use02616@log.on.ca



Life & Death

By Douglas Helm

An Sailor Moon Expanded Fanfic.



This little peice is about Younger Jupiter, Rakurai Sakuya.  Please

note that *this* particular Sakuya isn't the same as in "Tales of

Younger Jupiter"



August 4, 2888 -



Dear Dairy,  My heart is heavy with sadness... did some long ago

writer say that?  Although most people would view my fathers passing

as the cause of my greif it isn't.  I am glad that he died in his

sleep not looking into the black maw of death.  My sadness is that

I've betrayed my fathers memory by an act that could cause even

more heart felt pain.



September 17, 2888 -



Dear Dairy, A little over a month ago, my heart full of sorrow at

my fathers passing, I turned to a person who I though might comfort

me. He did but out of that comforting embrace he has put me into a

position that I am not really certain of.  The sensei know that

something is up, they have not servived this long without keeping

alert.  My fear now is more for the coming choice that I must make

and what bearing it would have on me and the others around me.



October 12, 2888 -



Dear Dairy, I plunged into the fires today...  I told the sensei's

about what happen two month previous.  Haruka-sensei took it better

then Michiru-sensei did.  Although I can understand the reaction

of both.  When Michire-sensei bluntly told me that I must do

what was best and give up the child I felt like I was biting the

hand that had fed me when I said it was my choice.  Michiru-sensei

saved me from spiralling down into a possible life of depression

and gave me hope.



November 4, 2888 -



Dear Dairy, well past three months now I've decided to carry

the child until it's birth.  I did have to concede a point to

the Sensei's though.  I was never clearly ready for a child

and the job that I took up when Michiru-sensei found me would

not give me the time to nurture the child in the way that I

would like.  Therefore I've told the sensei that I would

give the child up.  I had the Sensei's put it in writing and

I signed the paper.  I am quite sure that by the time the

child is ready to come into this world I might change my mind.



December 6, 2888 -



Dear Dairy,  Five months!  Only four to go.  My greatest dislike

for this pregnancy at the moment is that I've had to cut down on

my physical training.  It's a good thing that I'm interested in

books and the ebs and flow of financial markets to distract me

or I'd probably turn into a lump of flesh.  RH hasn't helped

either with his smart ass remarks.



January 14, 2889 -



Dear Dairy, I took a rather sadistic pleasure in noting that

the father of my child died in a flaming car wreck.  Although

I take full responsibility for my own actions he decieved me

and used me; I show no mercy to those types of people... well

maybe one.



Febraury 6, 2889 -



Dear Dairy, Certianly a fiesty one.  I finally broke down and

found out it was a girl.  Hopefully she'll be more intellegent

then her mother...  Oddly enough RH has become rather civil

all of a sudden.  I'm not entirely sure of his reasons but I

won't look upon good fortune and reject it.



March 8, 2889 -



Dear Dairy, I'm restless.  My resolve is starting to crack but

I will see this through...  I look to my future and wonder what

it holds... I look to the childs future I carry and know she will

never know her mother; that was part of the agreement.  I shall

live up to my end of the bargin.  Oddly enough Michiru-sensei

asked me if I'd thought of a name; I said no.  I knew as soon

as I gave this entity inside my body a name something more

maternal then I care to consider would come into play.  I've

become cold and resolute only through the effort of avoiding

the topic... But that won't last for ever.



April 4, 2889 -



Dear Dairy, I'm really supposed to be resting now but my

stubborness to keep a daily journal overrides even doctor's

oders as far as I'm concerned.  I gave birth early this

morning.  I took the last step in saying good bye, I gave

my daughter a name.  Sayoko.



The End



Rakura Sakuya's Accountant

http://log.on.ca/users/helm/anime/index.htm

http://log.on.ca/users/helm/sako/sakohome.htm