BaRkInG sNoUt
by DARK DAY FOR ANIME

6. LEFT TURN AT ALBEQUERQUE

	Naru wandered down the street, with Gurio in tow, wondering 
why the hell nothing was trying to eat her today.  "I have a bloody 
contract."  She muttered.  This was most unusual behaviour on the 
part of the monsters.

	"Didn't you hear?"  Gurio muttered from behind her.
	"What?"
	"They've gone on strike.  They're having to employ scab labour 
for this week's show, from other tv porgrams."
	"What is that supposed to mean?"

	"EXTERMINATE!"

	From nowhere. a beam of energy fried Gurio on the spot.  Naru 
stared down at his corpse.  "Oh that's just great.  Now who am I 
gonna have for a boyfriend, eh?  Why is it MINE that always ends up 
dead?"  She sniffed for a few moments, pulling out a knife and fork.
"Oh well, waste not, want not."

	Before she could start eating Gurio, two large robotic beings 
appeared in front of her.

	"DO...NOT...MOVE."
	"YOU...SHALL...OBEY...US."
	"WE...ARE...THE...DALEKS.  WE...ARE...YOUR...SUPERIORS."

	Naru stared at the Daleks for a few moments.  "Ah, just what I 
need."  She grabbed them and tipped them upside-down over Gurio's 
body, shaking salt and pepper over him.

	"Ah yes, add to taste."  She said happily.  She them tossed 
them aside, where they came face to face with their mortal enemy, 
the staircase.

	"AIEEEEE!  THEY...HAVE...STAIRS...ON...THIS...PLANET!"
	"RUN...AWAY!  RUN...AWAY!"

	They scarpered.


	Naru happily munched on Gurio for a while, glad for once that 
he'd followed her.  Suddenly, there was a wheezing and groaning 
noise behind her.  She turned to see a blue box with a flashing 
light on top appear.  The door to the box opened, and a woman with 
green hair and red eyes, wearing a floppy hat and a scarf appeared.

	"Ah, excuse me."  She said.  "This wouldn't happen to be Gaea, 
would it?  I have a couple of Guymelefs some guy named Dilandau had 
put on order."

	"No, sorry.  This is Earth."

	"Bugger!  The Phantom Moon AGAIN!  Why the hell do they have 
to have such a difficult to find address!"  The woman slammed the 
door and the blue box disappeared.



	Meanwhile, Sailormoon and Sailormars were chasing Youmas who 
had attacked an international conference of intellectuals, draining 
each and every participant of every drop of intelligence they had.

	"Where did these Youmas come from?  I thought they were on 
strike."  Sailormoon queried as she and Sailormars bounded over the 
tops of buildings in pursuit of their hooded quarry.

	"I don't know.  Maybe Jadeite tricked us."

	CUT TO PICTURE OF JADEITE, LYING IN HIS BATHTUB, DRINKING BEER 
AND READING HUSTLER.  HE NOTICES WE'RE WATCHING.

	"Don't look at me.  I've got nothing to do with it."

	CUT BACK TO THE CHASE.

	"Look, Sailormoon!"  Mars pointed ahead.  "They've stopped 
running in that graveyard!  It looks like they're going to fight 
us."
	"Oh well.  How should we do this?  Run around ineffectually 
for about five minutes before zapping them with a pathetically 
simple attack?  Or should we play dirty and kick 'em in the nuts?"

	"We do what we normally do."

	"Ah, alright then.  Coward mode on!"


	The pair landed in the graveyard as the five dark figures 
watched them, silently.

	"So, you thought you could get away from us, did you?"  Mars 
shouted.

	"Well, that was part of our plan."  Said one of the Youmas in 
a squeaky voice."

	"You cannot escape us, Youmas, for I am Sailormoon.  And in 
the name of the Moon, I'll punish you!"  Sailormoon struck a pose, 
and Mars sweatdropped.
	"You know, it looks so silly when you do that."
	"Better than your pathetic little effort."  Usagi retorted.

	The Youmas laughed.  "We are not afriad of you, Sailormoon.  
Are you ready girls?"
	"Yeah."  Said her compatriots in a squeaky voice.  They leapt 
high in the air, throwing off their cloaks, and landed on the 
ground, dramatically.

	"GINGER!"
	"SCARY!"
	"BABY!"
	"POSH!"
	"AND I'M SPORTY!"

	All in unison....  "Together, we are the SPICE YOUMAS!"

	"SUPER MEGA ATOMIC FIRE SOUL BURNING MANDALA FLAME SNIPER!"  
In a instant, the Spice Youmas were ashes.  Usagi stared nervously 
at the puffing Sailormars, who had sweat dripping down the sides of 
her face.

	"Sorry."  She said.  "Reflex."


^_^
DDFA ayanami@merlin.net.au
30th Jan 1998