2CWF RAW/WAR ZONE (WEEK 2) Rating: R (profanity, suggestive dialogue, and violence) Note: Do NOT read this until you read CWF'S Sunday Night Heat!! If you DON'T heed this, then this one won't make a DAMN bit of sense!! Plus, this is written like it was a taped episode, so some of the language that you saw on last week show may not necessarily be on tonight's episode, hence the s you will see, but I rated it R notherless, so I can use the dialogue. DISCLAMER: As always, all proper names aren't my damn property, but belong to their respective companies and creators. Plus, any "sponsors" are not actually sponsors, and the rants and slogans are copyrighted to their respective companies. E-MAIL: darkpowrjd@aol.com --------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Commentators (1st Hour): Jim Ross Serena Sommers Michael Cole Commentators (2nd Hour): Serena Sommers Jerry "The King" Lawler Backstage: Kevin Kelly Jim Ross & Michael Cole (2nd hour only) Terry Taylor (although we probably won't SEE him) The New Guy (a "new guy") --------------------------------------------- ------------------------ CWF Raw is War starts by showing what happened last night on Sunday Night Heat, more importanly, what happened with Austin and McMahon, Beryl advancing in the tournament. It's followed by the intro to Raw, and then the fans' signs and such. the Announcers start ROSS: Tonight, McMahon will adress his findings of the beer pool that Austin dumped him in last night on Sunday Night Heat, and he's not too happy about. The Corperation's music plays as they are booed coming out. SERENA: Yes, everyone, welcome to CWF Raw is War here on Sailor Moon Romance network [I named it a NETWORK!! HA HA!!], and tonight, this guy is coming out PISSED due to his BEER BATH last week at the hands of Stone Cold Steve Austin. COLE: Yeah, and not only THAT, he DQ'ed MIDIAN from the World Title Tournament, but as well, he ALSO did something ELSE last night. Team Rocket and D-Generation X have joined forces, and answer me THIS, do we call them Team Rocket or DX?!! ROSS: Well, later tonight, Jerry "The King" Lawler will be here. But right now, Vince has the mike. VINCE: Well, AUSTIN, I hope you damn PROUD of yourself. You HUMILIATED me last night, and... CROWD: ASS----, ASS----, ASS----.... COLE: They go off AGAIN!! SERENA: Certanly FITS him, DOESN'T it?! ROSS: Certanly DOES!! VINCE: Well, you're directing THAT to the wrong PERSON, because you SHOULD be saving THAT name for Queen Beryl TONIGHT...NO, wait!! There are TWO!! HER...AND THOSE NO GOOD GUYS THEMSELVES, TEAM ROCKET!! ROSS: Uh oh!! Here WE go AGAIN!! VINCE: Why, you ask, should we be booing THESE guys?! Because the Corperate Ministry will take them DOWN!! And TONIGHT, two MORE ass will go against each OTHER here tonight!! They are The Rock, and Tuxedo Mask here TONIGHT!! Now, I don't give a DAMN who wins in THAT match, but... DAKRPOWER: [on Titantron] HOLD A MINUTE VINCE!! You see, I've switched some stuff. You see, last night, I had some ideas that I thought kicked ass, so I DID them. They are just some things that I did. Seeing that Triple H had a WWF vs. WWF match tonight ANYWAYS, I was thinking that we switch two people. So, Tuxedo Mask, you WON'T be facing The ROCK tonight. Besides, I'm sure The Rock would want to go against TRIPLE H a whole lot MORE THAN YOU!! Crowd cheers their heads off, Triple H is NOT happy about THIS TRIPLE H: WAIT a minute, I don't know who I WAS gonna face... DARKPOWER: WOAH WOAH, let me FINISH!! Now, TM, since Shane wanted you and the Rock to go hardcore RULES, the HCR thing goes to YOUR match, which is you vs...THE UNDERTAKER!! COLE: WOAH!! That's right here TONIGHT!! DARKPOWER: Oh, and the winner meets VAL VENUS!! Now Triple H, I thought that you would be HAPPY, because if you BEAT the Rock, YOU get another shot at Queen Beryl on Sunday Night Heat. So Triple H,...oh, HOLD ON!! We're forgetting ONE PERSON!! Well, TWO, because last week, Undertaker, you interrupted a match from your "business"!! I think it was Edge vs. Goku!! Yeah!! Well, THEY'LL have THEIR business to settle here tonight, bcause there's a RETURN match here tonight, as well!! ROSS: Oh man, THAT will be VERY hellatious here tonight. DARKPOWER: And ALSO tonight, I see that Sailor Mercury had a match against Al Snow, and I was thinking that we make THAT a hardcore match tonight as WELL, seeing that Mercury LIKES those matches now, and Al Snow is too STUPID to really CARE!! SERENA: He's actually giving THAT nutcase a chance at the title here tonight?! COLE: Can't blame HIS mind!! He's all OVER the place with these matches!! All of a sudden, GLASS SHATTERS!! Stone Cold comes out as the crowd gets rowdy and his music echos in the arena. ROSS: STONE COLD IS HERE!!! COLE: Vince cannot be PLEASED at THIS!! AUSTIN: Last night, Vince, I think that you came out...SMELLING LIKE A BUNCH OF DAMN ROSES!! ROSS: Last night, the beer pool is where HE went!! AUSTIN: And, being the sorry stupid son of a that you ARE, you probably forgot your little SPEEDOS!! COLE: WOAH!! AUSTIN: But getting down to business right NOW, I'm listening in the BACK, and I'm hearing a bunch of BS about how this and that's gonna go on!! Basically, I don't give a damn WHO I face, because next week, I'm gonna STOMP A MUD HOLE IN THEIR ASSES, AND WALK IT DRY!! SERENA: WOAH!! BAD NEWS FOR ANYONE FACING HIM NEXT WEEK!! AUSTIN: What I'm ALSO hearing, Vince, is that YOU can't get ALONG with some people here!! As I see it, Vince, you're basically telling both ME and that crazy little queen, Queen Beryl, to kick YOUR sorry ASS!! ROSS: WOAH!! VINCE: We would be more than GLAD to face that and you TOGETHER!! Me and Shane will take your ass and KICK IT TILL IT'S RED!!! AUSTIN: So basically, you're selling your ASS out to anyone who wants to KICK it!! I think that may be possible, but... All of a sudden, the music of the Negaverse starts playing. The crowd starts cheering, already knowing who it is. Beryl then comes out, mike already in hand. BERYL: Vince, are you saying that you WANT me to kick your ASS STILL here tonight...AND you want STONE COLD to do even MORE damage?! VINCE: Listen up, you little... CROWD: ASS----, ASS----, ASS----... AUSTIN: Hey, Vince, I can't hear what you OR Beryl is saying, because there are about 50,000 people, calling YOU an ASS!! Crowd cheers. VINCE: How about a tag match. Me and Shane vs. you two here TONIGHT. AUSTIN: Well, fine!! I can handle that, because Beryl may be a ...BUT SHE'S THE BIGGEST AND BADDEST HERE!!! So if she is willing to show some GUTS, then we will be HAPPY to STOMP A MUD HOLE IN YA'!! BERYL: Hey Austin, I would be more than HAPPY to beat these two SORRY asses!! As a matter of fact, let's make this a little BETTER!! Austin, if you don't mind, I have about as much time as I WANT to beat their asses in my Negaverse, SO... ROSS: Is she gonna...?! BERYL: Why don't you two drag your asses back to that portal, come into MY world, and have a hardcore rules, NEGAMATCH!! SERENA: NEGAMATCH here TONIGHT!! VINCE: We would be happy to wreck YOUR little world!! AUSTIN: I don't really give a rat's ass WHERE I'm at, if I can beat their ASSES in there, then that's EXACTLY what I'm gonna do, AND THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE [crowd joins in] BECAUSE STONE COLD SAID SO!! [his music plays] COLE: So TONIGHT, Vince and Shane vs. Queen Beryl and Stone Cold Steve Austin, IN THE NEGAVERSE!! ROSS: I think that the McMahons are getting themselves into a hole that they can't come OUT of now!! Beryl knows just about EVERYTHING she can do in her Negaverse, and we KNOW that Austin couldn't care LESS WHERE he gets his hands on the McMahons!! All of a sudden, Austin's music stops, and... BG: DO YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN'?!! [...Rock's music starts playing as he comes out, stopping both Austin and Beryl in their tracks. Austin looks at him, then leaves. Beryl sticks around, knowing that she could be facing him.] COLE: What's the Rock doing out here?! ROCK: Darkpower, the Rock has smelled what you're cookin', and Triple H, the sorry candy ass you ARE, The Rock has just been handed your ass on a silver platter, with a FORK RAMMED DOWN INTO YOUR RECTUM!! Now, once The Rock is done, walking all over your... CROWD AND ROCK:...ROODY POO, CANDY ASS... ROCK: ...all over God's Green EARTH, then Beryl, the Rock will come to you, he will go to Sunday Night Heat, he will get into the People's Ring, he will give the People's Eyebrow [he gives it for a few seconds], and then proceed to check YOUR ass into the SMACK DOWN HOTEL, and then, Beryl, you will go ONE ON ONE with the GREAT ONE, and the MILLIONS... [turns his head sharply] CROWD: ...AND MILLIONS!!! ROCK: ...and MILLIONS of the Rock's fans will see your ROODY POO CANDY ASS get kicked all over God's Green Earth, your stupid little Negaverse, and EVERYWHERE IN BETWEEN, [crowd joins in] IF YOU SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLLLLLL, WHAT THE ROCK.... CROWD: ...IS COOKIN'!! ROCK: .............IS COOKIN'!! [music plays and everyone involved in this little skit makes an exit] COLE: The Rock wants Triple H here TONIGHT!! ROSS: I KNEW this was gonna happen!! SERENA: Well, Beryl will not only have her hands full tonight on RAW, but as well on Sunday Night Heat, when [the RAW graphic that shows the matches is animated and starts to show the people in matches tonight] she will face the winner of Triple H vs. The Rock, and SOMEONE will be checked into the SMACK DOWN HOTEL here TONIGHT!! ROSS: You can put a guarentee on THAT, plus tonight, we've heard it. It's the McMahon men vs Beryl and Austin, and this is Beryl's match, the Negamatch, in which it'll takew place in Beryl's Negaverse. COLE: Plus tonight, a return match of Edge vs. Goku, and THIS time, there MUST be a WINNER!! ROSS: And Tuxedo Mask now has a Hardcore match vs. The Undertaker, winner moves on, that's gonna be one HELL of a matchup!! SERENA: Plus, Team Rocket will tell us if they have really joined DX here tonight!! COLE: Plus, Darkpower has made Sailor Mercury vs. Al Snow a HARDCORE MATCH for advancement in the Title tournament, but does Al Snow even REALIZE that he has DONE THAT!! And get this, it's next... All of a sudden, the camera now cuts to Tuxedo Mask entering the arena, not knowing what Darkpower has just done. COLE: Mask doesn't even know that Darkpower put him in a tough spot. Earl Hebner then come up to him. HEBNER: Hey, Tuxedo Mask, Darkpower put you up in a hardcore match against the Undertaker, and the Rock now has Triple H instead. MASK: WHAT?!! What the hell is THIS BS?! HEBNER: That's JUST what I heard from him!! MASK: Well, I'm gonna give him a little some of my MIND here tonight!! He starts making his way ANGRILY down to the ring. COLE: He's not happy about what Darkpower DID to him, and he's gonna SHOW IT, and he may be coming out NEXT!! [they go to a quick break] [Wrestlemania Commercial] COMM. ANN.: Eight Men... DARKPOWER: We will start this thing TONIGHT, and that's all I've gotta SAY!! COMM. ANN.: Eight greedy men!! AUSTIN: [SNH with the beer truck] I think this thing is giving you nightmares!! ROCK: [last week]The Rock will take his to Wrestlemania, and become the CWF champion. MARS: [from last week] You're not only looking at the 3rd parson...but the next CWF Champion!! ...COLE: THAT'S THEIR GREATEST ENEMY, AND SHE'S THEIR 3RD MAN!! COMM. ANN.: One GOAL!! The CWF CHAMPIONSHIP!! WHO WILL WIN!! CWF Wrestlemania: The Ultimate War. E-Mail the creator for subscription on Free-Per-View [basically. I'll have more at the end of the show.]!! [end WM commercial.] They come back from break. The camera is focused on Jim Ross's face, in which he has something serious to say. ROSS: Welcome back to RAW IS WAR, and before we go any further, we like to remind you that RAW IS WAR is intended for our older audiance, hence the "R (TV-14 LVD)" rating, and therefore, some of the things said may offend some viewers, so please be aware of that. SUNDAY NIGHT HEAT is geared toward a different audiance, and we try our HARDEST to do that. However, RAW IS WAR is intended for older audiances, and parental discretion IS recommended when viewing RAW!! [I MEAN this, as well] All of a sudden, Tuxedo Mask's music starts playing, and he comes out...and he's NOT happy. COLE: Well, after what this guy has to say right now, I think you may want to say TV-MA, because he doesn't look happy!! He gets into the ring, and starts to speak. MASK: Hey Darkpower, WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! SERENA: UH OH!! MASK: I heard in the back, that you want ME vs. The Undertaker here tonight!! Now, don't get me wrong, I can kick the dead man's ASS here tonight, but what was the REASON!! And don't give me all that talk about you wanting Triple H and The Rock, because I know that you don't LIKE ME!! COLE: Wait a minute!! Darkpower NEVER said THAT!! Darkpower then appears on the stage. DARKPOWER: Hey, TM, you better clean out your EARS, because I didn't SAY that I didn't LIKE you!! Hell, I WANT you to kick the Reaper's...oh, I FORGOT, THIS is a FAMILY SHOW!! SERENA: Last NIGHT, he didn't act like THAT!! MASK: Get to the point, Darkpower!! DARKPOWER: Now, Mask, I'm NOT trying to SCREW you!! I am NOT like Vince McMahon!! He was GLAD that you're against the Undertaker, because it's HIM that doesn't LIKE you, NOT ME!! But don't worry about the Undertaker, because I have a plan to get you THOUGH him, at LEAST!! That plan was a Hardcore Match!! You see, THAT'S why I made that match. Because I KNEW that the Undertaker would try it ANYWAYS, so I guess it'll BE THAT WAY!! MASK: So you're NOT screwing me!! So you're NOT the that I thought you WERE!!! Well, I'll make SURE that you DON'T screw me, and THAT is.... BG: WWWWEEEEEELLLLLLLLLL, WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW!! COLE: That's the Big Show, Paul White's music, but what the hell is he doing out here NOW?!! SERENA: Well, let's just hope that this doesn't turn out to be like what we witnessed out at Woodstock last week! ROSS: Yeah, and we are thankful that no one got hurt because of what went down there. HOWEVER, that is NOTHING like what we may see HERE RIGHT NOW!! The Big Show is coming out!! The Big Show grabs the mike. BIG SHOW: Hey, Darkpower, where the hell am I in the Tournament?!! COLE: OH MY!! GOOD QUESTION!! DARKPOWER: Now WAIT A MINUTE, Paul... BIG SHOW: I said, WHY AM I NOT IN THE DAMN THING?!! ROSS: He better answer!! DARKPOWER: Because, I have you for the Intercontinental tournament here starting NEXT WEEK!! That was ANOTHER thing that I was gonna announce!! You vs. Ash here next week on RAW, and in the other match, it's gonna be Sailor Mars vs. Midian. BIG SHOW: So, you want ME against some PUNK ASS KID?!! DARKPOWER: I just made the matches. I don't paticularry CARE who the hell you face, as long as you DO it!! BIG SHOW: You listen HERE, you little PUNK!! I have a little problem with your MOUTH!! DARKPOWER: Umm, no offence, but watch your language!! There ARE kids watching tonight... BIG SHOW: I don't give a DAMN about no AUDIANCE!! YOU want to disclude the BIG SHOW from the MAIN EVENT!! I'll give you some things that you will NEVER, EVER forget!! DARKPOWER: [now getting angry] YOU LISTEN HERE!!I'm gonna say this as NICE as I CAN!!! I don't TOLERATE that kind of LANGUAGE here in the CWF, ESPECIALLY when it's directed towards ME!! You say what you want on your OWN time, but when your in the CWF, you WATCH THAT MOUTH, MISTER, because with the snap of my fingers, I can FIRE YOU HERE ON THE SPOT!! And if you lay ONE finger on ME, I SWEAR TO GOD, I'll shove that MICROPHONE straight up your RECTUM!! You GOT THAT!! BIG SHOW: NO one tells the BIG SHOW what to DO, and that INCLUDES YOU!! With that, he pulls back with a fist and NAILS Darkpower in the face. He is hit HARD and falls to the steel. ROSS: OH MY GOD!! The Big Show may be going a little TOO FAR here!! BIG SHOW: Now, to YOU, you big CAPED RETARD!! SERENA: UH OH!! BIG SHOW: I SWEAR that I can do to YOU what I did to THIS little ass right HERE!! Although I KNOW you don't have the GUTS to do THAT!! T. MASK: You want to challenge ME here TONIGHT?!! Well, next WEEK on RAW, I'll be FREE, so I WILL see YOUR ass THEN!! BIG SHOW: Well, UNTIL you say you want it here TONIGHT, I'll do to HIM what I'll do to YOU next WEEK!! He then kicks Darkpower in the ribs continuously. Darkpower rolls on the steel in PAIN!! ROSS: Come on, STOP THIS!! This is ENOUGH!! COLE: The Big Show might be risking his own CAREER right here, right NOW!! SERENA: Someone needs to get out here NOW!! The Big Show then takes Darkpower and hoists him back up. He then puts his head between his legs as if to set up for a piledriver. ROSS: NO, don't DO THAT!! White then picks him up by the pants he's wearing, hoists him up so he's upside down, and preforms a piledriver on the steel. ROSS: OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!! The Big Show may have seriously injured the owner of this damn COMPANY, and it LOOKS like he never CARED about the CEO's HEALTH there!! COLE: A PILEDRIVER, on that STEEL!! Jim Ross, Darkpower is obviously HURT!! SERENA: There was NO reason for that at ALL!! [we then see the referees come out before The Big Show can go further] And FINALLY the refs comes and stop this hellatious carnage, but the damage has been DONE!! Darkpower is HURT!! The Big Show exits, and that Mask makes his way to Darkpower, who is not moving. ROSS: Oh my God!! This is totally an inexcusable act by the Big Show, all because he didn't get what he WANTED!! He wanted to be in the MAIN EVENT!! And because of THAT, Darkpower got hurt, and it looks like he may be gone for the rest of the night!! COLE: Right, an INEXCUSABLE act, and by next week, the Big Show may be out of a JOB!! SERENA: You just don't DO that to the OWNER of the CWF, and he had WARNED him also about the kind of LANGUAGE he was using, and the Big Show took offense to THAT, as well!! I don't know what kind of chip that the Big Show has on his sholder here TONIGHT, but that's NO EXCUSE for what happened HERE right NOW!! Folks, well, be right back, and hopefully try to regain some ORDER!! They go to a break, then come back. ROSS: Certanly an unnecessary turn of events that just happened here, ladies and gentlemen, and we DO want to apologize for the language, which WASN'T planned [they ALWAYS have to do this when someone uses some unallowed words, so here is that stuff]. But then the Big Show certanly did a NUMBER on Darkpower, who is not only the CEO, but the man who put the CWF TOGETHER, who got everything MADE up, even got us on Sailor Moon Romance's web site, who are SUCH nice people to let us on their network!! He absolutly crushed him, and then look at THIS!! [they show the piledriver] He did a piledriver on the steel stage, and that was going TOO FAR!! COLE: Well, standing by is The New Guy, and New Guy, I think you have some update on Darkower's condition!! Switch to the backstage to a man with short black hair and with a mustache on. This is the New Guy [what he is called], and behind him are paramedics trying to get Darkpower into an ambulance. NEW GUY: Well, Michael Cole, the condition is that Darkpower has suffered a concussion, and the paramedics plan to take him to a medical pecility near here!! He has also suffered a serious neck injury, and he'll be gone for the rest of the night!! SERENA: New Guy, what can you tell us about the attitude that the Big Show gave to the paramedics and everyone else in the back. NEW GUY: Well, Serena, I can't tell you, because NO ONE has SEEN the Big Show after this, and no one is really DARING to get NEAR him after what he DID!! I really can't tell you, but I can IMAGINE that the attitude cannot be any better than what we have seen a few minutes ago!! ROSS: Well, thanks for the update, New Guy, and [switch back to the ring] if we hear anything on his condition, then we will update you as SOON as we CAN!! But RIGHT NOW, we're going to the ring!! BG: WHAT DOES EVERYBODY WANT?!! Out comes Al Snow, crazed as ever (anyone who watches the WWF knows how mental Al Snow is getting right now), with a maniquin head with him, and the words "Help Me" written backwards on his forehead and on Head's forehead. ROSS: Well, Al Snow is ready to face Sailor Mercury here, and we KNOW how much of a NUTCASE Al Snow is!! He thinks Head TALKS to him!! COLE: It's a maniquin HEAD, for God sakes!! SERENA: Well, that thing DOES give him confidence for WHATEVER reason, and tonight, RAW IS WAR is brought to you by priceline.com, where you get to name your own airline price...and SAVE!! COLE: And by Starburst fruit chews. Need a boost?! GIVE IT SOME JUICE!! ROSS: And by Castrol Motor Oil, the official motor oil of the WWF!! Get an 6 foot WWF poster when you buy a case of Catrol Motor Oil while supplies last. PICK ONE UP, and DRIVE HARD!! Sailor Mercury's music starts playing as she makes her way into the ring. COLE: Well, here comes... All of a sudden, when Merc's halfway down the ramp, the music stops, and the Oddities music plays again!! SERENA: What the hell?! Mercury's NOT an ODDITY?! ROSS: This happened last WEEK with SPIDER- MAN!! What does this all MEAN?!! Well, Merc is making her way to the ring ANYWAYS, and this is a Hardcore Rules match, thanks to Darkpower, before that stuff with the Big Show all STARTED, and we are ready to go!! [the bell rings] Mercury and Snow start of by locking up, and Mercury shoves Snow into the turnbuckle. She then punches his stomach, and then throws him to the opposite turnbuckle. COLE: Anything goes in this match!! Where the hell is Merc going?! She's going below the ring, and getting a...FRYING PAN (?!). ROSS: Where did that frying pan come from?! SERENA: WHO CARES?!! If it's there, she'll [Merc hits Al Snow in the head with the pan] USE IT!! Merc has just slammed that frying pan right ON Al Snow's cranium!! This is a different side from Amy than we USUALLY SEE!! COLE: Amy is CONTINUING to use that thing on Snow's head, and NOW she puts it down, and what is she getting out NOW!! [she gets a LADDER from the bottom of the ring] A LADDER!! ROSS: Things are just coming out of no...WAIT A MINUTE, Al Snow has Head, and he want to USE IT!! [As Mercury goes for Al Snow, he turns around and hits Merc's cranium with Head] AND USE IT HE DOES!!! Al Snow just NAILED Merc with that maniquin head, and he wants to...1....2...NO!! A kick out, MIROCULOUSLY, by Sailor Mercury. COLE: Serena is RIGHT!! We HAVEN'T seen this side of Amy BEFORE!! We've seen her smart side, we've seen her sexy side before, but we haven't seen this MEAN STREAK from her before!! And THIS is SHOWING that side of her TONIGHT, as Al Snow is now setting up that ladder that Merc has brought out and was intended to be used on Al SNOW onto the turnbuckle. Al Snow now gets Mercury to the turnbuckle, irish whip, no, REVERSAL, and [Al Snow is the one who gets rammed into the ladder] WOAH!! Al SNOW just got RAMMED into that ladder, and HERE COMES MERCURY!! [she body splashed Al Snow, who's back was on the ladder. He then goes down.] OH MY GOD!! Al Snow's BACK has GOTTA be BROKEN into about 10 different PIECES after THAT!! WWWOOOOWWWW!! SERENA: No WONDER we're rated "R"!! These Hardcore Matches CERTANLY take THAT rating to the limit, and they're not done YET!! ROSS: And LOOK AT SNOW!! He's LAUGHING!! He's not ALL THERE!! COLE: Mercury now, is getting Snow back UP, and where is she TAKING him?!! She goes with Snow into the crowd opposite from where the ramp is. They start slugging out in the crowd, as they go further and further into the crowd. SERENA: Where are they GOING?!! COLE: That's like, WAY in the BACK there!! In the crowd, slugging it out now!! They have now reached the upper decks of the arena!! And Mercury has gotten the upper hand in this battle!! [Mercury grabs a table, and sets it up. She then puts Snow's body vertical onto the table] NOW what is she gonna do?! She goes onto the deck, about five feet from the ground level. ROSS: Don't tell me she's gonna TRY IT!! COLE: She is WAY up there!! Mercury then preforms a STUPENDOUS elbow drop five feet from the ground, and CONNECTS to Al Snow, breaking the table that he was on. SERENA: [litterly screaming now] OH MY GOD, MERCURY HAS JUST DROPPED FIVE FEET AND BROKE THE TABLE!! I DON'T KNOW IF THERE STILL ALIVE AFTER THAT!! COLE: THAT COULD SERIOUSLY HURT A PERSON, AND MERC DROPPED AN ELBOW ONTO AL SNOW THAT HIGH!! AND NO ONE IS MOVING!! WAIT A MINUTE, MERCURY IS PINNING SNOW...1....2....3!! WE HAVE GOT A WINNER!! RING ANN.: Your winner of the match, SAILOR MERCURY!! ROSS: Well, you ALL were RIGHT!! Mercury is not as smart as she make her OUT to be, because anyone with a BRAIN WOULDN'T DO THAT, although she may also have the GUTS AND smarts!! COLE: She DEFINITLY deserves this avancement!! And we NOW know who Stone Cold will face next week on RAW, when we are LIVE!! SERENA: Well, coming up NEXT, are they or AREN'T they?! Team Rocket will try to explain what happened last night on HEAT, when we come back!! They go to a commercial for a few minutes, then come back. SERENA: Welcome back to the WAR ZONE here, and now sitting by me is Jerry "The King' Lawler, and King, we have so far seen a hellatious night, and we ain't done YET!! KING: Oh, TELL ME ABOUT IT!! Not only did we see all HELL break loose a few minutes ago courtisy of that IDIOT Al Snow, and that mean girl, Mercury, we ALSO saw Stone Cold Steve Austin and that no good Queen Beryl challenge the McMahons to a NEGAMATCH here tonight. SERENA: Yes, but the REAL story now is the condition on Darkpower. KING: THAT I think wasn't a smart move by the Big Show, although he doesn't have any BRAINS as it is!! I mean, here the guy who basically MADE the CWF, and to do THAT to him, you are SURE to get into trouble, and I think that is WAITING for him!! The Undertaker's music starts to play as he makes his way to the ring. SERENA: Well, last week, we got the scare of our LIVES, as the Undertaker kidnapped Prince Diamond, and made him a part of the Corperate Ministry against his will!! KING: Yeah, I couldn't believe my EYES when he DID that, and even more, that it was even ON AIR last week!! But of course, when you're LIVE, you can't HELP THAT!! SERENA: And then last NIGHT, Prince Diamond was GONNA team with Bradshaw of the Ackolytes against Merc and Mars, when the lights went off, and came back on, with EVERYONE down on the canvas, and we STILL don't know who did THAT yet!! KING: It HAD to be the Undertaker!! Who else could it BE?! Tuxedo Mask's music starts playing, as Mask makes his way to the ring. KING; I ALSO heard that Triple H and the Rock will duke it out tonight, and THIS clown was switched to the Undertaker. SERENA: He ISN'T a CLOWN, King!! KING: He is in MY mind!! How in your right MIND would ANYONE go out in PUBLIC looking like you just came from a WEDDING?!! SERENA: YEAH, SURE!!! And you go out everyday wearing that STUPID crown of YOURS!! KING: This crown make me look like a STUD, thank you very MUCH!! SERENA: AS IF!! KING: WHAT?! SERENA: Well, we are ready for this match, and this is a HARDCORE MATCH now!! The bell rings, and HERE WE GO!! The Undertaker, a HELL BEAST in the ring!! KING: You bet THAT to be true!! He is SO EVIL, so DEMONIC!! I think that Darkpower DID screw Mask right here!! SERENA: The Undertaker has...A CHAIR!! He just threw it into the ring, and Mask has SEEN that, and has GOTTEN the chair. He is gonna [Mask hits the Undertaker in the head with the chair]... KING: OHH NO!! What's with getting hurt in the HEAD tonight?! SERENA: What do you mean?! KING: Well, first, Darkpower gets PILEDRIVED, then half of the blows in the LAST match was to the HEAD, and NOW Tuxedo Mask NAILS the Undertaker with the chair...IN THE HEAD!! SERENA: I never saw it THAT way, but ANYWAYS, The Undertaker is now getting Mask in the throat with those punches to the throat!! To the turnbuckle, and now the Undertaker, pounding away at his opponent. Undertaker has his arm, and...LIKE A TIGHTROPE walker, the Undertaker walks across the top rope, jumps, and...[the Undertaker took too much time, as mask punches UT's midsection on UT's way down] TOOK TOO MUCH TIME ON THE ROPES!! Mask caught him, and now HE has the upper hand in this match. KING: Come on Undertaker!! SERENA: Mask has got...OH MY GOD!! A HAMMER!! KING: Where did he get THAT from?!! SERENA: Well, I don't know, but he wants to use it on the dead man here TOINGHT!! [the Undertaker gets back up, and Mask NAILS UT in the head with that hammer] AND USE IT HE DID!! KING: OH MY GOSH!! I don't think he'll be able to get up from THAT!! SERENA: Mask, pinning....1....2.....3!!! A BIG UPSET HERE TONIGHT!! KING: I can't BELIEVE it!! He defeated the Undertaker, give assist to...A HAMMER!! SERENA: Well, we NOW know who Val Venus will face on Sunday Night Heat this Sunday, and we are LIVE this Sunday!! Meanwhile, we are STILL awaiting what could be a match of epic proportions. The Rock FINALLY gets his hands on Triple H, and the winner will try to take Beryl out of the tournament on Sunday Night Heat, as well. However, coming up NEXT, we must know if Team Rocket is with DX or NOT!! We'll find out NEXT!! [CWF Commercial] ANN.: And now, the CWF SLAM OF THE WEEK, presented by priceline.com!! Name your own airline price and SAVE!! [the scene now switches to Sunday Night Heat last night] SERENA: Wait a minute, what are they doing...[they open it up by the top to reveal a pool full of...BEER] OH MY GOD!! KEVIN: Austin is about to give Vince...a BEER BATH!! Austin drags Vince to the truck, hoists him up on it, gives him a few punches, and drags him up to the top. Then... SERENA: AUSTIN...PUSHES VINCE!! [SPLASH!! He has just gone into the beer bath. Don't worry, there's no chance in HELL of him drowning in that stuff] HE'S IN!! [Austin's music then plays] VINCE HAS JUST GOTTEN A BEER BATH. THANKS TO THE RATTLESNAKE!! [Austin gets some beers of his own and drinks up] I WONDER IF HE'LL SMELL LIKE ROSES!! KEVIN: Well, he'll feel like a NEW MAN, believe ME!! [scene now comes back] ANN.: THAT was the CWF SLAM OF THE WEEK, presented by priceline.com. name your own airline price, and SAVE!! [end CWF commercial] They then go to a regular commercial, then come back. SERENA: Well, we now await the arrival of Team... Corperate Ministry's music plays INSTEAD!! KING: OH YES!! Come out Vince McMahon!! SERENA: What are THEY doing out here?! They SHOULD be getting ready for that Negamatch here tonight. KING: They don't NEED to get ready. Vince McMahon has it ALL COVERED!! He KNOWS Stone Cold's weakenesses, and I bet he has studied Beryl's weaknesses, as well, and I KNOW that the McMahons will take both of them, and knock the living HELL out of them. SERENA: However, the Negaverse is Beryl's world. She knows EVERYTHING about it. She is at her best there, and we ALL know that Stone Cold doesn't give a DAMN WHERE he faces the McMahons, as long as he CAN!! So the McMahons, I think, have got their hands full!! KING: Obviously, your looking in the wrong game plan there. Vince then grabs the mike and starts to speak. VINCE: Well, well, well. Those SHOW OFFS, Degeneration X!! Why don't you come out here, and face the Corperate Ministry. KING: UH OH!! BG: BIIIIGGGGGG STARS (X-PAC).......YOU THINK YOU CAN TELL US WHAT TO DO (YEAH)......YOU THINK YOU CAN TELL US WHAT TO WEAR (HA HA HA!!).....YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER (YEAH!!) WELL, YOU BETTER GET READY TO BOW TO THE MASTERS (SUCK IT)!! X-Pac and Road Dogg makes their way to the ring. SERENA: ASK AND YOU SHALL RECIEVE!! Here comes the bad boys of the CWF THEMSELVES!! KING: Vince better get OUT of there. He's ALL ALONE!! X-Pac starts to speak. X-PAC: Hey, Vinnie Mac, why don't you take you're mike, and STICK IT UP YOUR ASS!! We're here to PARTY, and ain't NO ONE that's gonna STOP US, and that INCLUDES you!! ROAD DOGG: Now, I'm gonna to say this LOUD and CLEAR...[crowd now joins in] LLLADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BOYS AND GIRLS, CHILDREN OF ALL AGES, D-GENERATION X PROUDLY BRINGS TO YOU, THE R O A D TO THE D O DOUBLE-G THE ROAD DOGG, JESSIE JAMES. AND, IF YOUR NOT DOWN WITH THE ROAD DOGG AND THE X TO THE P A C, THEN I'VE GOT TWO WORDS FOR YA... CROWD: SUCK IT!! SERENA: They are pumped TONIGHT!! Then they are intrupted by the music of Team Rocket, and Jessie, James, and Meowth make their way to the ring. KING: Well, here comes the moment of TRUTH!! SERENA: Your damn right about THAT!! We are about to find out just what went on last NIGHT!! James grabs the mike and starts to speak. JAMES: Well, it's the one MILLION dollar question!! Are we, or AREN'T WE a part of DX!! SERENA: Slap on a million MORE for THAT!! JESSIE: We were BARRAGED with MANY people's questions!! Are we with DX?! Are we with DX?! MEOWTH: Well, guys, we are gonna say one thing about all of that!! James, the floor is all yours!! JAMES:...IF YOUR NOT DOWN WITH TEAM ROCKET NOW IN DX, THEN WE HAVE TWO WORDS FOR YA.... CROWD:...SUCK IT!!! SERENA: THE ANSWER IS OBVIOUS!! KING: OH NO!!! The wreakening is upon us!! All of a sudden, Ash Kethum comes out. ASH: Hey, Team LOSERS!! HA HA HA!! SERENA: OH NO!! KING: YES!! FINALLY, a TRUE HERO comes out!! SERENA: PLEEZE!!! ASH: You KNOW, you SHOULD be ASHAMED of yourselves. Getting little KIDS to say the words SUCK IT!! You see, people, THIS is what the world is making our CHILDREN into!! These are called VILLIANS!! they try to get people to do what they don't WANT to do, or SHOULDN'T do!! Well, I'M gonna be your REAL hero!! JAMES: First of all, Ash, STOP YOUR !!! SERENA: WOAH!!! X-PAC: Hey, PUNK!! If you don't like to be around JACKASSES like your basically called Team Rocket, then why the hell were you seen last week taking bribes from THIS TRUE jackass, Vince McMahon?!! KING: Oh no!! SERENA: GOOD QUESTION!! ASH: X-Pac, you should KNOW that they OWED me some money!! They had BORROWED money from me, and they were just giving it BACK to me!! SERENA: Oh, COME ON!! KING: Right, they were just paying back a debt!! SERENA: Yeah, or was it a BRIBE?!! JESSIE: You know, Ash, everyone here KNOWS that that is a BUNCH of BS, and even YOU know THAT!! [crowd cheers]!! And there is something ELSE that you should know!! We might be VILLIANS, we might NOT!! But one thing is for DAMN sure, they LIKE us, and YOU shouldn't try to CHANGE that with that STUPID line about us being villians, and we SHOULDN'T be CHEERED!! There wasn't ANY TIME where we WANTED to be ROLE MODELS!! We just BECAME that way!! JAMES: Oh, and one more thing, ASH!! Last night on Sunday Night HEAT, you did something that pissed me OFF!! You SEE, you cost me the shot at the Title at Wrestlemania, and I think that you shouldn't be glad about THAT, because I'm about to kick your sorry ASS because of THAT!! ASH: So, you're gonna CHALLENGE me to a MATCH here TONIGHT?!! JAMES: No, not TONGIHT!! You SEE, I STILL wanna be at Wrestlemania, and I want YOUR ass there, too!! So, at Wrestlemania, how about we lay down a challenge. If I win, you STOP this BS about us not supposed to be cheered!! ASH: Okay, so what's the incentive if I win?! JAMES: If, by me being SCREWED over, you WIN, then THAT will be the last time EVER you will see Team Rocket in the CWF!! SERENA: WOAH!! ASH: I'll see your ass at Wrestlemania, and, after that night, we'll see your ass LATER!! [he leaves] X-PAC: Oh, and one more thing Ash... ALL IN RING AND CROWD: SUCK IT!! [DX Music starts playing] SERENA: Well, then, the challenge has been set down for the super bowl of the CWF, Wrestlemania. Well, coming up NEXT, Edge vs. Goku, and after what happened LAST WEEK, both will be looking out for the Corperate Ministry here tonight!! They go to a break, then come back, with the GTV! logo on the bottom left hand corner. This GTV! is with Bad Ass Billy Gunn with Chyna and Triple H in their locker room. GUNN: I can't BELIEVE that ASS, Road Dogg, got me disqualified from that tournament. TRIPLE H: Hey, don't worry about it!! After I get rid of that PUNK, the Rock, tonight, I have a clean way to the Title at Wrestlemania. GUNN: Hey, but what about that queen?!! TRIPLE H: Hey, I've got that covered. Chyna will get to Beryl BEFORE I get to her!! CHYNA: That will be MINE before she can get her hands on Triple H!! GUNN: Yeah, but first we must take care of The CROCK here tonight!! TRIPLE H: WE?! BA, do you think that I need YOU to beat the ROCK?! Do you really think that I need CHYNA to beat Queen Beryl?!! Do you really think I need ANYONE to be the CWF champion?!! BULL!! CHYNA: But Hunter...?! TRIPLE H: BUT HUNTER my ASS!! I'll see the Rock in the RING!! [he goes out and slams the door] GUNN: What's with HIM today?! CHYNA: Don't worry about him!! They come back to the ring after GTV! signs off. SERENA: TROUBLES in THAT group?!! KING: Well, Triple H is DETERMINED to get that title, and he wants o do it HIS way!! But why get in THEIR faces?! And why was GTV! THERE!! Edge's music starts to play, as the camera's starts searching for him in the crowd. SERENA: Well, we're ready to try this AGAIN!! Edge against Goku once again, and THIS time, there MUST be a winner!! That's because of what happened last week on RAW IS WAR [the graphic to start the replay starts it, showing what happened last week], when the Corperate Ministry came out and NAILED both Edge and Goku, and NOW [as they come back to the ring, where Edge has entered] they are ready for ANYONE!! Goku comes out to NO MUSIC (since there ISN'T any for him at this time), and he runs to Edge, and the match is underway. SERENA: The bell rings, and HERE WE GO!! Edge, to the ropes, comes BACK TOWARDS US, and NAILS GOKU with a HELLATIOUS closeline!! KING: MY GOSH!! SERENA: Goku is having trouble getting back up, and Edge..SPEAR, as Goku...1....2.....3!! JUST LIKE THAT, it's OVER!! KING: The QUICKEST match that I have ever SEEN here!! SERENA: Well, still to come, the Negamatch, and it has Queen Beryl and Stone Cold Steve austin, vs. Vince and Shane McMahon, and coming up NEXT, Triple H vs. The Rock!!! They soon come back from the commercial they were on. BG: MY SELF...IS THIS ON!! HHH's music starts to play, and he makes his way to the ring. SERENA: Well, Triple H vs. The Rock is coming up NEXT, and we want to remind you that Universal Pictures presents CWF Wrestlemania: The Ultimate War, live on Pay-Per-View. BG: DO YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN'?! KING: OH NO!! SERENA: THE ROCK IS HERE!! The most electrifying man in sports-enertainment is HERE!! KING: Will you SHUT up already?! The Rock may be the most charasmatic, the most ELECTRIFYING man in sports-enertainment. HOWEVER, Triple H has ALL the moves to make sure that he gets to the next round. SERENA: And remember what we saw EARLIER on GTV!! We saw that Triple H has some problems with HELP right now, and he thinks that he doesn't need any help from ANYONE to get the title at Wrestlemania!! KING; And that's...AHH!! SERENA: The bell has rung, and the Rock is taking Triple H to school here in the early going. Right hands by the Great One.. KING: Oh, PLEEZE!! YOU'RE a fan of the CROCK?!! SERENA: It's the ROCK, King!! Irish whip to the far side, and ...CLOSELINE!! OH MY GOD!! KING: Triple H was nearly DECAPITATED!! I don't like this one BIT!! SERENA: The Rock now, takes the former DX member, back to his feet, and ABOUT TO END IT EARLY, but Triple H escapes the onslaught, and goes...oh, WHAT THE HELL IS CHYNA doing out here?! KING: Oh YES!! Go CHYNA!! SERENA: The ref is coming out to the outside to get Triple H to get back into the ring. He's dis...OH NO!! REF, get back over there. Chyna's got a damn [as the ref is distracted, Chyna hits the Rock from behind with a] CHAIR!! CHYNA has done the dirty work for Triple H, as the Rock is down and out, and back in the ring is Triple H!! He get's the Rock set up for the PEGTIGREE [he preforms it]!! And 1....2....3!!! [bell rings and music starts to play] Victory for Triple H, give the assist to CHYNA!! The ref didn't see a DAMN thing!! KING; Will you SHUT UP!! Triple H has DONE IT!! He ADVANCES!! SERENA: It would've been a DIFFERENT outcome if Chyna didn't get involved, I can guarentee you THAT!! In ANY event, he DOES advance, and get THIS, on Sunday Night Heat, he gets ANOTHER shot at Queen Beryl, and SPEAKING of Queen Beryl, the Negamatch is NEXT!! They go to a final commercial break, then come back. When they do, the cameras are now in the Negaverse, where the McMahons are, and are awaiting their opositions. SERENA: Well, we have taken our FINAL commercial break, and we are ready to go in this Negamatch. The rules are simple. There ARE NO RULES!! KING: No matter!! The McMahons will be victorious!! SERENA: Well, the Mcmahons are awaiting the arrivial of Queen Beryl and Stone Cold Steve Austin, and...WAIT A MINUTE!! There...RIGHT BEHIND THEM!! KING: AHH!! SERENA: The Mcmahons get turned AROUND!! OHH, a BIG right to Shane by Beryl, while Austin goes to work on Vince McMahon!! All the ref can do is just stand there and watch this happen. Vince, goes to a wall, and [Austin pounds McMahons head into the wall] OH MY GOD!! Vince has GOTTA be in MAJOR PAIN after that, and look at BERYL!! KING: Do something, Shane!! SERENA: Shane is standing there, DAZED from many right hands by Beryl...WHAT THE HELL does she have...THAT'S her STAFF!! Beryl twirls her staff like a line twirler would do, and VERY FAST, before smacking Shane's BACK with it!! SERENA: My GOD, and AGAIN!!! Shane is DOWN, and Beryl, choking the LIFE out of Shane McMahon. KING: VINCE, do something!! SERENA: Vince has got HIS hands full with Austin, as Austin...where the hell, that's a resting bed, and Austin lays McMahon down near it, and gets ON it...OH MY GOD!! Elbow drop from the bed there!! KING: Oh NO!! SERENA; Meanwhile, Beryl has Shane back up!! Where is she...HER CHAIR!! She's putting Shane on the chair, backs up, and...A CLOSELINE.... AND SHANE HAS JUST FELL BACK!! THE CHAIR FELL BACKWARDS FROM THE CLOSELINE, WITH SHANE IN THE THING!! KING: And look at AUSTIN!! SERENA: Austin has LIFTED the bed, and...DROPS it on Vince...what the hell?! A portal has opened!! KING: WHAT?! SERENA: Both Austin and Beryl are going into it with the McMahons!! They end up going back into the backstage area of the arena. SERENA: I think they might come back HERE into the arena, King!! KING: OH NO!! SERENA: Austin still with Vince, and he's with a chair...POW!! RIGHT on the crainium!! Steel against skull, while Beryl, INTO the fence there in the back. Now grabbing a barrel, and NAILS it into Shane's skull!! Where are the going NOW!! They end up going...BACK INTO THE ARENA!! SERENA: THERE THEY ARE!! There coming back into the arena, back to ringside!! Beryl, on the stage with Shane McMahon, has that siren light, and NAILS Shane with the damn LIGHT!! KING: My GOSH!! SERENA: Austin and Vince McMahon are coming over near US here!! Austin bounces McMahon's head on Serena and Lawler's table!! SERENA: WOAH!! [she gets out of her seat quickly to avoid getting nailed in the process. Lawler does the same.] Austin just bounced Vince's head right on our table here, King!! KING: I don't know if we're SAFE HERE!! Austin then gets ON the table with Vince, and starts to punch Vince in the head. SERENA: Austin, on the table here with Vince McMahon!! What's he doing NOW!! [he gets set for an elbow drop on the table. Vince lays motionless on the table.] Oh no, LOOK OUT HERE!! KING: AHHHH!!! SERENA: Austin's gonna....[Austin elbow drops Vince, not breaking the table, but nearly DOES, but he ain't done YET!!] OH MY GOD!! We nearly have a CAR WREAK out here, and we're not even LOOKING at what's happeing on the STAGE here!! Austin then gets on the ring apron, and starts an elbow drop from THERE!! SERENA: Oh no, not AGAIN!! AHHH!! THIS time, Austin BREAKS their table, and neither Serena or the King is able to commentate. Austin then takes Vince and goes to the stage where Beryl and Shane are. Beryl joins Austin, as they bump the two McMahon's heads on each other. Then Serena is able to get back on the commentating mike. SERENA: Am I back on here?!! King, can you hear me?!! KING: Loud and clear, but we have a MESS out here!! SERENA: Austin pins Vince....1.......2.........3!! WINNERS!!! But not without carnage over here!! HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!! There's TRIPLE H!! He's got Beryl, and HE HAS HER STAFF!! OH MY GOD!! HE'S JUST BROKE THAT THING ON BERYL'S BACK!! NOW what is he...OH MY GOD, NO!! [HHH punches Beryl on the edge, and Beryl goes off of the stage INTO A TABLE!!] OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!! Beryl just flew five feet off of that stage, and into a table!! Beryl is down, and she needs help FAST!! Triple H is even LAUGHING at this!! What was so damn FUNNY about THAT?! KING: Oh my God!! SERENA: There's gonna be some hell to pay on Sunday Night Heat, but Triple H may have won the WAR HERE!! [Triple H's music plays] Triple H and Queen Beryl for SNH, but if there is ANY indication of how Triple H will compete at SNH HERE TONIGHT, we may be LOOKING at the VERY FIRST CWF CHAMPION!! They go off the air with that!! --------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Well, what did you think about THAT!! It took me a while to do this week's RAW/WAR ZONE (what I'll be CALLING it from now on). Who do you want to win the CWF World Title at Wrestlemania?! We have now Stone Cold vs. Sailor Mercury, Tuxedo Mask vs. Val Venus, Spider Man vs. Edge, and Triple H vs. Queen Beryl. Right now, I am looking for a Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Beryl matchup for Wrestlemania. How do you GET Wrestlemania. WELL.. All you have to do is E-mail me, tellming me that you want it, and, when the date comes, I'll give it to you. I PROMISE to you that no Trojan Horses will be ridden into any downloads that I give you (believe me!! I don't even know how to WRITE a virus, let ALONE put one into a program)!! E-mail me at darkpowrjd@aol.com (no charge, although I DO say Pay-Per-View), along with any of the other comments and/or suggestions that you may have. Also, I REALLY have to thank SM Romance once AGAIN (as if I didn't KISS UP to them ENOUGH in this broadcast) for putting this on, knowing what kind of things that the WWF does, and the kind of dialogue that is used here. Also, I'm thinking of writing THE WEBMASTERS on this site into my story somewhere here (like, GUESTS AT WRESTLEMANIA, maybe), so tell me what you think. I'll even be so kind as to, on next week's RAW, to put in the E-Mails that I get, negative OR positive (negatives tell me what to fix on this, bcause you can tell me what i'm doing WRONG on that, UNLESS you tell me that you don't like the WWF or something, THEN there's little I can do THERE)!! Until next time!!