more appropriate for us to do is to create the opportunities for them to work and play together instead of forcing them into a certain way with our authority. Would you not say so?" said Queen Serenity. "Yes, Your Majesty. Nevertheless, I think..." responded the advisor. "I am a parent, Advisor. I have a daughter. Those 2 are young and perhaps slightly rebellious. But they are not unreasonable. Give them the time and chance. I believe what I see in! them. Things will be fine," said the queen to stop the advisor. "Yes, Your Majesty," answered the advisor slightly disappointedly. ---------- "Pop, have you noticed any change in our daughter recently?" asked Mother. "Change? Yes. She spends less time in her homework after school. But if she can maintain her excellent grades, I have no objection. Children need time to enjoy themselves and enjoy the youth that comes only once in a lifetime," answered Father. "I can't say you are wrong. But that is not what I mean by change. Have you noticed that she started to practice piano again recently? She sometimes practices at home and sometimes at her friend's home. What's her name again? Michiru, is it? We must invite her home some time. I have to ask her how she persuaded our daughter to play piano," said Mother excitedly. "Heh... Whether she races or plays piano, it is the same to me as long as she truly enjoys herself. Kids these days do not have as m! uch play time as we did when we were kids," commented Father. ---------- "Ara. You are too modest, Haruka. You really played excellently. The tempo, the flow, and the expression were done very nicely. I can hardly tell that you have not touched the keyboard for 5 years. However, you were very tense, especially when we tried a duo. Is it because you have no confidence? Believe me, you are capable of performing in front of a live audience and accompanying me," said Michiru sweetly. "Thank you for your compliment and confidence in me. I...uh...I guess that I need more time to get reacquainted with piano," I said nervously while staring at the keyboard. Why did I start to play piano again after all these years? Michiru is a student from a different school. Practicing piano with her seems to be the most sound excuse for me to be with her besides fighting the monsters as a senshi. But, but, why do I need an excuse for myself? Why do I even want to be with her?! Why? This is the question I asked myself constantly. Michiru, who sat next to me on the bench, giggled a little bit before she put her hand on my shoulder. "I know that you are tense not because of a low confidence in your skill. In fact, you have confidence in everything you do," said Michiru with a queer smile. "You are tense because of me. See? Your shoulder muscles are as hard as steel. You always tense up when I am around. Am I right?" "N...no. Th...there is no such thing. I...I...I just worry about the monsters, our mission, and my homework," I stuttered. "{chuckled nervously} Wh...why should I be tense around you? Uh...I think it is time for me to go home now." "Tsk Tsk Tsk, Haruka. You really are not a good liar. And, if I remember correctly, you have no homework tonight. What's the hurry then?" said Michiru. "Here. Let me help you loosen up a bit. And you better tell me the truth while I do that." Michiru stood up from the bench and wa! lked to my back. She put both hands on my shoulders and began to massage my shoulders and the back of my neck. I wanted to stand up, but I could not move, not even a centimeter. Oh, God. What is she doing? I have to get out of here now. I have to. But I still could not move. Michiru lowered her head next to my ear. "Try to relax a little, Haruka. It is hard to massage your shoulder when you don't relax. You seem to be afraid of me...or something else. You said that you need time to get reacquainted with piano. What about me? Hmm? How much more time do you need? Haruka?" said Michiru in a barely audible voice. I could feel myself trembling. I don't want to think about what she meant. I don't want to think about the sudden urge that I felt. No! No! No! Things are not like that. Things _SHOULD_ not be like that. That is not normal. I have a normal life. I have a normal family. I have normal friends. This is not real. Someone please tell me that this! is not real. "Haruka? Since neither of us is busy tonight, would you pose for me for the portrait that I wanted to do? Are you still not interested?" asked Michiru expectantly. "NO!" I shouted. I jumped up, stunned her, grabbed my bookbag, and ran out of the house. I can't allow this to happen. I have sacrificed enough for the mission. ---------- "Where are you taking Neptune, Advisor?" I shouted while 4 guards pinned me to the wall. "ANSWER ME! What did she do?" "Sailor Uranus, I don't have to answer you. But I want to make this clear. You 2 are a disgrace to the queen's court. Your presence is a disturbance to the troops. I have to do this for the security of our kingdom. I want to separate you 2 first. With Neptune gone, you are bound to take drastic measures to get her back. And, when you do, I will have more than enough reasons to get rid of you 2 for good," said the advisor. "You can't do this! Does Her Majesty know anything about this? ! Let me speak to Her Majesty! I want to see Queen Serenity!" I shouted. "Her Majesty is blinded by you. Her Majesty does not understand the seriousness of the situation as well as I do. I will not let you see Her Majesty now. Her Majesty will eventually find out what I do. But I am sure that Her Majesty will forgive me when Her Majesty realizes where my true loyalty lies. Now, if you will excuse me, I have important things to do. Guards, take Sailor Neptune to the dungeon and lock Sailor Uranus in the stable. When Her Majesty asks about these 2, just say that they are missing and you cannot find them," said the advisor. "You can't do this!" I shouted and tried to break free. "Can't I? I think I just did... Your Majesty! Wh...what brings Your Majesty here?" said the shocked advisor. "I was looking for you, Advisor. Someone told me that she saw you head this way with several guards," said Queen Serenity. "What is going on here, may I inquire?" "I...I..! ." the advisor stuttered tensely. "Your Majesty, he can't do this to us! Who gave him the right to lock us up for no reason at all?" I complained loudly. "Calm down, my child. You can tell me what happened. Guards, release them," said Queen Serenity. I knelt in front of Queen Serenity and repeated the advisor's plan. I tried to recompose myself but failed. "Who gave him the right to separate me and Neptune? Who gave _ANYONE_ the right to separate us? Your Majesty? We sailor senshi swore our loyalty to the kingdom, to Your Majesty, and to the princess. Our life is limited to our duty to the kingdom. We hardly have any personal life. Because of the nature of our duty, we are not allowed the luxury of forming a family of our own with other people. We can't afford to love other people because it will interfere with our duty. I am not complaining about that harsh fact. I truly believe that some sacrifice has to be made. However, I did find my love. Neptu! ne. She is one of us. She also loves me. When I am with her, I feel that my life is complete. It is bliss. Is it so wrong to have bliss? Since we can't love an outsider, why can't we love each other? Has our love paralyzed our performance in our duty? Has our love ever disrupted the group? Have we done any crime? Your Majesty?" I said. "Sh... Come now, my child. You didn't do anything wrong. I am glad that you explained your feelings. Even though the advisor's action was too extreme, his intention was for the good of the kingdom. Since no real harm was done, could you find in your heart to forgive him? Uranus? Neptune?" said Queen Serenity. "Yes, Your Majesty," replied Neptune before I could explode. Neptune looked at me with her usual elegant smile and grace. I could no longer explode now. The fire in my eyes were gone. "Yes, Your Majesty," I said calmly. "Good. I know you 2 are reasonable. Didn't I tell you that, Advisor? What I hope you ! 2 would do is to get closer to the rest of the group. Don't isolate yourself from them. Would you do that?" asked Queen Serenity. "We keep our distance from them because we think that they do not wish to associate themselves with us. We do not want to look for humiliation and conflicts," I replied. "Believe me, Uranus. There is no such thing. They really want to get closer to you. They, especially Venus, have expressed to me on numerous occasions that they wish you could join them and that they wish you would not shun them," said Queen Serenity with a soft smile. "Really? Your Majesty?" I exclaimed. "Yes, really, Uranus. I will arrange a picnic for all of you, including Serenity, to get acquainted. Is it fine with you?" said Queen Serenity. "Your Majesty, it will be our honor," I answered excitedly. "Very well. I will leave you 2 alone now. Advisor, I have some important things that I need to discuss with you," said Queen Serenity. Queen Serenit! y walked out of the room, followed by the advisor and the guards. ---------- Four figures stood on top of a 3-story school building. Two of them were fighting the other two. "Neptune, be careful not to use too much power. They are still human beings despite of their apparently monstrous exterior and power," I said. "I know what I am doing, Uranus. You should be careful not to hold back too much power. Each new monster is more powerful than the previous ones. Whoever created them seems to be still experimenting using Mugen Gakuen students. At this rate, if we do not stop the creator soon, we will be unable to defeat the new monsters even with our full power," said Neptune. "That is what worries me...NEPTUNE!" I exclaimed when I saw one of the 2 monsters pin her on the ground at the edge. She must have lost her concentration for a few moments when she talked to me. It is my fault. I attempted to run to her. But the other monster stopped me. I tried to p! unch and kick my way out without avail. The monster was completely unaffected. I glanced over and saw that Neptune was still helpless. It seemed that she could not hold on much longer. "World Shaking!" I shouted and attacked the monster with my power ball. This monster was reverted to a male student but mildly injuried. Oh, no, I lost some control on my power. "Uranus! Attack this monster now!" yelled Neptune. "I can't. I will injure both of you. I can't. I am sorry," I said hopelessly. "Don't worry about me. Just hit it with your World Shaking. I will be fine," said Neptune. I hesitated. What should I do? Too much power will probably injure the student that is beneath the monstrous exterior. Too little power will probably not be effective enough to get it away from Neptune and will consequently irritate it to kill her. The monster picked up Neptune and was about to throw her off the building. "NO......" I yelled and bolted towards Neptun! e without thinking. It was already too late. Too late. I saw Neptune fall off the building. It happened so fast. I saw the expression on her face. Regret. There was no blame in her eyes, but regret. There was a painfully forced smile. I felt like someone just pounded on my chest. I could hardly breathe. No... This cannot be happening. "WORLD SHAKING!!!" I shouted my attack. The monster fell on the ground. It was reverted to a male student but was serious injuried. I could not care about that anymore. I rushed downstairs to the school ground. I began to fear as I approached the spot where Neptune should land. The horrible image of her mutilated body flooded my mind. I slowed down. I looked around but did not really look. Do I want to find her or not? I don't want to see the imagination become a reality. But, I have to find her. Suddenly, I saw something under a tree by the building. I ran to it. It was Neptune. But...she was not moving. I knelt ! down and held her in my arms. "Neptune...no...this is not real. Michiru, you can't leave me," I whimpered. "Please come back. I don't want to lose you." I heard a cough. I felt something moving...in my arms. Michiru? Is she still alive? I looked down. "Haruka...who said that I will leave you?" whispered Neptune. "I became unconscious after I fell to the ground. But I am ok, just a little out of breath. Don't worry, Haruka." "But you fell down 3 stories," I asked. "This tree caught me first and reduced the impact. I may need to lie down for a few days but I will be fine. I am sorry to have you worried," said Neptune. "I am so happy, Michiru," I said and embraced Neptune tightly. "What was it that you said? You don't want to lose me?" asked Neptune. "I...uh...I realized that I...I...cannot live without you. I have had the visions of us as Uranus and Neptune in the Silver Millennium for a while. I did not want to accept that. I thought that ! I have sacrificed enough for my destiny, which I have no control over, and I did not want to lose whatever I have remaining. But your fall made me realize that I can lose everything else but you. I can't bear the thought and the pain. Can you forgive me for not attacking the monster when you asked me to?" I said. "Silly. Of course I forgive you. But you have to promise me one thing, Haruka," said Neptune. "What is it, Michiru?" I asked. "Promise me that you will ignore my safety for the sake of our mission in the future. We cannot allow our worry to jeopardize the mission," said Neptune. I was stunned. "Promise me, will you? Haruka?" asked Neptune expectantly and sincerely. I was still speechless. "When the world is safe from the evil invaders, we will have the chance to meet in our next life just like we do in this life, will we not?" asked Neptune. "I...I promise. But you have to promise, too," I said sadly. "Yes, I promise. You have to un! derstand that the lives of the many outweigh the lives of the few. We have to be ready to sacrifice anyone, including ourselves," said Neptune. "I understand," I replied. "I said that you are always true to yourself. I knew I was right. I am happy to know that you finally accepted what your heart tells you. I am very happy to know that things are back to normal," said Neptune blissfully. Normal? What is normal? The way we were or the way everyone else is? I cannot help but wonder.